I dress conservative just the way she does except for the hijab part.
Last time we went out together for the first time, it felt very odd.
It seemed that everyone was looking at her and THEN looking at me as if I should be ashamed (you can sort out Paki eyes easily in shopping area).
what to do?
I never felt that odd before. My friend does NOT wear hijab when we are just girls, so I don’t feel so odd cause I know her - and she is just as mastiful).
As to your question, I feel weird sometimes too! It's like all the desi's around look from one to another to see the differnece and make it clear they disapprove or something.
And that's so true, like despite them wearing a hijab, theyre as cheeky as me! (;)) But I guess they think you're shareefer if you have a hijab on (wthh??)
I have several awesome friends who wear hijab and although I dress conservatively like you minus the hijab.....I usually don't feel odd w around them. Is it possible that you felt others were looking at you....because your were uncomfortable with the situation to begin with?
People could be looking at you for various reasons. They could even be looking at you girls because they find you both to be attractive. Or if you guys both look desi, than they could be looking at you because they find the contrast interesting.** Bottom line: **it doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter what they were thinking of you.
It's best to leave the judging to Allah.....He alone knows what is in our hearts, how sincere we are, and how strong our faith is. While I don't wear hijab myself, I have respect for those that wear it because I feel it takes courage to wear it especially in a Western country and such a step should be taken to please Allah than to meet societal expectations.
At the same time....I've learned that wearing a hijab is not the be all/ end all of being a Muslim. And I've also learned that hijab is not the sole factor that determines one's faith.
So, relax girl, don't feel odd. Your lack of hijab is not preventing your friend from being friends with you, right? Your friend values your friendship, likes you for who you are as a person, and enjoys spending time with you. And that's what matters most! Not the stares of random strangers who have their own issues to worry about and who will be judged as independently as the rest of us:) Chill, you're okay!
Both feel guilty (for one reason or another) and assume their behinds away like no tomorrow.
People hopefully have better things to do then look at you when you are with hijabis and think anything of you. World does not revolve around us as much as we all want to believe that.
My MIL is pretty MODERN - yet SHE can TRANSFORM in to conservativeness quickly.
This one time, I took my MIL at the mall. On our way back I had to fill up gas so I stopped at the nearest gas station. I was wearing a sleeveless shirt. It was hot month of July. AND my MIL was ok with it because MY HUBBY AND MY MIL were there when MY HUBBY picked it for me.
so anyways, at the gas station - the guys were Pakistanis. He just started mumbling... he said "look at mother, and look at daughter" "ladki ko dekho aur ma ko"
^ no ..no .. I don't wear sleeveless ALL the time - but I wore it at that time because - I don't really know why - lol (but that was 7 years ago) I don't wear sleeveless anymore...
oh plus - my clothes at home are always shalwar kameez. I wear Western when I go out.. because I AM NEVER comfy walking in desi.
It doesn't matter why it bugged him. You don't know him. He's a stranger. And he was tactless. He automatically thought that you both were mother and daughter and that wasn't **exactly **the case........what if you two had been completely unrelated? What if you two were neighbors? Tactless people like that are going make comments without knowing all the facts. You could even argue that is his life so dull that something as simple as two differently dressed women are a form of entertainment for him? And most people who have good manners know better than to make insulting comments about others so loudly in public.
So Masti, why would you be concerned about someone like that? LOL. It was in the past, it's over and done with. It shouldn't have mattered then and it shouldn't matter now.
Ive got some pretty close friends that are hijabi and I never feel uncomfortable around them.
NJ, it may be several things:
Maybe you live in an area or were in an area that isnt frequented by desies or hijabies as much.
Maybe you feel the contrast between yourself and your hijabi friends or MIL a lot and at some level want to wear hijab? Just a thought.
Hijabis and desies in general are a phenomenon for a lot of people...lol. I get stared at but I am SOOOO used to it...doesnt bother me one bit anymore. However, if the starer is obnoxious about it, then I help them out by staring right back or giving them a funny look which shocks them into getting a hold of themselves. LOL.
As for the incident with the Pakistani guys...they were stupid to make comments like that...plain stupid. But to them, it might have looked strange when they saw a lady wearing a hijab and her (assumed) daughter wearing sleeveless. I know you dont wear sleeveless anymore but its a sharp contrast look-wise. Kwim? Not trying to offend you in anyway but just offering a suggestion.
Both feel guilty (for one reason or another) and assume their behinds away like no tomorrow.
People hopefully have better things to do then look at you when you are with hijabis and think anything of you. World does not revolve around us as much as we all want to believe that.
As for the incident with the Pakistani guys...they were stupid to make comments like that...plain stupid. But to them, it might have looked strange when they saw a lady wearing a hijab and her (assumed) daughter wearing sleeveless. I know you dont wear sleeveless anymore but its a sharp contrast look-wise. Kwim? Not trying to offend you in anyway but just offering a suggestion.
my MIL does not wear hijab. She was in plain shalwar kameez with the dupatta half way on her head. She was visiting us... and she is used to having her dupatta half way ALL the time. Beside, my hubby's aunt - my aunt-in-law, she wears BIKINIES.. so my MIL thinks I'm too decent for someone in USA - lol. (I don't have the courage to wear swim suits)lol
and my sleeveless shirt was actually choking me at my neck cause the collar was sooo high - lol .. only the sleeves were short.
So Masti, why would you be concerned about someone like that? LOL. It was in the past, it's over and done with. It shouldn't have mattered then and it shouldn't matter now.
I agree with you... it should not matter, it was in the past... but it bothers me because we keep ourselves within boundaries ALL the time and MOST of the time - but it's that ONE time that you let go and wola!
Errm This topic .. i dunno why its debated all the time everywhere i go in every forum i see.
but this one place i came across and was reading apost by a Christian. so am gonna share it here; by a member ‘‘hcgirl4c’’
I’m a Christian who started head covering in my 20s, but I wish I could have started even earlier, because it is the best decision I’ve ever made. You should start wearing hijab when you feel called to do so for God. Head covering is a form of devotion to God, and so you shouldn’t do it out of pressure to conform or to do what others want you to do, or it loses it’s value and purpose. If you feel the need to cover for God, you should do so, and you’ll never regret it! As a Christian I definitely know that it is a hard decision to make **but the important thing to remember is that it isn’t for other people, it’s for God and your relationship with him! **(and who the hell should care what ppl say or do. your job is to do it, and if you dunt ofcorse ppl will raise objections)..why bring misery on your self when u know you can stop that)
and something which i also agree from this is k.. ‘‘A diamond, irrespective of its present state is a precious stone. A woman who doesn’t cover is like an unpolished Diamond…where as covered woman is like a polished diamond which is more valuable !..We all wish to acquire ways and means to increase our value, don’t we ?’’
and nw in particular i would wana bring ur attention to sowmthing which everyone should read is Hijab - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia and especially the sections Where its mentionedin the Qur’aan and Hadith. Cos am sure no one wants to go against the teachings of the Holy Prophet SAW and the Word of Allah Almighty. Put your hand up if anyone wants to?
from this you can also clearly line out something which i hear alot k pardah is in ur heart .. well this concept truely doesnt exist .
I dress conservative just the way she does except for the hijab part.
Last time we went out together for the first time, it felt very odd.
It seemed that everyone was looking at her and THEN looking at me as if I should be ashamed (you can sort out Paki eyes easily in shopping area).
what to do?
I never felt that odd before. My friend does NOT wear hijab when we are just girls, so I don't feel so odd cause I know her - and she is just as mastiful).
