Re: Hijabi
and islam also says to treat others with respect and kindness. don't let anyone feel threatened or disrespected.
knowledge is nothing without having the wisdom of spreading it.
but for ur kind info touching a non mehram is not allowed in islam
Re: Hijabi
yeah i feel awkward when men at work want to shake hands with me. its such an awkward situation.
i think with another muslim male, and for some reason, they wanted to shake you hand, maybe you could put ur hand to your upper chest and nod ur head and say salam. I see a lot of brothers do that when they greet each other at the masjid, they woudl shake each others hands and put their own hand to their chest and nod. Its now becomign a habit of mine if I do greet someone that I dont shake hands with or hug (male or female).
whats done is done. if you feel guilty, repent and inshallah in the future you can avoid these awkward situations.
i remember once at a islamic conference, Shaykh Hamza Yousaf was walking by me and gave his salam to me (i was standing by myself). i was so in awe of him and so flustered, that for some reason i replied back with salams and gave him the "adaab" hand gesture..ha ha. so weird cuz i never do that and no one in my family does that either. i felt like umrao jaa. ha ha
Re: Hijabi
I think its rude to not accept someones handshake if they offer one.
Btw, I'm just curious, how will you act in a professional environment where handshaking is normal whenever you meet a contact?
In a socail situation I"d say....hmm..are you a nail biter? Perfect excuse. Or if ur close to food say you haven't had a chance to go wash your hands yet. :D
i have been in professional environment, and trust me after once or twice everyone knew my limits and they really did respect that. once or twice when i have to shake hands out of politeness i told them very nicely that please don't raise your hand to shake with me again, due to my religious reasons, and the people really did respect that and gave me no problems ever.
being hijabi does not automatically mean that the person is super religious. There are hijabis out there that cover but do worse things than shake hands with guys which is why he probably thought "no big deal, it's just a handshake"
don't blame other people for being "ignorant" (for lack of a better word). Maybe he just didn't know, simple.
You should have just declined and said i'm sorry, I don't do handshakes and smiled.
well then if not your hijab, your cloths, your body language than what does give out that signal that says s that dude "no personal contact please". specialy when its desi guys who know better than goras.
Quoted for Truth.
Personal Experience: Hijabi's were the most girls i bang around in back days... now that is ****ing confusing.
i can't be answerable to everyone's act but i am very clear about mine. i am sure my cloths (other than hijab too) my body language and the way i was only with the girls during the entire party (not dancing etc) gave that much away that i am not that hijabi girl u mentioned above.
one thing surprises me that all the americans i have met in college/work, they seems to really respect and give space to anyone who dress up in certain way such as hijab, but our desi mens don't let any chance go.
I've seen that most people offer a handshake out of politeness and just because they are used to it and not necessarily pay attention to whether someone wears a hijab or not...because like someone said above, some hijabis are OK with it, so a previous experience of the guy who shook your hands may have given him the leeway to do that.
So if it is something you are uncomfortable with, just politely step back and let them know that you rather not shake hands with a na mehram. Your body language will say it all, and most people do not take offense.
i know, i am not doubting on that guy's intention. i just wanted to discuss how to prevent it in future without making the situation awkward.
Are you sure you weren't flirting with that guy unknowingly? And yes, I know of hijabis that have set on gora laps (very bold I would say) and then have arms around guy friends like a langotia.
oh yes, you hit the nail ont he head. i was flirting with a guy 4 year younger than me, and the only way of flirtation i know is to shake hands with the guy. I am sure he must have picked that up that the 5th girl he shaked hands with gave flirtation signals by *shaking hands.
Re: Hijabi
but for ur kind info touching a non mehram is not allowed in islam
thank you.
yeah i feel awkward when men at work want to shake hands with me. its such an awkward situation.
i think with another muslim male, and for some reason, they wanted to shake you hand, maybe you could put ur hand to your upper chest and nod ur head and say salam. I see a lot of brothers do that when they greet each other at the masjid, they woudl shake each others hands and put their own hand to their chest and nod. Its now becomign a habit of mine if I do greet someone that I dont shake hands with or hug (male or female).
whats done is done. if you feel guilty, repent and inshallah in the future you can avoid these awkward situations.
i remember once at a islamic conference, Shaykh Hamza Yousaf was walking by me and gave his salam to me (i was standing by myself). i was so in awe of him and so flustered, that for some reason i replied back with salams and gave him the "adaab" hand gesture..ha ha. so weird cuz i never do that and no one in my family does that either. i felt like umrao jaa. ha ha
i am not sure if i feel guilty but i just don't want it to happen in future. and i do like your advice i think i will do the nodding my head in futrue INSHALLAH.
Re: Hijabi
and islam also says to treat others with respect and kindness. don't let anyone feel threatened or disrespected.
knowledge is nothing without having the wisdom of spreading it.
how far would you to with treating other with respect and kindness?? i don't think if i refuse to shake hands with a guy it's any kind of a threat, i have been living in USA for last 11 years, and everytime i refuse someone's hand and explained them nicely, they never seemed to be threatened or offended, not only that they always gave me more respect in future.
i have always felt that people who are used to giving up their moral values because they want to be more acceptable in a different culture endup with least respect among other. (not judging just personal experiance)
Re: Hijabi
how far would you to with treating other with respect and kindness?? i don't think if i refuse to shake hands with a guy it's any kind of a threat, i have been living in USA for last 11 years, and everytime i refuse someone's hand and explained them nicely, they never seemed to be threatened or offended, not only that they always gave me more respect in future. i have always felt that people who are used to giving up their moral values because they want to be more acceptable in a different culture endup with least respect among other. (not judging just personal experiance)
if you were reading my posts, you would know my response was not for you. I was replying to the girl who said she slapped someone
Re: Hijabi
Hmm. I don't feel awkward when shaking hands with the opposite gender, especially in a formal setting such as interviews, conferences etc. Best to shake someone's hand for a few seconds then to waste the next 5 minutes explaining to them why you won't.
Barbie da fatwaa: Shaking hands is okay as long as your dil is paak saaf of haram intentions. :P
Re: Hijabi
Hmm. I don't feel awkward when shaking hands with the opposite gender, especially in a formal setting such as interviews, conferences etc. Best to shake someone's hand for a few seconds then to waste the next 5 minutes explaining to them why you won't.
Barbie da fatwaa: Shaking hands is okay as long as your dil is paak saaf of haram intentions. :P
how is explaining one's own personal beliefs and religion wasting 5 minutes? who knows? the person might become intrigued and want to learn more...
Re: Hijabi
how is explaining one's own personal beliefs and religion wasting 5 minutes? who knows? the person might become intrigued and want to learn more...
Fair enough. But I wouldn't like to get all religious when a person is reaching out to shake hands with me. It isn't a big deal to me but I understand it might be to others. Totally respect that.
Re: Hijabi
I somewhat agree with barbie, sometimes it also depends on the person you're shaking your hand with, if he's not knowledgeable about Islamic culture then it's fine to sometimes just shake the hands and carry on with your work. But when it comes to desis specially muslim desis then you can tell them off without any hesitation.
Re: Hijabi
Were you that french guy she slapped? You sound very much offended :khums:
Re: Hijabi
how is explaining one's own personal beliefs and religion wasting 5 minutes? who knows? the person might become intrigued and want to learn more...
I'm not sure how practical that would be for something like professional job interviews. I doubt the person wants to hear or cares about your religious beliefs in such a situation so why bring them in?
Re: Hijabi
You should smile at them instead of shaking hand with them.
Oh yes, smiling at guys would definitely help you passing this message
[QUOTE]
it's a statement that please stay away
[/QUOTE]
Re: Hijabi
Hmm. I don't feel awkward when shaking hands with the opposite gender, especially in a formal setting such as interviews, conferences etc. Best to shake someone's hand for a few seconds then to waste the next 5 minutes explaining to them why you won't.
Barbie da fatwaa: Shaking hands is okay as long as your dil is paak saaf of haram intentions. :P
look there is one thing i believe in, ALLAHTALA is my creater, when he made me, he knew what kind weakness' are build in me, and where and when i can fall under shaytaan's spell (or what ever u wanna call it) therefore he made restrictions for me to follow so my life will remain simple, and i stay out of trouble.
if ALLAHTALA say touching na mehram is haram, than regardless of what limited aqal, and logic tells me i will believe it, because ALLAHTALA knows the best and everything that i can't even imagine ever knowing.
yes i think my dil is paak saaf, but guess what there is shaytaan with everyone, who can "behka you" and unless i am a farishta (which i am not) i can't claim that i am stronger than a normal human (that ALLAHTALA made those restrictions for).
Re: Hijabi
Personally I prefer not to shake hands. In cases where the other person has already put out their hand, I feel it would be embarrassing so I shake hands. I don't know how to handle such a situation. Having said that, I've been in situations where people asked me, before putting out a hand, 'You're wearing a hijab... so I guess you don't shake hands? It's okay, I perfectly understand.' In those cases I just thank them for understanding me and continue the conversation.
Re: Hijabi
[quote]
one thing surprises me that all the americans i have met in college/work, they seems to really respect and give space to anyone who dress up in certain way such as hijab, but our desi mens don't let any chance go.
[/quote]
Not that I am saying they are horrible, but you haven't seen how two-faced goras can be behind your back.
Re: Hijabi
I'm not sure how practical that would be for something like professional job interviews. I doubt the person wants to hear or cares about your religious beliefs in such a situation so why bring them in?
look, i don't know about other countries, but luckly america is the kind of place where u can practice your religion very openly, and easily, and if anyone ever bothers you, they can have a law suit to take care. it all depends on how strong your are following your own moral values.
i am not sure, but if i am ever in a situation where i will have to tell my future employee that i can't shake hands with you, i will do so. maybe that way it will filter out the bad, or not my kind of jobs out of my way. this way if i get a job, my boss would know what kind of things i will be open to, and what are my limitation.
yes i might not get the job either, but honestly, if your intention is to please ALLAH trust me he will find things that work for you eventually.
and yes, in islam you can find ease in some rules, but make sure you don't go so far with it that your own self become too easy for people to walk all over.
Re: Hijabi
Yanzala, no one is attacking you for not wanting to shake hands with na-mehrams. I said I totally understand and respect that. My khalu is a religious man and he wouldn’t shake hands even with his pyari pyar bhanjis 
so I get it.
Next time someone tries to shake hands with you, just smile and say “I don’t mean any disrespect but I prefer not to shake hands with the opposite gender” … They should understand (especially if they’re desis) and not feel offended. Or you can even say salaam in that “adaab” style in response! 
They’ll get the point!
Re: Hijabi
Not that I am saying they are horrible, but you haven't seen how two-faced goras can be behind your back.
who cares if they are two faced behind my back? it's not like i am ever meeting them for lunch and drinks. as long as they give me space, in class/work. i am fine with them. what they do when i am not present can bother me the least.
Re: Hijabi
his pyari pyar bhanjis
correction
pyari pyari and sehtamand bhanjis