Re: Help!
He doesn't want to go some place far away in order to deal
with the trauma. He wants to get away from both you and
his parents in order to start fresh. At a new place, for a new
life with a new partner. A girl who wouldn't know jack about
him, his past or his family. You on the contrary seem to know
a lot more then he would have wished. As much as you hate
it you have to let him go simply because you can't force
love or committment down anyone's throat specially when
they hate the idea.
My question is that did you ever receive counselling after
the end of your first traumatic marriage? If you didn't
please do. Marriages and relationships are traumatic
as they are. When they break they become tragic and
you need to talk out the tragedy and destruction it has
caused within yourself before it becomes too much for you
to bear. Sadly you did make the same mistake twice. Always
remember it's not a sin by any means to get married but when
a man says he can break away from his parents what's to say
he can't break away from his spouse. The sad thing about
the whole 'desi' society is that at the time of marriage,
guys and girls seldom take
into account the fact that if a girl or guy can leave their
parents (with whom they have lifelong relationships) what
could possibly stop them from severing ties formed in a
heartbeat.
If you have decided to let him be, then by all means you
need to set him straight before you cut him loose. You
putting up a fight will only hinder him from treating another
girl like a toy down the road. Next time he'll think at least
twice before scandalizing some one else's life the way he
has yours. As for you son, he's better off without his dad
as well as this guy right now rather then thirty years down the
road. As painful as that may sound. Guys like this come
a dime a dozen. This faulty model is the most common in
muslim society and unforunately almost every family has
some relative near or far who's married to a jerk like him
and has suffered at his hands in the long run.