Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D *happy thread*

Lifestyle Relationships
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Just randomly thinking about it. How is a life of a pakistani girl born/living abroad, different to that of a pakistani girl living in pakistan?

i am not taking about education, and complicated levels of haya, and how you can make roti better .. just .. what’s your life like? what do you like to do? what do you do for fun? where do you hang out? what kind of friends do you have? how do you celebrate eid? do you have a hobby? do you do any volunteering? how would you compare the little details of your life with your counterparts back home?

or perhaps when you visited pakistan .. what did you find different that you had to do? something that you liked, something that annoyed you?

How is your family life different? how are your family rules different? how much freedom do you have to do various things? whats your curfew time? :meeno:
whats special about your life that you would like to share with us today? :smiley:

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

I can think of one thing right off the top of my head: when i got married, my dad asked my opinion on the guy and what i said was the last word. Anyone i know in my family and inlaws in Pak, that is not the case. Girls are not even asked when finalizing the rishta.

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

Hmm, well thats really a lot to think about. I guess bc of my peculiar nature to notice things I noticed a lot of diff, ofcourse focused on the family i spent time with in paki.

One thing i really noticed was that pakistan is a country in which the youth really look up to the american culture for some strange reason. Everyone thinks that posing the american culture or being 'bad' is so cool. Which was really quite annoying in the youth crowd I would come across in markets and places.

As for my family, the cousins i stayed with are all sisters. So because of this they might be a bit different than others, but they had strict rules. Couldnt go out just because, always with their mom. I felt that entertainment was limited, so were the shops. Ironically, I think people here in america are definitely more rooted into cultural and religious values. I wear hijab and when i came to paki, i would get more stares out in public than i do here in america!

Where are you? Pakistan?

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

Yay to a happy thread! lol. :D

The biggest thing that comes to my mind (as far as difference) is that I always grew up surrounded by people of all different backgrounds, ethnicities, and religion. My parents taught us kids really well about our own religion and faith but encouraged us to make friends with GOOD PEOPLE. They taught us that good people come in all different races and religions and that these things are personal things. They themselves have a huge huge variety of friends and set a good example for us kids. I feel like our life was really enriched by this because we learned so much about different backgrounds, cultures, etc. :D It is an experience that my cousins in Pakistan never had and wish they did. Often, when my aunts and uncles hear about how helpful and supportive some of my parents friends are and they get shocked and are like wow.... we have never even heard of pakistanis being this way towards another pakistani... let alone a hindu or jew be this way towards a muslim. And my parents always say that its proof that good people exist regardless of background we should always give people a chance and not judge and stereotype.

I definitely have more freedom here as opposed to my counterparts in Pakistan... but I think it makes complete sense due to security reasons especially over there. I give props to my parents for not treating my sister and I any different than my brothers. We all had the same curfew and same rules. I grew up in an "Amreekan Pind" where there isn't any place to hang out or go... so people just hung out at their friends homes. Its the type of place where everyone knows everyone. My parents knew all of our friends well and knew their parents .... so it was never a big deal if we stayed "out" till past midnight. A quick phonecall to the friends parent and it was realized in two seconds that brownies were being made or the movie hadn't ended. My own parents keep an "open door policy" at our house. They encourage us to have friends over whenever we want. Through the decades it has become extremely normal for friends to drop by unannounced. My mom always jokes that at any given time there are between 5-8 kids in the house.

In our house I have never observed any kind of male and female separation as I notice more frequently in Pakistan and even when I go to other Pakistani homes here in America. When my parents friends come over, everyone socializes together...its not like the women are in another room and the men are in another room. Its the same with us kids. If my sister had a friend over, my brothers are still hanging out with us. When my brothers had friends over, we still hung out with them. It was just normal. We all grew up together and I think of my bro's friends as my siblings and they treat me as an older sister. They contact me on their own sometimes asking for advice and call me "baji" (even tho they are american goray or hindu or whatever. lol). :)

I guess we made a big effort to treat friends like family. Makes sense since we have no family here in America.

Ill answer more of your questions later Farrah :D

5

I’m not the best to answer this question, because girls my age are just … they’re just leading NORMAL lives. And I don’t. But I’ll try my best to give people some perspective. And you figure out how different it is.

**what do you like to do? **

Run on the beach
Go to the gym
Hang out with friends at a movie, or go to dinner WITHOUT fear of being mugged, or shot at
Go alone to the movies, to the mall, to another city, take a day trip somewhere, sit at a coffee house, etc - all without fear of being mugged or shot at
Read
Sew - old hobby which I’ve long since given up…after my college, grad school, and career just took OVER entirely
Sit on GS and have SOME REMOTE semblance of communication with other human beings outside of tending to people’s BS every day at work.
GS and BS. Hah, that rhymes…

Anyway.
**
what do you do for fun? where do you hang out?**

I don’t make grammatical nonsensical errors like asking the same question 3 different ways. See above.

what kind of friends do you have?

Ok, wait. I need to go laugh until my tummy hurts.

What kinds of friends are we talking about here? Childhood friends who don’t keep in touch with you apart from adding you onto facebook to enhance their friends’ list so they don’t look as loser-ish as they really are? College friends, who really only used you to copy your organic chemistry homework? Or you mean your crush’s sister who befriends you in some lab to copy off your frog dissection answers? Wait, I think I dissected a fish. Nevermind.

Or are you talking about friends you work with…who you know…will go out to happy hour with you and pretend like you’re their best friend, but they’re using you, or they’re trying to get in your pants, or they’re talking behind your back because they were actually born to be drama queens instead of WORK.

Or…

Well, you get my point.

how do you celebrate eid?

I’m one of the few folks who will work on Eid out of having no choice, really, in the matter. You will thank me some day, so don’t even start criticizing me on this. But, no. I haven’t celebrated Eid, truly, in a long time. I mean, I’ll have some cheesecake or sushi at work. You know. Spend an extra 2 dollars on my lunch. But that’s about it. I’m trying to remember the last time I went…can’t.

**do you have a hobby? **

You really do like asking the same questions again and again, don’t you. We don’t like that here in America.

**do you do any volunteering? **

Yes. Even now, I will build in time. Went to Haiti not too long ago. I do some local work as well. These days I’m bumming out before my bum is on fire come this summer. But yeah, generally, I do volunteering. Sometimes we kids get together and we’ll do something not related to our field at all, like I dunno, volunteering at a soup kitchen or something. But once a month or once every two months, something is going on around town that I go help out with. Mainly because it gives me an escape, a different perspective on things, some brownie points with God, and there is always the SLIM chance I might meet Mr. Perfect Pakistani. You know. Especially as you green-card hungry chics and your parents are swallowing these men whole, these days.

how would you compare the little details of your life with your counterparts back home?

  1. I have way more freedom. I don’t ask my parents for permission for anything. I work for my own living, pay my own rent, pay my own bills, wash my own car, pay for my own car. I do not have a driver, a maasi, a chaukidaar, or any other servant.

  2. I have more safety here. Which allows me to do more on my own too.

  3. I am more part of the political process. I volunteer for election times, etc. I used to even go to city hall meetings back in high school and college, and speak up about junk I wasn’t happy about.

  4. I am very connected with my faith. I KNOW more about it than the average Pakistani (including ignorant villagers). I’ve STUDIED it. I don’t buy every rumor I hear from some aunty about this or that they heard about Islam. I actually look it up and verify it. Something that is only recently become fashionable in Pakistan thanks to shows like Aalim-Online. Apparently, to get Pakistanis to do anything you gotta have a tv show on it.

  5. I am more cognizant of my body, and I keep it in shape. The past 5 months do not count as I have had a seriously unstable life. However, generally speaking, yeah, I work out. I eat right. I am not digging into ridiculously oily saalans. My purpose in life is NOT to cook and clean. But yeah, I take time to take care of my body.

or perhaps when you visited pakistan .. what did you find different that you had to do? something that you liked, something that annoyed you?

The whole covering up crap. That’s BS. I SHOULD NOT have to put on a dupatta when passing through a butchering market to pick up meat because the guys can’t stop staring and whistling. I SHOULD NOT have to cover up to avoid being grabbed at in Saddar while shopping for kapra. Not that covering up works anyway, they still grab.

I should NOT be held to a different standard than boys. In Pakistan, I am not allowed to play any sports with boys. Here, I will play volleyball or whatever with boys. I dont care. In Pakistan, people will raise eyebrows if you talk to a boy. I just spent a night out with THREE boys. All colleagues, all nice kids. If they were all Pakistani and this was Pakistan, then someone might have something to say about that.

I don’t need to worry about people’s gossiping BS, because all I need to do is stop hanging out with Pakistanis and hang out with other types of people. In Pakistan, guess what? You get turned off by Pakistanis, then you need to cross the border and become Indian. Pull an Adnan Sami.

**
How is your family life different? how are your family rules different?**

I do what I do when I want to do it, how I want to do it, without permission. I’m 27, and I make my own rules.
**

how much freedom do you have to do various things? whats your curfew time? **:meeno:

There is no curfew. It’s friggin 1 pm, and I’d like to be in bed now, as I have to be up at 6 am.

Good night.

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

Oh and a few other things.

  1. I am not materialistic. More out of majboori, than anything else. I dont have much time to shop, and when I do, its work clothes. I haven't had a fancy shalwaar kameez made in a long time, and I dont even know what's in fashion anymore with Pakistani clothes.

  2. I am not an airhead waiting for some Mr. to take care of me. I'm already taking care of myself. Not that I don't need a man. A girl's gotta take some rides sometimes on the love machine. But quite honestly, my goal in life is not "I have to get married". My goal is to do something useful for society, and for humanity, and something that makes me happy. I set out to do just that. I'm just really jaded now, that's all. My goal now in life is "Come home in one piece, don't have a heart attack by 40 (although that's not sounding too bad anymore), and just be able to afford some basic food and television (the necessities in life), and watch every 30Rock episode possible.

Oh how our goals change.

I don't care about "Oo, do I wear a sari, or a shalwaar kameez to that shaadi". I don't care "What is my neighbor going to say when she sees me walking home with a man?". I don't care that I may be talking to some white guy or black guy or yellow guy, and finding myself in love with him. It's all good baby. I don't care about my nailpolish or manicures. I don't care about growing long hair, because that is what good girls do.

I will NEVER hold a girls' hand. That's another thing that makes me very different from Pakistnai born girls. You ladies are too touchy feely.

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

PCG - You go girl!

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

Omg at that holding girl's hand thing! My cousin from Pakistan came to Dubai and we were outside at the mall and she grabbed my hand and held it while we were walking. I FELT SO DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE. I told her dude no holding hands! I am very sensitive about people touching me. No one even hugs me because they are afraid of me and what I will do lol.

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

As for the Original Poster's questions. Here goes.

What is my life like? It is damn busy. I am happy actually that it has gone damn busy. I don't like to sit idle, even though right now I am idle due to the fact that I have 11 days spring break from university. I have NO CURFEW. My parents trust me. I can go to sleep whenever I want, I can go out and come back whenever I want. However, I have a built in constraints and boundaries system which I adhere to in order to please my parents and myself. I know what my limits are. I don't test my parents trust and patience. It is not like I know they won't mind if I come back home at 4 AM in the morning so I will come home at that time, although I did do that once, cough. Anyway the reason I am writing this is because it is different than the people I have seen in Pakistan. Especially my cousins, and that also female cousins. They don't have liberties like me.

Even when I go to Pakistan, because my mum and dad trust me and everything I take the driver and go out shopping or to some place etc. However my cousins are not allowed. Then there is always this constant friction between me and my cousins parents because I ask them to allow my cousins to come with me. Then because of me they have to relax their rules for a bit for my cousins. I am not the one to sit at home and do nothing. I like to go out and do things. Be it in Dubai or Pakistan. This causes problems when I go to Pakistan. I am a free thinker and not bound by society's restrictions which I have found do occur in Pakistan.

**What do I like to do? **I like to do a lot of things actually. Writing is one of them. Photography is another. Singing is another. I am actually glad I am in Dubai actually. You know why? Photography is something which is okay to do in Dubai respectfully. No one will stare at a girl with a DSLR. Okay some people still do when I go out with my huge camera( Nikon D90 with a Sigma 70-300 mm lens is huge) but still it is not like in Pakistan when I went with my Nikon D60 and everyone was staring at me. The other thing is my parents are totally okay with my Photography passion and actually do endorse it and support me but if we were in Pakistan, even though my parents wouldn't have a problem, they would not allow me because of Khandan waley and peoples thinkings. Girls don't do this, don't do that. I have seen it myself. Like I said earlier, when I go to Pakistan, all my mamos etc are in a fix because they have to relax their rules for their kids because of me. I make them do different things which I am used to doing in Dubai, which is new to them. They are afraid of trying something new. Doing something different.

Apart from this the things that I am doing right now, I am positive I wouldn't be able to do in Lahore. I like to go to Emirates Road and go to 160 km/hr speed and take Light Painting photos. One hand on steering wheel, one hand on camera. I like to go to the cinema with my friends and watch movies. I like to go hang out at the mall. I like to go swim at the beach. I like to go to Wild Wadi water park. These are all things which are okay by my parents because we are living in Dubai. If we were in Pakistan, these things would have been not okay. Oh and my cousins are not allowed to do any of that.

Friends: I don't have a lot of Pakistani friends. My temperament does not match Pakistani people. Especially girls. They are too chalak for me. I don't have that typical Pakistani mentality. My friends are 90% Indians. 5% arabs etc, some goray and in a minority would be Pakistanis. Not to say I don't know a lot of Pakistanis. I do know Pakistanis. However, we are talking about "Friends" so in that there are not a lot of Pakistanis. I am happy being friends with people from different backgrounds and ethnicities. In Pakistan it is mostly JUST Pakistanis and that also the typical Pakistanis. Over here if I don't get along with a Pakistani I have the option of making friends with people from other nationalities too.

**Eid: **Eid is celebrated like it should be. I live in a Muslim country and Eid is a holiday here. Last time for barri Eid I got 1 week holidays because the National Day was in Eid days too. We go to Eid prayers in the morning and then the whole 3 days Eid is celebrated. It is a grand affair. New clothes for all 3 days. Shopping. Eidhi.

Hobbies: Doing awara gardi. Driving on the road with my windows open and loud music blasting. Oil painting. Swimming. Diving. Writing poetry. Photography. Graphic designing. Editing. Studying. Going out of Dubai for trips. Outdoors person. Taking boat trips.
**
Volunteering: *Yeh, like mother like daughter. I am always involved in things. A lot of things and sometimes my plate gets a bit too full.
*
As for the rest of the questions. **

Like I have been saying, I have a lot of freedom in Dubai. When I go to Lahore even though I can do things differently than my cousins, I still feel constrained. I feel like I am bound to my house and I cannot go anywhere. I cannot really drive in Pakistan. I am dependent on my cousins or mamos etc to take me to places and that also they are ALWAYS there with me. I don't like that. I don't like that feeling that someone is with me and watching my every move. I like to do things on my own. Compared to me and my sisters, my cousins are living such a strict life. However, like I am used to my life, they are used to theirs. To them their life in Pakistan is the best ever, and to me my life in Dubai is the best ever. You cannot really judge.

Oh and I cannot live without Burger King and it's fries. Call to end hunger. Burger King is something not available in Lahore and when I return back to Dubai, that is the first thing that I have. Stop at a petrol station and get a BK meal. Woot Woot.

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PCG, you sound like a cool lady, but I am wondering where the extreme dislike for Pakistani girls is coming from. Does that have something to do with whatever has you jaded?

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

I am visiting Pakiland right now. I am stuck at home these days and not liking it.

I have a lot more freedom than I do here, largely because my parent's aren't scared that there might be an explosion somewhere or that I don't know my way around. I live on my own there and have no curfew. I work to pay my rent and go to school. I do everything on my own. I don't ask my parents for money.

My life is very, very, very busy there. I do not have time for much. As opposed to what I have seen here. University is a piece of cake here. I have found most girls to be content with staying home and taking care of household chores. If any of them has any other passions, they are seen as rebels. But if they somehow manage to take on the responsibilities at home, they are well-liked.

My closest friends for the longest time have not been Pakistani. After getting to know many Pakistani girls, and realizing how big they are on drama, I let go of them all. I luckily met 2 Pakistani girls who are very different from the rest of the crowd there. We got along. I have a diverse group of friends.

Another thing that has been annoying me here is respect for people's time; people don't show up on time, make plans and forget, show up unannounced etc.

I find that my life there is extremely busy but very simple.

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

The jaded bit is not about Pakistani girls. I am jaded from work a d my goals aren't so lofty right now. Survival is key andd the main goal..
I'm so jaded that I should be walking to work now to get a head start and I'm still in bed. (ex)

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yea .. it’s probably true for the most part. my life has been soo different (well not in every aspect) than what people generally think of pakistani girls as. but probably because i never really had female friends .. or a group of female friends … i went to a girls-only school, and at any given time, i had one friend. and the one friend i had through highschool … it was just weird. in college i had male friends. my best friend is a boy too.
and the rishta thing .. it’s really crazy. at first i also thought that it would be like all these rishtas coming and parents telling me what to do … but when i grew up, i realised it’s not at all like that. i had to find one myself :meeno:

schools in pak have gone crazy. really. and i agree with this “bad” is cool things going on. i was recently looking at pictures of my sister’s friends, who had their farewell … wow :eek:
it’s also really funny how we come to really realise culture and religion. in pakistan rules are more strict as opposed to abroad. life of a girl is more “tiny and restrained” over there. girls abroad have way more freedom, as i read in the replies i’ve gotten. but religion/culture understanding is still more/better in girl abroad. :slight_smile: not meant as an offense, but an observation. like in saudia, girls arent allowed to go out without a male … and i cant see them do all those things like everybody else, but that place is “supposed” to be the epitome of religion and the religious ways.
well i’ve grown up in pakistan. spent my entire life there actually … but moved to netherlands almost 2 years ago for my study, and my boy (not pakistani) :smiley:

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this sounds very interesting. but i guess when you’re living in a smaller place, and know everyone around you, it’s possible to have such an interaction. not in a big city. but then again, such a mixed interaction would still not be possible in pakistan, in any city or village. but it’s fun to see beyond the obvious gender, and have a genuinely good time.
you’re lucky to have such a variety of people around you, and so many friends.
when i was in school … i remember once i asked my mom to take to my best friend’s house, cuz it was her birthday … i was i think 13 or 14 then … and she’s like … you just went last time .. :rolleyes: .. yea … so going over to a friend’s house was such a big issue always. once a year. on a birthday. friends never came to my house. hardly. perhaps i can count those events on the fingers of my one hand. and a sleep over was absolutely out of question. i started becoming rebellious in college … the maximum time i’ve stayed out is a whole night, came back the next morning, my parents picked me up. and this was one time. and all the other times that i’ve come home between 2300 and midnight, it’s always been an issue, and another fight. one time it became SUCH a big issue that … :hinna: … anyways …

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**dont be hating PCG, i was just trying to make a conversation here … whoever gets, whichever question. :smiley: **

this part is actually very interesting. and i want to know more. how common is it for girls to be living by themselves, and not with parents? and how do parents actually become ok with it? or is it an age after which they become ok? i always thought people aborad also live together (the immediate family). like it is also in the movies. i had a huge fight at home once. i told my dad, i’m moving out. i was studying and working at that time, and had the money to get a place for myself. i even went looking. but that didnt end too well.

this is true. this doesnt happen in pakistan. i dont know any boys even who go for such things. or if they even exist :hmmm:

you think so? :rotfl: i still dont see anyone looking and searching. what they hear on tc from the aalim is enough, and the word of God.

covering up to what extent? like a dupatta on your shoulder? i thought karachi was way more open that lahore, since it’s still more kindof people living there. and people (men) dont give a second look to short pants.

well thats just because the boys dont want that, they’ll have to play softer foor the girls :meeno:

this i’ve never seen :eek: … ive seen men do that. and THAT is really disgusting. men are more touchy touchy in pakistan.

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I don't have any problems with girls raised in pakistan. they don't know/realize that they are doing anything wrong. i have a problem with the aunties, uncles, media, etc that JUDGE the two lots and compare every little thing.

last time i went to pakistan...i had serious issues with the driver. i felt reallly bad for him cuz he was like incharge of EVERYTHING that needed to be done. on top of that i didn't know what to call him, like uncle? bhai? i legit once called him "sir" cuz i always heard him calling my uncles "sir" n i just wanted to show him some respect. soo anyways, i made my mom hire a driving instructor, and i learned how to drive in that crazy pakistani traffic. it gave me something to keep me busy for the two loong months we stayed and set a good example for all my cousins. and guess what? immediately after me, a cousin of mine (30 yrs old, had 2 kids already) who never felt the need to learn cuz "she's got drivers" took classes too! haha. n then i was just always incharge of driving ppl places and went shopping on my own, etc.

other than that...honestly we're all just humans tryin to live our lives the only way we know how. ya really can't blame the chalaak, self indulgent, paki girls cuz they don't know of any other way to be. and ya can't blame the 24 year old workaholic who's held a job since 16 and has forgotten how to enjoy her life n just pamper herself once in a while because she's too caught up with applications to law school, the next promotion at work, the rishtas that don't stop coming, the rent and credit card bills due in 3 days, etc etc. live n let live :)

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

well when i go to pakistan i have to have someone with me even when i go to the balcony. Yes the balcony. Being half white and the whole of my street knows me n my bro are mixed, We *have *to have someone with us at all times. Because you never know. Im not allowed to go to the bazaar anymore. Unless i wear the full burqa which in the weather we tend to go i just cba even going out my house. So basically you become a coach potatoe watching tv 24/7. Which i enjoy! Because i found a channel which had the latest bollywood films!! :D Which was GREAT!. But i love going to Lahore!! I love the shopping and the people that serve me know how to play me as in they can show me ANYTHING and ill buy it. hehe!!
However because im so used to my freedom, the clothes/going out when i like, not having to rely on someone else to buy me some junk food or what not. I can get it myself here.
Im not sure if other girls get freedom in pakistan,But i certainly dont, thats why i havnt gone since i turned 17. Im now 20. And its soo dangerous to go now, especially if they found out my mums white. Its just too dangerous atm. I love pakistan tho.
Obviously here in uk, I work, i have friends, i go out, I can stay out late, I can basically do what i like without thinking im gonna get 'kidnapped' Im free here. I can talk to a guy without people thinking im sleeping with him. You know *normal *things. :)

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Re: Hello Girls-Born-Abroad :D happy thread

I would say, for me personally, the best thing about living abroad is the friends from different cultures you make. I have had many white, black, sikh and indian friends, who i am mostly in touch with. you dont get that back home. my closest friend is a black girl and i cant really imagine my life without her.

oh one thing that annoys me about pak are the men. i hate the fact that you cant go out anywhere without being stared at.... annoys me soooooooooooooooo much. men do it here, the uk, but atleast we can confront them unlike pak wer u'll worry about being shot if u say anything to them..

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wow @ balcony part. and a full burqa? are you serious?
i took a whole batallion of white people (my husband and his family) to lahore this past january. we had to be alert and careful just in case. but we did go out EVERYWHERE. my neighbour back home ... it's a paki guy with a german wife and 3 mixed kids. they go about everywhere. a lot of their work is based in the inner city, and they go their a lot. the wife goes there alone. the eldest daughter also goes there alone. and they are pretty comfortable about it as they speak of it. so i dont really know how big an issue it is. it just feels to me when you're so far away from the actually fear, it just comes across as way more harsh. i am more scared of all the crap happening down in lahore now than when i was actually living there.

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what’s your life like?

Its busy, always busy and hectic. I have barely any time for sleep these days.

what do you like to do? what do you do for fun? where do you hang out?

I LOVE watching movies, shopping, reading for leisure, GS, working out, IMW, hanging out with my friends among other very normal things.

These days when I hang out its usually at a nice restaurant. I have this thing I do with my best friends every month: trying a new restaurant in Chicago. One thats been reviewed well and would make a nice evening for all of us. Its my stress relief. Good food, good people and great conversation. Cant ask for much more than that. I also like going to comedy clubs and spas.

what kind of friends do you have?

I have all types of friends, muslim and non-muslim. My parents never let me have any non-muslim friends as a child but as I grew up I started to realize they’re just normal people and my parents were just protecting me. I hang out with muslim friends more because Ive had them longer and they know me too well.

how do you celebrate eid?

Eid is celebrated by waking up early, my mom cooking some really really really good breakfast, us going to Eid namaz all dressed up, visiting and then going out for lunch. Then, we go home and change. Evening is usually bowling, movies or something else.

do you have a hobby?

I guess my hobby is reading…I havent had much time for hobbies lately.

do you do any volunteering?

Not much, I wish I did more. That is a goal of mine, to start devoting time/energy to a worthy cause.

**how would you compare the little details of your life with your counterparts back home? **

Easy, no one does anything there. There is a maid, naukar for everything. Here, I work like a dog and try my best to advance in my job as much as I can. There, I dont see much drive or motivation. Zindagi jaise chalrahi hai…chalne do. I dont know how people do that…have no reason to wake up at 6am…I was unemployed for a year and almost slipped into depression. I could never just stop working and stay home to twiddle my thumbs.

or perhaps when you visited pakistan .. what did you find different that you had to do? something that you liked, something that annoyed you?

I liked the superficial things there, clothes, jewelry, shoes, purses, etc. Would I trade my life here to live there? No. Women dont have the same basic freedoms there that we do here. I dont want to live like that. There is an entirely different culture there that is sooo caught up in materialistic possessions…I could only take it for a couple fo weeks. Thats it.

How is your family life different?

We are very straightforward people and I think it has to do with the culture here. There are no double entendres to deal with or chalaki unless we’re dealing with someone who just landed here. My parents are extremely simple people, no BS, no dikhava, no numaish, no pretending, nothing. Its not the case with so many people that come from Pak…they always have some sort of a hidden agenda…scary stuff.

how are your family rules different? how much freedom do you have to do various things? whats your curfew time? :meeno:

Family rules are simple: be home by dark. My parents dont really put many restrictions on us anymore because we really dont do much aside from work and hang out with our friends once in a blue moon. Growing up it was VERY different. We had no freedom AT ALL. No malls, no non-muslim friends, no life, no shopping (mom shopped for us), NOTHING was unsupervised. Of course, as a child I hated it. Now, Im grateful. We went to school and then came back home. That was it. My nani lived with us and she taught us Quran in the evenings and on the weekends how to cook (may Allah swt grant her Jannatul Firdaus, Ameen).

whats special about your life that you would like to share with us today?

Considering whats happening around us these days, I guess the most special thing about my life is that I have it and I live it in relative security. Alhumdulillah.