Re: Help an ABCD please
They move for the security and the opportunity to rake in the bucks but assume that their children would remain naik bholay bhalay like their "ideal" from Pakistan.
Re: Help an ABCD please
Well according to my parents, they moved here so I could take advantage of the educational opportunities. My mom always laments about how she wasn't allowed to go to medical school even though she really wanted but her family wouldn't let her go since it was co-ed. She's always like you're so lucky you have the opportunities you do and I am thankful for those opportunities. I just wish that she would realize how sad it makes me thinking about the friendships I could have made or the (appropriate) fun I could have had if I had a little bit more freedom.
Re: Help an ABCD please
So things are still not looking good guys. My mom talked to me today and understandibly she is still not very pleased with me. She's saying such sad things though and I feel awful. She told me she doesn't even know what to do with herself. She feels like everything she thought about me is wrong and that I'm a bad person. She keeps on asking me if I have a boyfriend over and over again. She said that she isn't going to get married now but she's going to wait until I'm 22 so that I wouldn't be her responsibility anymore. She also said how she told me all the time that I would never be forced to marry someone who I didn't want to and that everything would be done with my consent. She was like what else could you possibly want. I guess what's bothering me the most is that I don't see how I can regain her trust again. We had such a good relationship but I ruined everything. Ughh. I'm honestly not trying to gain sympathy because I know what I did was wrong, I just need a place to vent and I've found it lol.
Re: Help an ABCD please
Tell her that you do have a bf! ;)
Anyway, did you explain to her that you were going to wear the skirt with the legging? Only time will heal the relationship
Re: Help an ABCD please
Hinna, you're right to say that we have to be obedient to our parents, but you're generalizing too much in this situation, the issue is not about that, it's about how her life is so controlled by her parents and we can't be obedient to the point where we have no life anymore because parents think it's for our own best but it's not, she needs to talk with her parents, she has to speak her mind, share her point of view.
you see her mum told her that she's not the person she thought she was, ok my question : what kind of person did she expect her to be if they never let her do anything and controlled everything ? she doesn't have a person ! you tell a 2 year old not to throw his toys in the toilet, he's gonna do the exactly that !
i'm sure she wouldn't even have dared to wear the skirt, she just felt the need to do something unusual because she's tired of such a life and she says it herself.
anyways, OP, don't be too hard on yourself, your mum is way too overreacting, o cmon it's not like she found you making out with a guy. your parents are not that liberal but you have to make them and you need to gain their trust in the future so that they can feel you're mature enough to take your own decisions and they can rely on you for that. the only way you can that is to express yourself and tell them how you feel.
Rizla, you're absolutely right to say why do parents expect their kids to be all massoom when they come to western countries, yeah give good education blababla, but what's the point if as soon as the kids makes a mistake they're all like "oh let's get you married back in pakistan to teach you a lesson" ???
Re: Help an ABCD please
Damn, you messed up.
Re: Help an ABCD please
So things are still not looking good guys. My mom talked to me today and understandibly she is still not very pleased with me. She's saying such sad things though and I feel awful. She told me she doesn't even know what to do with herself. She feels like everything she thought about me is wrong and that I'm a bad person. She keeps on asking me if I have a boyfriend over and over again. She said that she isn't going to get married now but she's going to wait until I'm 22 so that I wouldn't be her responsibility anymore. She also said how she told me all the time that I would never be forced to marry someone who I didn't want to and that everything would be done with my consent. She was like what else could you possibly want. I guess what's bothering me the most is that I don't see how I can regain her trust again. We had such a good relationship but I ruined everything. Ughh. I'm honestly not trying to gain sympathy because I know what I did was wrong, I just need a place to vent and I've found it lol.
She's had a big blow. It's going to take a while for her to start trusting you. Try to be on your best behaviour like other people mentioned before. Be as open as you can and hopefully Insh'Allah with time, she will begin to trust you again.
Re: Help an ABCD please
Hey guys!
Just wanted to let you know that things have finally blown over and my mom isn't mad at me anymore. We're talking again and things are pretty much back to normal. I wanted to thank you guys one last time for all of your excellent advice and thoughtful responses :)
Re: Help an ABCD please
congrats :D
Re: Help an ABCD please
Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that things have finally blown over and my mom isn't mad at me anymore. We're talking again and things are pretty much back to normal. I wanted to thank you guys one last time for all of your excellent advice and thoughtful responses :)
Yayy I read this thread but never really anything, as everyone said everything i wanted to say.
But i thought i would let you know that my growing up was just like yours but I also moved away from home to study and trust me things changeee soo much so just keep a clean nose until then :)
Re: Help an ABCD please
Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that things have finally blown over and my mom isn't mad at me anymore. We're talking again and things are pretty much back to normal. I wanted to thank you guys one last time for all of your excellent advice and thoughtful responses :)
thanks God. Now you dont mess with your parents ever. never try to deviate from right path.
buzargon ji izzat man hi bhalaye aahi. :@: