How are you doing? Last time I was here, I was moaning n complaining about my in laws. That’s nothin new right?! I am now Allahhumdulillah a mom to my gorgeous daughter! Time flew so quick! But am really busy mum now
My in laws didn’t came during my delivery nor did they distribute mithais as they were bragging about during my pregnancy! I had an emergency C section and stayed in hospital for a week. During this period, no one from my in laws called to congratulate me and not my SIL either! However from my maternal side, literally everyone congratulated me by phone. Two weeks after my delivery, During our Skype session, my SIL gave a short dry congrats. My SIL is pregnant now! I mentioned this to my hubby, he said they congratulated him during the birth, which ofcourse I doubt it!
Ofcourse my parents did their part of celebration and all that! This was their first grandchild and my in laws didn’t do single thing. Let me rephrase again, first grandchild only their son (my hubby) could give them.
Ofcourse they’d like to interfere in my parenting skills by givin advice to use this brand of nappies or do this n that from Skype.
Anyhow long story short,my FIL is now visiting us for few months and we have short space. Ofcourse he’s living with us and lifestyle will be very cramped. We are planning to move to bigger home soon but that can’t be done in few days. He doesn’t respect my parents (another story). It really bugs me. What can I do to make his visit short in a polite way. Oh not to mention he’s planning to take me n my lil daughter back with him to Pk. Hubby doesn’t mind as he says back home they haven’t seen the baby! I don’t want to go alone and want to travel with my hubby later on.
It sounds thick but what can I do! I’m still miffed at their behaviour during the birth of my daughter! How can I make his stay short that he doesn’t like it here, in short manner and how I can avoid him overall. We just don’t click!
You can't and better not put up any such tamasha with your fil. Don't forget its not only your house but hour husbands too and your fil, being his dad, doesn't need your permission or willingness to stay there for no matter how long he wishes to. For whatever bugs you about their behaviour you need to convey it to your husband and find a solution!
How come your husband is ok with his side of family not wishing you on the birth of your child, their grandson?
Doi69, that's what m planning to do. Just keep myself busy with the kid n home.
Mamzie, like I said my husband said they congratulated him during the birth. But during his stay with me in hosp, I've never seen his family call. Ofcourse he has to call them but not them. I should b congratulated since m in hospital n gave birth. SIL thinks very high of herself not just her but FIL n MIL too!
Ameen! I m planning to go to my parents too but I just want to make his stay short. I don't have baby passport done either nor her NICOP! Do you reckon this can be done within a month? My other hope is my baby passport delay, if it gets delayed during his stay that means I'm not going with him!
Pray to Allah swt for help. I would rather suggest to do try doing things the other way. Think about what would make your husband happy , your rude behavior or your politeness towards his father? As you mentioned above that he does not respect your parents, well then this is your chance to teach him how to respect in laws. Treat your father in law as you would want your husband to treat your father. And I'm sure he will appreciate your effort and attempt to improve your relationships. You should also have a conversation with your husband and get his support during your father in laws visit. And even i wouldn't want to travel alone with my child to Pakistan without husband. You should definitely take the trip together . And Congrats :)
I'd be very open about not being comfortable travelling with a newborn baby without your husband with you. You've never done it before and don't want to risk anything. Stick to your guns...no one can force you.
You can avoid him a bit...keep conversations short, polite, simple and stay busy with your baby. Go to your parents. Go socialize if you can.
You cannot really make his visit short...other than telling him to plain old leave. So just bear with him.
Pray to Allah swt for help. I would rather suggest to do try doing things the other way. Think about what would make your husband happy , your rude behavior or your politeness towards his father? As you mentioned above that he does not respect your parents, well then this is your chance to teach him how to respect in laws. Treat your father in law as you would want your husband to treat your father. And I'm sure he will appreciate your effort and attempt to improve your relationships. You should also have a conversation with your husband and get his support during your father in laws visit. And even i wouldn't want to travel alone with my child to Pakistan without husband. You should definitely take the trip together . And Congrats :)
Thanks! It's easy to say but am not saying I want to come across rude. Just want to see any other polite way of making his stay short. My hubby doesn't see the point of travelling alone as he says FIL is also family. But it's different for me :/
I'd be very open about not being comfortable travelling with a newborn baby without your husband with you. You've never done it before and don't want to risk anything. Stick to your guns...no one can force you.
You can avoid him a bit...keep conversations short, polite, simple and stay busy with your baby. Go to your parents. Go socialize if you can.
You cannot really make his visit short...other than telling him to plain old leave. So just bear with him.
Hmm I know! My baby is MA five months, still traveling alone without hubby is different. I want my hubby to see how his side welcomes the baby too! Going alone will create unnecessary tensions and dramas :/
, what happened to you?
ima shorten their stay next time around. 