I am planning a grand party this weekend. About 10 people are invited. And its always fun to have a lot of people around and have night stays.. sort of it
But there is something that’s been bothering me and I felt to share it with my GS Family so that if any of you could suggest me the best.
There are 2 families (both are couples) are related to each other. Like two brothers and their wives. Both women are Devrani Jithani but they live separately too. Last time I invited both of them (we are actually close to the family A, we invited family B just because he is the brother to A and also you know, here when you don’t have a lot of relatives, its always good to make some friends and be social, so we thought to add one more family in our social circle). What I faced was, when Family B arrived, my friend who is actually A’s wife and Jethani to B, sat with B the entire time. Not only that, but they kept talking together and I felt a bit ignored Because they are Devrani Jithani to each other, their topics were even different and they kept on talking about their in-laws back at home (in Pak).
This time I really want to invite Family B with pure intentions but the only thing that I am worried about is, what if again they keep talking to each other and ignore others. I don’t say they are doing wrong, because what they are doing is quite natural.. Its just I am bit confused.
Not inviting Family B is totally up to me, and there will be no issue if I don’t invite them this time.. neither from my husband nor would Family A think bad about it… but I was wondering if I could invite them too if it is a grand party. Only the thought of being ignored is quite disturbing, whether to invite them or not??
Any suggestions??
Well, truly speaking, I would do that, I would make everyone involve but the Devrani is Pregnant and is in her third trimester, when I am in kitchen (which mostly I am when guests around), I can’t make her join me again and again… and Of course jithani would accompany her. So she would rather sit with her and give her time. So me bachi akeli… in the kitchen, because the 4th friend of us has a toddler too and most of the times, she is running behind the cutie naughty kid… even if she manages to be with me in the Kitchen, her kid would follow her and touch thousand things that he shouldn’t… you know kitchen is the place with the sharp knifes, Food processors and heavy utensils… he loves playing with Cabinets
sowwy (i think i count as an aunty too, aunty power <3)
Ah, the cry of the host. Balancing the work/socialising thing is always difficult.
I try to make sure that I am super organised in advance so that it cuts down on kitchen time during, and I don’t expect or encourage my guests to come help/keep me company - though it is certainly nice if they do.
You know the situation in advance, so decide accordingly. It’s up to you really - which is like the least helpful comment ever
Of course, the dishes that I am planning to cook are the ones, that I can prepare in advance too… So that’s what I am gonna do to save my time, but you know these mard hazraaat.. they request for things at eleventh hour.. Ab chaae bna do, achha ab coffee bna do, nahin nahin bhabhi main coffee nahin piyunga, thori meethi sawaiyyan ho jayen to maza ajayega… and then… haan haan dhoodh wali sawaiyyan.. jab jab aa ke betho, inko kuch na kuch darkaar hota hi hay… mere Hubby ke friends kaafi shauqeen mizaaj hain, phir bura lagta hay mna karna, especially unko jinki wives yahan nahin… ab wo becharay bhi kis se kahain
To bs jis din guests ho, khuah kitna bhi kaam advance main karlo.. kitchen ke chakkaro se waasta nahin choot-ta
A hostess’ job is to ensure that her guests are enjoying themselves, so the fact that your guests are enjoying each other’s company and not entertaining you is an issue because…?
Like el topo said, get your kitchen preps done in advance so you can sit with the ladies and then try and lead or at least participate in the conversation. As the hostess you set the tone for the evening - there is no compulsion to make sevaiyan for the men (tea and coffee is different) - don’t become a slave to the kitchen - that’s your choice.
This is very natural thing i suppose. However even i was thinking that you gonna write in the next lines that they did not talk to each other and the environment was ruined :). It does not matter at all if they talk, rather you can involve them with you. I move in a multi cultural circle and this happened to me several times that when Bangladeshis are around they would speak Bangla, initially I felt perturbed but then I thought if I had Pakistanis around I would talk to them oin my language thats too natural and specifically when you are abroad. However having patience while seeing them talking in Bangla helped me to understnd Bangla and now when they talk I do understand 40-50%.
Just let them talk and involve them by you prompting yourself. I believe you would have open kitchen n lounge as in West it is so its easy to socialize even if you are washing dishes or doing any kitchen work. DO invite family B , you are very right we are short of relatives abroad and need a good circle
Don’t really have an idea, maybe I failed to deliver my concern properly If you take cooking on request makes me a slave to the Kitchen, how can you justify Women involved in each other leaving me behind wont make feel like a slave? There is nothing about being slave to the kitchen when treating the guests. Secondly, the families are more like our own families than guests. I don’t consider them as guests. The circle we have is more of like a family. Even when I visit them, I make sure to help them as much as I can. And I think that’s more entertaining than being formal and sit aside. The only issue is that B is pregnant and in her last trimester and it wouldn’t be good too if I involve everyone with me and leave her aside. So the situation is quite complicated. There is nothing wrong and mean… its just the situation. Rest, I know well how to treat my guests and to be honest, all of them are most comfortable when we plan the party at “our” house.. they get really entertained and we have plenty of space for them to stay over-night, without their privacy being disturbed. The party won’t at all be formal… we are too close. All the men are friends to my husband from almost his Primary School.
Lol. yeah that’s what TLK mentioned. Quite surprised to know you managed among Bangladeshis. There is no doubt, you gone through more tough time than me. Yes, I have the open Kitchen. I think I will have to learn managing like that
Because they are Devrani Jithani to each other, their topics were even different and they kept on talking about their in-laws back at home (in Pak).
Aunty kisko bola?? 
even if she manages to be with me in the Kitchen, her kid would follow her and touch thousand things that he shouldn’t… you know kitchen is the place with the sharp knifes, Food processors and heavy utensils… he loves playing with Cabinets 