Siren
April 27, 2015, 6:04pm
50
Re: His Money / My Money
Yeah comes off as a bit selfish..when you start talking about my money vs. his money, especially when he is throwing his money to keep you happy. He doesn’t have that mentality, you shouldn’t either. He has a big heart, grow with him and develop a big heart also. You’re on the same team, your mentality should be it’s “our” money. He will get blessings for his big heart and helping his family. He seems like a gem of a guy.
The real issue is spending habits and savings. That is perfectly reasonable and acceptable for you two to sit down and have a talk about how to start saving. Create a budget and every month put 10% in a retirement fund and another 10% in a savings account. Dont wait until end of the month to go over bills, plan in advance. Whatever you have left over use that for a vacation, if didn’t save enough to go on a vacation after putting money in savings then forgo vacation. This is an easy issue to resolve but need to remain calm and level headed, don’t judge him or accuse him of overspending. Guys try to shy away when the wife gets overly emotional or stressed out or angry so try to remain calm. You’re being reasonable about planning for the future. And yes he should not be throwing out money to friends or cousins, he’s trying to live up to his image perhaps which is why he feels he needs to give extravagantly because everyone thinks he is really rich and well off. Try to see his perspective for why he’s doing this. It’ll help you better approach it. But youre right in this regard, he needs to stop handing out his money to people who arent his immediate family. Also look up youtube videos on how to save–plenty of resources and sample budgets.
I understand where he is coming from and I see what you’re saying too. The problem is that I’ve never been the one to give extravagant gifts to people if I’m not close to them. But if we look at our resources as “our money”, I feel like I’m being unfair to my family/friends. His family and friends get all the expensive gadgets, but my friends only gets cheap souvenirs. This is frustrating, and whenever I bring it up, he gets all offended and says “I know what my family/friends like”…there’s got to be a limit and he is either unwilling or unable to acknowledge that