help please!

[Sara516]

Re: help please!

@Princess121

I typed up a whole reply and then lost it when I refreshed the page. But anyway here’s for round two..

Thankyou for showing concern I really appreciate it which is why I think I should reply. It may sound like a pathetic rant so I’m sorry in advance

He told me that the reason he approached me then was because his love for me was so strong that he couldn’t help himself.. even before that day I had noticed since arriving in pak for the past week that he liked me (female intuition).. but he has come to regret it because of the immaturity I’ve shown and apparently still do

He told me how when I tried to break up with him he wouldn’t be able to eat, sleep or study so he didnt do well in some univ exams.. He’d feel quite down and depressed and couldn’t understand my concerns (i’d come up with excuses as to why we shouldnt be together) and so he feels like he wasted his youth away

No he doesn’t work but he is actively looking for work.. He said how he felt a lot of pressure to provide a decent home and lifestyle for me.. so he turned down earlier career opportunities.. which he now regrets..

Oh my God, he was in love wiht a 14 year old?

he said you’ve been immature and how YOU ruined his life and his ruined his youth and turned down career opportunities because of you–making you feel guilty and responsible for everything.

@Princess121

Besides me working as a doctor, he’s fine with socialising or doing whatever I wana do He said he wasnt compeltely against the idea of me working.. but not as a doctor I think he’s open minded.. but his family.. I’m not so sure about

Let me tell you one thing, that will benefit you in the future. Any guy who has a serious problem with something that is so important to yoU (i.e. becomign a doctor), will have problems with everything else as well. When they say they dont care about other stuff–eventually they will, and they will try to stop you from doing all those things.

@Princess121

The problem is that although his univ life was in lahore, his family are based in a village.. and though I respect them there are certain issues that I find difficult to deal with. He told me that I wouldn’t have to live in a village.. but at this moment in time there is no other home.. I dislike how women are treated Little things bother me like how his sole sister works around the clock serving the family in housework.. Of course I admire her energy.. but I find it a problem when the males do absolutely nada even if they’re not working during the day..Right now me and my brother can stand side by side washing and drying dishes.. but there that would be considered the height of shame on me.. I don’t want my kids to be grown up in that environment.

But despite all this he was trying his best to make something of himself.. and provide the most luxurious lifestyle for me.. and I appreciate that..

You don’t have to apologize to that. You dont want to end up a slave in someone else’s house, you have every right to not want that for yourself.

@Princess121

I feel heartbroken. He was the only guy who could make me laugh in an instant. We would turn to each other for support whenever we felt down. Today, I broke down in tears and couldn’t help myself calling him.. but he hung up without answering the call.. I knew I shouldn’t have but it’s hard to move on The most frightening thing for me right now is yeh I’m young and I can spend another few years carefree.. but he’s older and has refused so many rishtas already for me.. what if he now accepts one of them..

I know its going to hurt so much right now…but you have to immerse yourself in other activities…i dont know how to advise you to get over a breakup but you can definitely get advice from others here.

You are lucky in that you’re still young and you can bounce back. You dont’ have to settle for this loser because you’re being pressured to marry b/c of age or whatever…I know you’re scared of what the future but inshallah everything will be alright.