His Money / My Money

[Paheli00]

Re: His Money / My Money

@Siren

I’m trying so hard to save for a house now and we’re also trying for a baby soon. I feel like he isn’t supporting me at all.

@Siren

I feel like he doesn’t value my opnion or my feelings. I’m so sick of feeling like I’m the stingy b****, and this is really taking a toll on my relationship…

Few thoughts:

1. Given what you wrote above, I would strongly urge you to NOT try for a baby until things improve. A baby will only add stress to the relationship and if this is how you’re feeling now…I can’t even imagine how it will be while you’re dealing with pregnancy/recovering from delivery and dealing with a newborn. Not to mention a baby will also add to your expenses.

2. How is your finances set up? As someone else mentioned, will your husband not agree to setting up a specific way to doing thing? For example, set up a savings account and jointly agree that BOTH of you will put a certain % or X amount of money in that account every paycheck. Even with this house situation…how much is HE contributing towards it? You keep saying that you are saving for the house…does HE want to buy a house too? A house generally increases expenses when it come to bills, decorating/furnishing, and general maintenance. Does he realize this?

3. Is there an elder, family friend, one of his friends…ANYONE who can talk to him about this to knock some sense into him?