Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
even getting beaten 2-3 times in the whole time you spend there is still unacceptable. your SIL has no right to touch you.
you shouldn't have to say sorry to them and do all the housework. you aren't a servant. yes compromise and do your share but not all of it. why is your husband doing this with you? why is he so weak and scared of them?
why won't you move out with your husband?
even getting beaten 2-3 times in the whole time you spend there is still unacceptable. your SIL has no right to touch you.
you shouldn't have to say sorry to them and do all the housework. you aren't a servant. yes compromise and do your share but not all of it. why is your husband doing this with you? why is he so weak and scared of them?
why won't you move out with your husband?
My hubby is asking to wait for two months more he is saying that itna kuch bardasht kia hai rif 2 month aur bardasht karlo aur is chez nay mujhy rook dia hai us ko chor kay jany say mery pass omeed aur atibar k siwa kuch nahi hai...aur husband ki bayhad care aur muhabat bhara salook bhi nahi naazar andaz nahi kar sakti jabkah woh 2 month mang raha hai masla face karnay ka hai kah mai kesay bina dary in log ko face karoon aur baqi ka arsa guzar sakoon yahan aur sabit kar doon kah mai kamzoor ya sarvant nahi hoon
Sorry but batameez log hain waise. Isn't she married?
No she is not married she is getting married after eid
mere MIL ki nature ka andaza is baat say laga lain aur yeh kah woh mery ley kesa sochti hain kah last month mai buhat saqt bimar the and was admited in hospital and she was saying there to me that YOU ARE NO SUCH PREETY AS MY BOY IS AND I DONT THINK THAT YOU CAN STAND WITH HIM AND LOOK GOOD AGAINST HIM"
and the problem with me is im very sensitive and mere bardasht kar kar kah mai strong nahi hoi balkah mery asab kamzoor ho gay hain aab koi zoor say bolay dor say darwaza band ho ya achakank koi bulaey to mai dar jati hoon aur heart beat un control ho jati hai
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
do you really believe that in that 2 month wait, things will change for you?
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
Your husband doesnt' love you ... or has a really funny way of showing it. He would have gotten you out of there if he really did care about you. It's sad he stands by and allows this to happen. I highly doubt things will change after your SIL gets married.
mere MIL ki nature ka andaza is baat say laga lain aur yeh kah woh mery ley kesa sochti hain kah last month mai buhat saqt bimar the and was admited in hospital and she was saying there to me that YOU ARE NO SUCH PREETY AS MY BOY IS AND I DONT THINK THAT YOU CAN STAND WITH HIM AND LOOK GOOD AGAINST HIM"
and the problem with me is im very sensitive and mere bardasht kar kar kah mai strong nahi hoi balkah mery asab kamzoor ho gay hain aab koi zoor say bolay dor say darwaza band ho ya achakank koi bulaey to mai dar jati hoon aur heart beat un control ho jati hai
i know i ridiculed u in my previous post. main shoro se tumhari sari posts parh rehi hoon. sometimes there were confusions in ur posts. mujhay tum se humdardi hai but koi tumharay liay kia ker sakta hai Rida. ye zindagi humain khud jeeni hoti hai aur her dukh khud sehna hota hai. apnay maslay khud hul kero. loge tumhain advice ker saktay hain they cant change ur situation.
if u r soo weak n geting mentally stressed go get some medical help. talk to a therapist. join a gym. practice yoga inside ur room. relief this stress. if ur husband is taking this much stand k tum kaam nahi kero gee, maafi nahi mango gee tu u can also take a bold step n go out of the house. don't u hav any siblings that can take u to a doctor?
apnay probs k liay wazeefa bhi ker sakti ho. namaz-e-hajat parho, surah yaseen in morning, ayat-e-kareema whole time helps in bad times.
theres a wazeefa read Ya Wadodo 1000 times every friday n blow on sugar n salt that all ppl use. this brings love within ppl.
Rida may b u think its all their fault laikin kahin tum se koi galti hoi ho. jub nafrat itni barh jati hai tu koi reason hota hai. find that reason. kyoon itni nafrat hai unhain tum se? when u say u do n say nothing.
apnay husband se pocho ager tum kuch din dad k pass reh sako to fresh urself. ask him to come n stay thee with u. make an excuse to ur inlaws that dad is sick n needs u. etc
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
^ I agree.
Log yahan pe sirf apse baat karsakte hein Rida...isse zyada aur kya karsakte hein? I dont understand how to help you because if someone treated me the way they treated you...I would give something called a "moon tor javab".
Tum samaj nahin rahi ho ke agar tumne abhi kuch nahin kiya to kabhi kuch nahin hoga. Abhi utho aur us ghar ka nakhsha badlo. Batao ke tum ghar ki BAHU ho aur koi kaam vali nahin. Tumhari apni marzi, pasand aur napasand hogi aur beech mein bolney valey ki tum aisi ki taisi kardogi. Yaad rakho, tum kisi din maa banogi aur agar tumharey bachon ne ye sab hote huwe dekha to VO BHI tumhari izzat nahin karenge. Ek din aisa ayega jab tumhara shauhar bhi tumhari beizzati karega. Allah na karey. Lekin agar tumne rona dhona band nahin kiya aur apne payron pe khari nahin huwein to jo ab horaha hai usse kahin zyada hoga agey jakey.
Ye sab tumhare haat mein hai. Koi tumhari madad ke liye nahin araha hai. Koi aur nahin hai...sirft tum ho aur himmat bhi sirf tumhe karni hogi. Apni saas ka muqabla karo aur datt ke karo.
One more thing you might want to think about: fear is mental. You're scared of your inlaws...why? Kyun ke they treat you badly, put you down, have beaten you, hate you, etc. If they treat you badly, does it mean you're a bad person and deserve it? No. If they put you down and make you feel bad, does it mean you're not good looking? Nope. If they hate you, does it mean you deserve to be hated? Nahin. Its all in your head woman, once you realize that...you will be fine. Koi tumhari taraf dekhe to tum ghoor ke dekho aur boldo ke abhi bulati hoon muhalley valon ko agar kisi ne meri taraf aank uthake bhi dekha. Koi marey to apne aap ko bachao aur jakey parosiyon ko batao ke ye log mere saat maar peet karte hein. Unko apne nishan dikhao aur jo miley usko batao takey baat tumhare upar na aye baad mein. Apne susraal valon ke doston se pyar se milo aur apna humdard banao. Aur aista aista unko bhi batao.
If you want to stay with your husband you need to stand up. Otherwise here is what will happen: they will fight with you so much you will have to leave your home and separate from your husband. While you are gone, they will brainwash your husband into thinking you're a bad wife and that will be the end of your marriage...Khudana Khwasta. Agar apna ghar banana hai to laro...varna intizar mat karo...apne abbu ke ghar abhi chali jao.
Your husband doesnt' love you ... or has a really funny way of showing it. He would have gotten you out of there if he really did care about you. It's sad he stands by and allows this to happen. I highly doubt things will change after your SIL gets married.
^ The bottom-line..
^ I agree.
Log yahan pe sirf apse baat karsakte hein Rida...isse zyada aur kya karsakte hein? I dont understand how to help you because if someone treated me the way they treated you...I would give something called a "moon tor javab".
Tum samaj nahin rahi ho ke agar tumne abhi kuch nahin kiya to kabhi kuch nahin hoga. Abhi utho aur us ghar ka nakhsha badlo. Batao ke tum ghar ki BAHU ho aur koi kaam vali nahin. Tumhari apni marzi, pasand aur napasand hogi aur beech mein bolney valey ki tum aisi ki taisi kardogi. Yaad rakho, tum kisi din maa banogi aur agar tumharey bachon ne ye sab hote huwe dekha to VO BHI tumhari izzat nahin karenge. Ek din aisa ayega jab tumhara shauhar bhi tumhari beizzati karega. Allah na karey. Lekin agar tumne rona dhona band nahin kiya aur apne payron pe khari nahin huwein to jo ab horaha hai usse kahin zyada hoga agey jakey.
Ye sab tumhare haat mein hai. Koi tumhari madad ke liye nahin araha hai. Koi aur nahin hai...sirft tum ho aur himmat bhi sirf tumhe karni hogi. Apni saas ka muqabla karo aur datt ke karo.
One more thing you might want to think about: fear is mental. You're scared of your inlaws...why? Kyun ke they treat you badly, put you down, have beaten you, hate you, etc. If they treat you badly, does it mean you're a bad person and deserve it? No. If they put you down and make you feel bad, does it mean you're not good looking? Nope. If they hate you, does it mean you deserve to be hated? Nahin. Its all in your head woman, once you realize that...you will be fine. Koi tumhari taraf dekhe to tum ghoor ke dekho aur boldo ke abhi bulati hoon muhalley valon ko agar kisi ne meri taraf aank uthake bhi dekha. Koi marey to apne aap ko bachao aur jakey parosiyon ko batao ke ye log mere saat maar peet karte hein. Unko apne nishan dikhao aur jo miley usko batao takey baat tumhare upar na aye baad mein. Apne susraal valon ke doston se pyar se milo aur apna humdard banao. Aur aista aista unko bhi batao.
If you want to stay with your husband you need to stand up. Otherwise here is what will happen: they will fight with you so much you will have to leave your home and separate from your husband. While you are gone, they will brainwash your husband into thinking you're a bad wife and that will be the end of your marriage...Khudana Khwasta. Agar apna ghar banana hai to laro...varna intizar mat karo...apne abbu ke ghar abhi chali jao.
Nbi pak ka bhi farman hai kah mashwara karo even agar koi as pass na ho to dewaroon say mashwara karo yahan mera is thread mai likhny ka maqsad hamdardi hasil karna nahi hai balkah I need motivation , sharing and advices and mai apna dil halka hota mehsoos karte hoon yahan likh kar even aap ki is advice pay is time mujhy kafe motivation mili hai abhi mujhy kisi nay advice kia tha kah TUM JHUK JAO AUR IS TARHAN TUM CHOTI NAHI HOJAO G BALKAH CHEEZAIN BEHTAR AUR ZINDAGI ASAN HO JAEY G .. aur mai yeh soch rahe the kah kab tak kab tak mai hi jhukoon ?? saab yehi kahty hain kah BAHU ko ya awrat ko hi jhukna parta hai per jaab us ka dil gir gir kay aur khod ko khatam kar k mar jaey to esay jeenay ka kia faeda kia 10 saal baad yeh loog mere sacrifice ko manain gay nahi.. agar mujhy khud gharzi dekhnai hoti to mai shadi k 3 mah baad any munh pay parnay waly jootay kay baad hi na chali jati mai nay saab bardasht kia aur insult karnayt waloon say bhi hans kay baat ki per aaj 2 saal baad bhi wahan hi khari hoon is ley mujhy aab usi angle say dekhna hoga jesa aap nay bataya hai kah STAND UP AND FIGHT .. aaj tak jo mai nay kia woh mera point of view tha aik dari hoi kamzoor aur tanha awrat ka per aab mai bold aur samjhdar warat kay point of view sayt chalna chahoon g chaey woh mera na ho per powerful ho
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
Nahin Rida i don't agree here. tum un se larr ker nahin reh saktin na tum akailay itnay logon ka muqabala ker sakti ho. so no u cannot Stand up n fight. haan u can minimize things by either moving out or ignoring them. Apnay kaam se kaam rekho, sub se normal baat kero aur perwa na kero. jub daikho unnecessary interference ho rehi hai tu saf mana ker do k Aap plz is mamlay main na bolain. jub kamzore bahu ziada akar dikhaaiy tu aisay loge aur bhi khatarnaak ho jatay hain. So if u want to take stand n fight convince ur hubby to move out. thats the only solution.
yes the problem I am facing is more bigger but first of all I would like to write some background here
I did love marriage and as a husband trust me my hubby is very loving beside that problem I discussed before
My in laws are totally illiterate and wild my sister in law beat me 2 times in these last 2 years (my husband protest against her behave ) she is elder them him and engaged and two more younger sisters who are really BADTAMIZ
I have only an old father behind and 2 elder married sisters no brother
My husband favor me he never believe on her mother and sister and say clearly that He don't believe them and My wife is in trouble because of you ppl The problem is that we are not in the position to be separate due to social pressure as my husband bit scared of his DAM father and the biggest reason is that ppl will say about him that "BIWI K LEY JAWAN UN MARRIED BEHNOO KO AUR MAA KO CHOR DIA" He is suffering too with me even when ever I tried to go to my fathers house and leaving him (which actually my in laws want ) he became worried and even cried some times Now the question is what should I do against the WORST EST behave of in laws in hoo nay tany day k aur galiyan even day kar mujhy takleef mai dala hoa hai I am not a strong women I came scared when ever in laws shout at me or somthing else Now plz guide me what should I do to live respectably and happy I will again say my husband is full supporting me caring me but I have to face them when he is out for work and I want to prove that I am not WEAK which actually I am :( I cant live without my hubby I cant leave my place
It seems that your husband loves you but at the same time he is unable to stand up to his family. You find it difficult to live with his family. The way out of this situation would be for you and your husband to move out. If this is not possible as you suggest then either you could move to your parents but then you say that you cannot live without your husband so the only option left is for you to be able to live with your in-laws. This requires more patience on your part and if you cannot change them then more compromise on your side.