I wear hijab and I always thought of it more than covering my hair for me it’s a statement that please stay away (can’t comeup with better words) anyways, I dont usually go to mixed events where there are guys because I hate when people take group pictures or random pictures and I endup on random guys’ Facebook pictures. Ofcourse there are more reasons for me to not be comfortable about attending mixed events but that’s not a point here the point is one incident I experience when I went to a friends dholki which was mixed.when we were leaving and I was ways saying goodbye to people (hosts) one guy that I had actually only met at this party raised his hand to shake hands with me. I understand that he did not mean anything bad and was only being nice but didn’t he see that I was wearing hijab? I always expected that a Muslim desi guy would understand that when a girls is wearing hijab it means she is religious enough to not feel comfortable with physical cOntact such as shaking hands, hugging or putting arm around shoulder ever if it is to show politeness.
I did end up shaking hands with him because it would have been rude not to do so but for future how can I avoid such situations??
Re: Hijabi
I met a hijabi khatoon who offered her hand to shake with me.
Things happen. Get over them.
Re: Hijabi
Urgh...dont bring drama please. There is nothing to be over anything. I m not freakin crying my eyes over it or anything but just wanted a serious and def. Non-taunting discussion over how to practice my religious believes without insulting anyone.
Re: Hijabi
You should smile at them instead of shaking hand with them.
Oh wait, we can't smile at na mehrams either.
Re: Hijabi
In my point of view you should not have shaken hands with him. You could politely told him that you don't shake hands with man. In this manner he would learn his lesson and would never try again with any other Hijabi woman.
As you shook hands with him which led him believe that its not wrong to shake hands with women. I am not saying that you should be rude but next time if any guy try, just politely tell him you don't shake hands with guys.
Re: Hijabi
You should smile at them instead of shaking hand with them.
Oh wait, we can't smile at na mehrams either.
Oh wow u know that
Re: Hijabi
In my point of view you should not have shaken hands with him. You could politely told him that you don't shake hands with man. In this manner he would learn his lesson and would never try again with any other Hijabi woman.
As you shook hands with him which led him believe that its not wrong to shake hands with women. I am not saying that you should be rude but next time if any guy try, just politely tell him you don't shake hands with guys.
Thanks for the serious and respectful response. And you r right I should have done that, but even American guys in my classes give certain amount if respect to women who wear hijab so I was a bit surprised that a muslim doesn't think along those lines.
Re: Hijabi
There are Hijabi's who do shake hands, so I don't know what to tell you.. If you wear a Niqab or Burqa, that might help get your point across more effectively than a Hijab but then again that would attract a lot more attention than a Hijab.
Re: Hijabi
There are hijabis that shake hands, and there are hijabis that don't. There was a hijabi who smoked weed with me. Its ****ing confusing. The best thing to do is to be straight up and politely tell the other person that you don't shake hands with men.
Re: Hijabi
There are Hijabi's who do shake hands, so I don't know what to tell you.. If you wear a Niqab or Burqa, that might help get your point across more effectively than a Hijab but then again that would attract a lot more attention than a Hijab.
It all depends on mentality I guess. If someone has a gandi nigah he will look at all woman that way but I believe it's my responsibility to keep my self within certain limits because I can't see through everyone I meet.
Re: Hijabi
you shouldn't have gone to the mixed dholki event either. na aap wahan jatin, na yeh nobat aati,
Re: Hijabi
you shouldn't have gone to the mixed dholki event either. na aap wahan jatin, na yeh nobat aati,
I wish u were there to advice me that before I went.
Please read my orig. Post. My question is NOT weather I should have attended the dholki or not.
Please stay on topic.
Re: Hijabi
if your intention was to not to humiliate him by not shaking his hand then tell me how can it be wrong? I understand that it made you uncomfortable and you want to avoid that in future so just say "I'm sorry, I don't" no need to say anything further if something like that happens again.
Who knows, may be he was just testing you.
Re: Hijabi
I don't do hijaab but still don't shake hands with men. But my dad allowed me to shake hannds if a guys offers because otherwise it would be rude. So yes, it would be rude if you do not shake hands with someone who offers the same to you.
But if you do not feel comfortable, you can politely convey your preference to the person. You can politely respond by waving hands and saying 'I am sorry, I prefer it this way'. May be its kinda rude but you will be able to avoid shaking hands.
Re: Hijabi
if your intention was to not to humiliate him by not shaking his hand then tell me how can it be wrong? I understand that it made you uncomfortable and you want to avoid that in future so just say "I'm sorry, I don't" no need to say anything further if something like that happens again.
Who knows, may be he was just testing you.
Lol I don't think he was testing me. He is I guess 4 years younger than me maybe this was one if the reason I didn't refuse shaking hands with him because in past I have refused to few people (mainly Americans, and I refuse very nicely and made sure they aren't offended) but that desi guy just took me by surprise. Khair I was just trying to get advice on how I can not go through it again and u guys r right there is nothing I can do other than nicely refusing.
Re: Hijabi
I don't do hijaab but still don't shake hands with men. But my dad allowed me to shake hannds if a guys offers because otherwise it would be rude. So yes, it would be rude if you do not shake hands with someone who offers the same to you.
But if you do not feel comfortable, you can politely convey your preference to the person. You can politely respond by waving hands and saying 'I am sorry, I prefer it this way'. May be its kinda rude but you will be able to avoid shaking hands.
Agreed.
Re: Hijabi
When I read the title of your thread, in my head I unconsciously start to sing ‘Hijabi ya noor ul ain, ya sakin khayali’ 
Re: Hijabi
^ I liked that song. What ever it meant though.
Re: Hijabi
I think its rude to not accept someones handshake if they offer one.
Btw, I'm just curious, how will you act in a professional environment where handshaking is normal whenever you meet a contact?
In a socail situation I"d say....hmm..are you a nail biter? Perfect excuse. Or if ur close to food say you haven't had a chance to go wash your hands yet. :D
Re: Hijabi
I wear hijab and I always thought of it more than covering my hair for me it's a statement that please stay away (can't comeup with better words) anyways, I dont usually go to mixed events where there are guys because I hate when people take group pictures or random pictures and I endup on random guys' Facebook pictures. Ofcourse there are more reasons for me to not be comfortable about attending mixed events but that's not a point here the point is one incident I experience when I went to a friends dholki which was mixed.when we were leaving and I was ways saying goodbye to people (hosts) one guy that I had actually only met at this party raised his hand to shake hands with me. I understand that he did not mean anything bad and was only being nice but didn't he see that I was wearing hijab? I always expected that a Muslim desi guy would understand that when a girls is wearing hijab it means she is religious enough to not feel comfortable with physical cOntact such as shaking hands, hugging or putting arm around shoulder ever if it is to show politeness. I did end up shaking hands with him because it would have been rude not to do so but for future how can I avoid such situations??
You could have just told him you don't shake hands with men.