Him or Family???

[messedup]

Re: Him or Family???

@RocketSocket

If you don’t mind me asking. What’s the status of your sister’s marriage? Is she happy? Do your parents like the guy? Is she changed? Like doesn’t talk with you guys much?

hmm…so my sis has done an inter-caste marriage..and shukar..my jiju is a gem, and is like a son to my mom. he’s there when we need him and also lets my sis visit our place frequently. so all in all, he’s turned out to be a gr8 choice. And yes she is HAPPY!!!..blessed with a baby boy few months back!!! MA!!

@queer

well if i really liked the guy (i hope he’s tall and has a nice behind) and was serious, i would have tried to find a way to be close to him physically - find a job within traveling distance or something - without giving up on any of life’s major priorities - family, career. anyone half-decent can seem awesome for 2 days worth of meeting, but you have to know he’s good enough and be reasonably sure that you guys can make it work before you decide to do anything drastic - with family support or without.

He’s 6ft!!! anyways, thts not the primary reason we are together! there are many others…when we became friends..i was going thru a very rough phase of my life..was undergoing treatment for some fatal health issues…and then he approached me…saying tht “I complete his family”…i was speechless…but thn i told him the truth abt my health issues…and he stood by me, saying it doesnt matter to him, coz he’d already decided i was the one!..altho not with me physically, but yes emotionally a lot. he wuld be concerned abt my medical tests, medicines and other things and wuld assure me things wuld be fine and tht he’s with me always. He could have easily stopped all communication with me then, after i told him my health issues. But he didnt!!!.. this is jst one of the reasons…

Yes, we do plan to spend more time together…IA next year. But till thn i jst have to avoid any more rishta’s coming my way.

@delhi2lahorekarachi

acha we will come up with a plan. winning over indian in laws is hard but not impossible. Have you watched veer zaara together as family? Do you know reasons why they are opposed? He has a good job, family sounds nice and loving and location won’t be an issue if you both live in UAE. I’m not sure what legal rights you have but there are many in India with Pakistani spouses so it shouldn’t affect your travel. …

…If your future pati is worth his shan masala he will take the steps mentioned above and take his time. Yes, it would be nice to marry him. Yes, it would be nice to keep the parents satisfied.
Think of the combination though. BOTH the parents satisfied and a husband you love. It is worth it if it takes time and he should be willing to work to make it happen. However, if both parents and future H (husband) are stubborn i wouldn’t waste a decade on it. Or 3-4 decades on it. Life will have to move on.

From the Indian-Pakistani couples i know.
Love should be like Veer Zaara. You should both have the feeling of “aisa desh hai mera” in your hearts. yes disagreements will occur with politics and cricket but you should love the essence of each others countries. You should love Pakistan and he should love India. At least some parts of it for both of you. But there should be no hate. Even amongst the families there should be some common understanding.

thanks a lot delhi2lahorekarachi…thts very sweet of u…i really appreciate but practically speaking, the DDLJ and Veerzara techniques are too filmy and not possible in real life when u talk abt an indo pak relationship. Its practically not possible for him to fly down to mumbai as per his whims and my fancies but yeah…we did plan something similar…like trying to get my mom here in UAE and maybe he and his family can meet her once. but tht will still take a few months!

And talking abt respect for each others nation…his mom was an Indian before she got married…o.O i guess he’s jst following his dad’s legacy :P…jokes apart…his mom’s side of family is still in India (hyd) and few of the cousins in mumbai…but as i said…it doesnt go well with my mom…

@Decent_6Chora

Is he worth leaving ur parents for? (hint hint no one is worth leaving parents for unless ur parents are treating u bad and u see him as a savior)
Have u chalked up ur limits u can go to in this relationship? Lot depends on that.

hmmm…m in no way leaving my parents!!!..even he knows tht!!!..so the only option is to convince them…and talking abt my limits…i wuld say…time is not a limit for me…i have waited all these years to find someone like him, and now tht i have found him, i can wait till i get him!!! (too filmy i knw…:p) but thts how i feel for him!!!..if its not him…it cant be neone else!!!