HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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My mother passed away when i was a kid, I am the eldest, rest of my siblings are settled abroad.They are not very helpful and busy in their own lives.
Father is busy with step mother.( We dot get along and she is not taking any part in my weddding.
At the moment i live alone with my father.He is not very social and pretty old himself.
I have no Khala Aunt of phoopi etc Basically no mother figure to help me in my wedding.
So far i haev managed all my shopping and other arrangments.
I have no clue how to and wht to give the Dulha walas
I still havent even met my husband to be nor his family…
Only spoken to them over the phone.
They are coming to see me…
I am scared.(
Any Sister to please give me some advise? I am really nervous now…

How will i alone manage everything? I go all alone to bazars etc
n inow i haev to face inlaws i dont know wht to talk how to dress ,
How to please them?

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Aaaaaaaaaw, honey, I really feel for you :( Couldn't you call all the family together for a meeting and explain how you need their support at such a big time in your life?

What worries me though is how you've not even met your in-laws and husband (to-be)- it's SO important to get to asmuchas you can about someone and their family before you even consider them as a potential husband (or wife).

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

All failing, I'd recommend a VERY small nikkah/wedding were the catering/management is left to an event organiser and all you and your family do is turn up.

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Dress modestly and BE yourself with the in-laws. As it's typically a no-no for the girl to ask, brief your dad on questions you want to know the answers to. x

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Just act normal and polite infront of them you don’t have to please them in any special way offcourse may be you have to serve them some more than you serve your normal guests but just be polite thats it . They should be understanding enough.

I am not very comfortable with the fact that you have never either met your gonna be husband or inlaws.

You will just have to do both days of groom’s outfit (if they are doing your both days) this should be disused by your father with them. Shaadi day can be sherwani and valima can be formal coat & pant. you can give either 5 / 7 or 11 outfits for the groom including both days outfits. A watch for the wedding day that your father can put on his hand once he brings the barat and will sit on the stage. You can add as many things as you want like shaving kit , cologne , set of hanky etc. Just give one one pair of shoes for both days i.e. shaadi and valima.

You dont have enough posts but you can PM if you want I’ll do whatever possible to help you out!

Just don’t be scared everything will work out fine. :hugz:

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Thankyou so much for your honest and kind advise ....I am tensed because family is not here for me...n at a time like this i miss my mother....things have changed ppl change ....i wish i got to be papered like a bride too, i have been seating runing around for every little detail so far...
n its in 1st week of june....but the parents r flying from lhr to see me ....also i am overweight n not a typical skinny model type...that is making me more nervous being judged and criticized ....My father will get furious with me not them if anythg gets messed up...
I have been dying to hear some comforting words instead of the same bitter ones...
i have 2 friends..unfortunately they are also abroad at the moment..plus they are gorgeous fair n pretty....sittin with me n gettin me into the room at moon dikhaai wod further shadow me wont it?
I feel insecure and miserable..

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Thankyou Daimond jee,
I have collected items for the groom so far...n also watches that my mother kept for us..
Abt clothes The in las had so much time..but they didnt even offer...
So i have been making my own since jan..its almost somplete...
n now lately they mentioned that whn they com this week then she will get my naap n size( ill die of embaressment) n then get a jora made...franky i dont want waste any more mone on clothes....i already did it...i know how hard it is the running aound to kaam waalas n markets n tailor n no electrcity...I asked for her help..beofre but she didnt sseem too eager back then...n now that my stuff is ready they said thy will pay for 1 dress..
Well n the hubby to be wants to buy his own suits he does not want to wear sherwani..
Ofcoure my dad will pay thehm whn he meets i guess...
I dont know wht

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Girl have confidence in yourself !

if you think they criticise you because you are not skinny then I honestly believe they don't deserve you. It's better not to end up marrying in such a family who have such low thinking. Why do you think your friends are better looking than you ? You are underestimating yourself , you will only look good if you have confidence , love your self , be proud of yourself.

You father will not get angry at you. He must be knowing how much burden you already have !

Just think of it in this way that your mother is watching you and she is praying for you and Insha Allah everything will go well.

Just to make you comfortable I will advise to pray a manat in your heart, that is , if Insha Allah everything go well I will pray 2 nafals of shukrana and I will give certain amount in charity. Leave everything in God's hand He knows you need him and let him know you need him. Make dua and have confidence in yourself.

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Thankyou so much once again..this was most gengerous and honest of you....Inshallah i will make prayers n manat....

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

No. Everyone is different. Being **fair skinned **doesnt mean your pretty.
Confidence is everything. If you look like your insecure about yourself it will show. So dont be. Be confident. Be happy, And try not to be nervous (i know easier said than done) Im sure you have a good personality so that will shine thru. Dress nicely, Be polite. Have lots of smiles for your mother and father inlaw.
Dont stress too much about the wedding, Try to get to know your husband before you panic about little details.
Do you not have a neighbour you could ask advice from? Im sure theres some friendly people there?
Remember to be confident and it doesnt matter if your not fair, After all you are pakistani right? Your not *meant *to be fair. Fair doesnt mean beautiful!!!!

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Don't feel insecure. Dress nice, make pretty hair, makeup. You'll look pretty. Like everyone said, be yourself. Do the preps in advance ex. setting the table, making sure food is all heated and good so you don't have to worry about anything once the guy's family is there. Just focus on yourself more I would say. This is a crucial time for you and of course everyone will be looking at you. Be confident ... guys like that.

Don't worry about who is there who is not for you. Try clothes and makeup you'll wear that day to see if its all good. Don't think you can't look pretty. YOU CAN. Make sure you get facial or spa treatments, nails are pretty (hand feet), a haircut to compliment your face etc. If you are worried about your weight you can wear darker color.. Just focus on yourself. There are sooooooooooo many style of clothing to choose from in Pakistan. The long shirt types.. try few things :)

Its your life, if you really like this guy you make it happen. Don't worry about father or stepmother or anyone.

As for the wedding preps, IA once this stage is over with, report back. It'll be fun to help you out with things. This place is full of ideas.

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Lady we have got you covered when it comes to all shaadi details. So no worries. From what to wear to what to give to inlaws to what are the culture norm traditions.

But first you need to get through the first meeting of your inlaws. It all depends on how conservative your dad is and if he wants you sitting with them the entire time or what. You should dress classy not too heavy and something you feel very comfortable in. Be yourself when talking to them. iA, everything will be fine.

may I ask if you have sisters?

And where do you live?

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Arre, mujhe bula lo! I’ll be your baji #1! Sub theek ho jaye ga!

Here are some links that might help you in planning the gifts:

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/wedding/296494-grooms-eidi-what-get-ure-fiance-eid.html

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/wedding/337794-need-help-concerning-layna-dhaina.html

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/wedding/320601-gifts-laws.html

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Light keeps ging away...n im not getting a chance to thank each one of you for your love and support...I already feel blessed ...Its great to know nice ppl still exist..you guys are truely Angels....

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

hi,

It seems like you are a bit calmer now. This is what I would suggest, get some chai :), sit down and relax, and make a list of questions that we may be able to answer for you.

So, your most immediate problem is that they are coming to visit you for the first time. Focus on that first and ask any questions you may have. Like, how should I dress? How should I host their visit? Should I give anything to them? etc

Spiral's post was very helpful but we need to hear from you what is concerning you most about the upcoming meeting and then wedding.

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**

write down everything.. first ..

for example:

As soon as possible...

Decide the size of the wedding and number of functions
Allocate responsibilities between both the families
Draw up guest list
Visit possible venue(s) to discuss availability
Interview caterers and discuss sample menus
Order wedding invitation cards
Book a professional photographer and/or videographer
Choose a decorator and a floral theme for your wedding
Audition musicians / make music arrangements for the Sangeet
Start purchasing of your trousseau, wedding, and reception outfits
Speak to travel agents about honeymoon destinations
Plan your wedding budget, collect estimates for all professional services
Set dates for pre-wedding celebrations

Two to Three months to go...

Have all your bookings confirmed in writing
Invite Moulvi for the ceremony
Maintain good contacts with all your wedding professionals
Caterers, florists, musicians, etc.
Send out invitations for outstations
Choose wedding rings
Shop for tikka gifts
Keep a record of acceptances and refusals of invitation
Finalize your honeymoon plans, make sure passports and vacations are up-to-date and you have applied for all necessary visas
Book accommodations for out-of-town guests
Plan your menu and any special requirements with the caterers

One month to go...**

Be sure your wedding clothes are collected and ready-to-wear
Make appointments with hair-dresser and beautician
Organize Mehendi artist
Order mithai and related items
Finalize plans for the Sangeet
Book your hotel for your wedding night, if required.
Make sure that you and the groom have luggage for the honey moon, think what you want to pack
If required, book a horse and some musicians for the Barat's arrival
Book wedding cars

2 Weeks to go...

Arrange for all your dresses to be ironed and packed
Order relevant traveller's cheques or foreign currency, if needed

1 Week to go...

Confirm all bookings
Confirm final guest list
Confirm menu with caterers
Arrange for drinks to be delivered
Confirm arrangements for hired crockery, cutlery, glassware or table linen
Your wedding clothes should be ready, try on outfits
The day before the wedding...

Your florist should prepare and soak all flowers and have a detailed plan of action
Make sure wedding car is clean
Pack your honeymoon suitcase, ready for delivery to the reception. Make sure your fiancé has packed his
Visit the hair dressers and beauticians
Try to relax and have an early night

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

awww, hugs

I was in almost the same situation as you. My mom passed away when I was really young and I did everything myself for the wedding. Don't worry, everyone here will help you with that iA!

And you shouldn't be worrying about him not liking you. You should be thinking if you will like him! Just take the advice of the previous posts and be confident. Confidence itself is attractive! And the stuff that is in fashion nowadays is flattering for heavy figures too becoz the shirts are long and a little loose fitted. Just wear a color you know you look good in and wear something with just a little bit of work on it.

And just pray and make dua that whatever happens will happen for the best for you!

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

i hope ur inlaws and the husband to be turn up to be really nice people and u have a really happy future life , my mother wasn't there on my wedding but she was able to decide my proposal ,my younger sister diddnt got this chance even , i pray for all motherless daughters

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Wow.. I understand half the situation you are in because I am trying to arrange my wedding myself eventhough Alhamdolillah I have my supporting parents, I just don't to be a burden on them.

But, don't you have friends? who could go around for shopping with you? Well I would also advice the same as the smart ladies did above me... you need to be confident.. secondly, never blame yourself for anything that goes wrong.. consider it that Allah tala saved you from something that could have been pretty ugly and that he has something better in store with you.

As with in-laws.. I would recommend your father to do the talking with the parents.. but if he isn't than you probably can politely say that since yo mother has passed away and you have no elder figure.. you will be arranging the wedding and would appreciate cooperation from their side.

Inshallah, Inshallah.. you will be have a much better life with loads of family and loved ones close to you :)

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Re: HELP ASAP,I am all Alone managing my own weddign from scratch..

Salam...you guys are all so nice i dont even have words.....Thankyou..
Today i pushed my self and got waxing facials n polishing done...i have been starving myself lately to try to tuck in my tymmy as much as i can..I did try to talk to my father...Its not an easy job with him.....i am not as much as scared or woied abt wht the guy will say or think abt me...as much i am worried abt his parents visitingm e...actually his sisters aparently are gorgeous n better looking than katrina kaif as she once claimed....n evry time she calls him and ask him the same question...so tumhari honay wali motallo biwi patli hui abhi tak ke nahi?
This really spills water on all my hard work and effort and really hurts me...wht i dont get is...if her brother doesnt have a problem accepting an overweight/big size partner then why is she always making me feel like **** n that too by sayin it to his brother?
N I really haev alot of respect for his parents...i will try my best to make them happy...
I just pray on ki aankhon mein main khari utaroon?
They are arriving monday evenng n will stay for a day..
I have already cleaned n set the room n all...kept janamaz toiletteries and essentials
ready for them....
Basially i am too shy to ask ppl to come help me i am not use to it...n i dont want to burden any one ....i have also arrangedd for a picnic for them...just us ....apparently they r from lahore..n i am livin in khi these days n they are facinated abt the seaside n all....
So beach hut bbq n boating wht ever i cod manage so far...pray it goes all well...
I will get fruits tomorrow
n i got perfumes for MIL but i dont know wht to give to FIL
N i have gifts fr the Son as well...but he is nt in pakistan at the moment...so shoul i still give it to them or wait for him to come?
Flowers ets already arranged
Dinners n lunches at restraunts already done booking.....
Ek Aunt hai i took the courage to call her up n ask her if she can come for moral support...
Uff i felt so embarressed apni khud ke liye apni shaadi ki bat kehney pe..
anyhow...
I am so thankful to Allah taalah that i found u angels on this site...I was really broken untill ur replies lifted ny spirit...
PRay for me....NOw i have to some how prepare my antisocial father.....
wish me luck...n thanku once agian..ill update u asap..
xoxo