Help me out? Marriage between First cousins.

[Paheli00]

Re: Help me out? Marriage between First cousins.

@AlmostGori

I confronted him about it, and he denied all of it, but asked me if I’d ever be okay to him having two wives, and I straight up said no.
I also am really insecure about the fact that he might get another wife, and I’ll be left  but I mean, as a person he is nice, and I guess he looks okay (not like the typical fobby pakistani guy)…

He has already pretty much told you that he will get a 2nd wife in the future. Whether its this other girl he’s supposedly seeing in Pakistan or not does not matter. If he finds a pretty girl who is willing to be his 2nd wife…he will marry her. Now its time for you to decide whether or not you’re ok with sharing your husband with another woman. Keep in mind that once he gets his green card in America, there is NOTHING that prevents him from divorcing you. So again…think about if you’re ok with taking that type of risk with your future.

@AlmostGori

Should I continue in the marriage process or crush my moms dreams of what her grandchildren will look like ?

Well, if this guy gets a 2nd wife after marrying you OR decides to divorce you…then YOU are the one living with the consequences…not your mother. What’s more important to you? If you think the risk of him marrying another woman or being a divorcee in the future is worth fulfilling this “dream” your mother has…then go for it. Only YOU can answer this question b/c you will be the one living with the consequences of your actions.

@AlmostGori

Btw, I finished college in May

You have a Bachelor’s degree?

@AlmostGori

I have no life other than a small designing course I’m taking cause I don’t want to get a job. Also, what about the whole cousins thing? Is that considered acceptable? I’m super americanized, and am closer with my Bosnian family so idk

1. Get a life! Seriously…get a life! If you already have a Bachelor’s degree…get a masters. Go volunteer somewhere. Get a hobby. You not having a life is clearly having a negative effect on your thinking, and this will end up causing you a lot of heartache in the future.

2. If you have no interest in ever working…then its STUPID to marrying a guy from Pakistan and import him here…especially if there is a rumor that he will divorce you afterwards. You want to not ever work? Then focus on looking very pretty, GET A LIFE so you can hold a interesting conversation, and find yourself a rich man here in the U.S. If the man you marry is rich (by U.S. standards), at least you can get enough $ to support yourself until you find a 2nd husband if he divorces you instead of having to crawl back to your parents b/c you can’t earn $ to pay the bills yourself.

3. If you’re “super americanized”…that would be another reason NOT to marry someone from Pakistan.

4. The cousin thing…again…this goes to show you lack of life experience/knowledge. This is allowed in Islam so from a religious perspective, there is nothing wrong with it. But there are many Muslim families (mine is one of them) where cousins are raised as brothers/sisters and the idea of marrying one cousin to another is not ever an option. So once again, this is something only YOU can decide. Pakistanis won’t think this is weird. But if your Bosnian or “American” friends find out you married your 1st cousin…the reaction you get may not be positive.