Alright girls spent 56 minutes and dhs. 112, before posting here and getting advice! My MIL-to-be called and asked me to bring my jewellery sets (i’m leaving for Karachi on the 25th) so that she can have matching “teeka’s” made with the sets. The issue is I KNOW I won’t be wearing “teeka’s” once the wedding is over.. no matter what the occassion is!
Next I suggested, that if she MUST make me the “teeka’s” to make them artificial.. and she doesn’t agree to that either. I know for a fact that the “jhoomar & teeka” will never be worn again. Erm.. how do I convince her it’s a waste of money!?
I agreed to the set (posted in Victorian Style Jewellery) I even know I won’t be wearing the heavy anklets, bazuband, jhoomar, tikka and whatever else it comes with! Help!
If push comes to shove, can't you just get them made, and then after the wedding get them made into something you will wear? Its easy to recycle gold.
However, I would express your concern as to how much of waste it is considering you will not wear them afterwards. Gold doesnt grow and trees and neither does money. The price of gold is rising considerably and it seems a shame to waste all that money.
They're actually uncut diamonds, kundan and stones/polki and since she's gotten them from designers they're pretty expensive.. and I really don't think I can change them into anything else once they're made =(
Goodness. You'l have to be a little bit assertive with her then. But do the whole samajdaar thing, go with the whole ' I dont want to waste your money' route.
After wedding you can get it exchanged for something else. Don't get the teeka jhoomar made from the designer, just take them to some non designer jewelry shop and show them the design.
Lusi that's exactly what i've been telling her..and she says "copies are never as good as the real stuff beta.. just bring them" I shall try again tomorrow.. sigh Lusi those pieces can't be transformed into anything else.. I know =( I don't want 4-5 teeka's lying around in my locker! I don't even want a real jhoomar/teeka for the baraat.
awww.... i would say koi baath nahi.. unka armaan hai... let her do it.. maybe she has looked forward to this day for a long time.. and just like you have dreamt that u will do this and that at ure wedding.. so has she :) you may be spending money on what others may find silly.. but its dear to ure heart... i think thats the case for her too... so i would say, let her do it and feel happy that she is putting so much sincere thought into giving u the real deal and not fake crap :)
gina…some costume jewelry looks great…i am not sure how it would appear in pictures..
you can have the tika converted into a pendent..not sure about the jhoomer..you ll be wearing it for barat only right?? if you are..then try having the jewelers make it plated with gold..that would be your best option…
bazuband (can be made into a chokar)..pazebs…i would do them gold plated…
^But her MIL will be crushed, if she doesn't wear them. so whats worse? saying no now or having them made and not wear them......:(
no she doesnt mind wearing them for the wedding.. she just doesnt wanna wear them afterwards.. and its for the wedding that i think, her mil wants to have them made.. i dont think her mil expects her to parade around with them on after the wedding at home :D
yes but for your olders to be doing this it must be tradition right? our olders just wanna throw tons of gold our way,,then who are we to complain its free after all :D....and any way gold is gold it doesnt loose value.
**Exactly my problem... Even the poeple like me could never wear HEAVY bridal sets ever again... I told my mom to purchase that silver gold plated bridal set for me, and tell my SIL the same, which she plainly refused... Then I told my mom to make tikka (I want SMALL tikka and BIGGGG jhoomar) we went to the jeweller, and now I'm having gold tikka and artificial jhoomar, EXACTLY of the same design as of my set, no one could say it's artificial...
Another problem, I wanted to have walima set not AS BIG as wedding day, unable to convince my SIL yet (she's like "mera aik hi bahi ha, mien tu karoungi.. and my mom is like let them do whatever they want)...
I mean what would I do of 5 tikkas (one engagement + 1 nikkah + 1 barat+ 1 walima + 1 have one other)???????
The option I have in my mind is, like I gave my engagement tikka to my SIL, and ask her to make another earing out of the same design, at leas I can use it!
**
i dont think her mil expects her to parade around with them on after the wedding at home :D
haha that would be hilarious. But i guess u need at least the teeka to be a desi bride Gina!:p
@ Tashfeen: that really great to get the jhoomar artificial. But did you get it done at the (gold)jeweller? I dont know much, but i didnt know that was possible these days. its great if so!
Gina, if you are not assertive enough and end up going along with her, letting her make teekas with multiple sets, then guess what,
You WILL have to wear them after the wedding!!!
atleast for occasions that your mother in law is going to be present at....she's not getting them made for nothing... like for dawats and for other family weddings she would expect you to wear the tikkas with the sets, when you get all dressed up....
and I don't know about others, but I only really felt comfortable with tika and jhoomer on wedding and walima day.... after that, no matter how big the ocassion is (e.g. like brothers wedding etc, eid, anniversary what ever) I felt that it was a little silly to wear teeka again...i would feel really awkward wearing teeka now after the wedding (i think its a little too much) no matter how big the occasion is...
so if you are like me too...and can't stand to wear teekas again on family events weddings, then do something now!!! or else you will have to wear em! atleast to make your mother in law happy...
my mother in law made artificial jhoomer and teeka (matching) for the walima set... and for barat set, the jeweler loaned me the teeka (he made the offer of loaning on his own) which i returned after the wedding was over ...my dad was also pushing me a lot (he was a little angry) to buy the teeka and was telling me just pay the jeweler after instead of returning the teeka (saying achi baat nahi hei esay karna, if we can afford u to have this matching teeka with ur set then why arent u keeping it, dont return used thing etc etc)... but I knew for sure I would never ever wear it again...so I just stuck with my decision to return it as a loan and didnt buy it.
as for other sets, no way, i would never want teekas with them...
and its going to be hard for you to exchange teekas for other jewellery later on... coz the way the desgins are now a days (they are not pure gold, but so much stone work inserted in it) the jewelers are gonna be all fussy about them and are not going to appraise them for much when u go to get them exchange... ofcourse when u are buying it they appraise it really highly, but exchaning it is another story
Gina what worries me is that IF they are made...you'll have to wear them at least once and if you are not the type of girl who likes to 'steal the thunder' at events...you're in touble! B/c if you don' wear it it'll be like...we made it and she never wore it!
You are damned if you do and your are damned if you don't!
(sorry I know this isn't helpful but what I do suggest is that get them made since it's HER money...and then keep them for your children).
Gina, I remember you posted a thread about your very possessive fiance -- very assertive. That was you right? Then I guess it just runs is the family! lol... Now you know where he got it from.. Just go with the flow and let her do the things she wants.. At least it's not harming anyone.. its just her 'armaan'.. :)
