His Money / My Money

[Siren]

Re: His Money / My Money

Yes he’s interested in buying a house too (perhaps more so than me). And yes, I’ve already tried the budgeting route. I even force him to sit down with me at the end of each month to go over all our bills and stuff. We are always overspending and I think it freaks him out, so he never wants to do it. We’ve had really big fights over it too. I’m a planner, so I like to have all my ducks in a row, and he’s like “things have a way of working out , money isn’t everything, you worry too much, blah blah blah”.

I’ve explained this to him, I’ve yelled, screamed and even cried over this, and his reaction is just to placate me and then go about his business doing whatever the hell he feels like doing. I feel like he doesn’t value my opnion or my feelings. I’m so sick of feeling like I’m the stingy b****, and this is really taking a toll on my relationship…

@redvelvet

It’s commendable that he’s generous with friends and family, MA…and let him know this…as well as that it shouldn’t come at the expense of his own security. Is he also interested in buying a house? If so and if that’s a common goal, then have you tried working with him to set a budget as to how much should be spent on gifts and how often? That way he’s not being prevented altogether; he’ll have some flexibility and it’ll allow you both to work toward saving for a home. Trying to convince him that his friends and family are not genuine or that they won’t reciprocate in kind might backfire and close his mind toward your arguments especially if he’s very close to them. So, instead focus on how to manage the expenditures together.