As I’ve said earlier, I’ve seen a variety of hijabis and non-hijabis, lol.
There was the hijabi woman that I worked with several years ago. She knew that I didn’t do hijab and we got along well. Met her a couple of years later. We were sitting across from each other…eating lunch…talking. One of her hijabi friends was also with us. Things were going fine. And then SUDDENLY…my hijabi friend and HER hijabi friend start talking about…hijab. And they say, “Non-hijabis will go to hell.” It was as if I didn’t exist to them…as if they were oblivious to the fact that I was even at the table having lunch with them. Only a few minutes ago, we were all talking to each other…and BOOM such a comment. Feeling awkward…I get up and leave without saying a word.
A couple of days later, I approach these two women to clarify/explain the reason behind my abrupt departure from the table. And one of them says to me, “Oh we figured that our comments/conversation was probably the reason you left the table.” Anyhow…I let the matter go and we went back to speaking terms. But now that I look back over the incident…I think it’s odd that they didn’t take the FIRST STEP to come talk to me if the already KNEW why I had left the table. Instead…it was ME …who took the first step and confronted them although I was the hurt party.
Hijab is not the be-all end all of salvation. Other things such as character are EVEN MORE important. There’s the hadith where the Prophet SAWS said that a woman who practices Islam’s rules and obligations will go to hell for not treating people with respect. And a woman who may not be so punctual or regular with the practices but treats people with kindness and respect will go to Jannah.
We get so caught up in judging one another. I gave above the example of hijabi women who behaved without tact. I’ve seen hijabi women who assume that those who don’t do hijab are “not religious enough OR devoid of religion” …how silly of them to “measure” one’s iman or faith or level of religiousness based on a piece of cloth. There are also maulvis in Pakistan who sport long beards and MOLEST the children. Allah looks at our deeds and our HEARTS. Appearances can BELIE .
One of my closest friends is a hijabi…and I know other hijabans that are very nice, MashaAllah. People don’t base their assumptions on “research”…they base them on experiences. Only, we forget that we haven’t had experience with EVERY SINGLE member of a group. You can’t say that all hijabis are judgmental because you haven’t met EVERY SINGLE hijabi in the world.
Let’s face it (hijabis and non-hijabis…beard sporters…and the clean-shaven)…we’re ALL hypocritical to some extent or the other…we all struggle with following every rule…we ALL make contradictions and mistakes/sins. Do your best…look at your own mistakes before pointing fingers at various groups…and leave the judgment to Allah because it’s a very complicated thing.
If hijabis were not known to be so judgemental, then where do all these stories come from. You know how common it is to hear these types of stories from people? And I honestly don’t even know very many hijabis who behave like this, but even my hijabi friends will tell stories like this. I may not know many of these sorts of girls, honestly, but if even THEY tell me stories like this, I really wonder how many hijabis out there are really serious about their religion.