heart or mind?

Hmm :slight_smile: but see what if i tell him wait wait and i m conentrating on my studies only :slight_smile: so this is not an issue anymore.I don’t talk to him so much now..but what if he keeps on waiting and at the end everything goes wrong and he blame me ? Of keeping him waiting for too long. I sometimes feel i need to move on because it is not gonna work in future..At the same time i want to give him a chance to meet me n mom dad :frowning: ..m depressed about it..i m getting rude each day..i have no friends and i don’t talk to many people now..what if my family reject him and then it hurt me and him more?

Re: heart or mind?

Then don’t post it again and again?..

Okay you know what? Let’s look at your age now .. Alright you’re 18. In my world that’s not *so young *as everyone is making it sound, I was younger than you when I met my husband. That being said, your whole ‘love story’ just doesn’t have that solid a foundation IMO and you actually don’t really know if this is really the deal or not since you’ve not met the guy even once and you already know your family is not going to agree etc. so why waste time and energy on this? Hence everyone is suggesting you should focus on your studies. I don’t think they want you to feel bad.

Re: heart or mind?

You’ve been given a lot of good and sincere advice over multiple threads. You are young. There is no denying that. People who are elder and wiser than you, and have been through the same thing most likely are telling you that this is the time you need to concentrate on your studies and give up on what is most definitely just an infatuation, yet you continue to open thread after thread and blog after blog about “What should I do”


What are you wanting to hear that has not already been said?

Re: heart or mind?

Angri Arzi :eek: I’ll be damned.

Re: heart or mind?

I’m not angry :blush: Maine kya kiya hai? Aaj nazar nahin aye aap?

Re: heart or mind?

Some random guy you met on Facebook that lives in India?? Logistically, how are you going to have him meet your parents? You’ve never even met him yourself! :smack:

If this was some guy in the same city or country as yourself, you might have a fighting chance and the advice being given to you would be a little different. But from what you’ve described, there really doesn’t seem to be much a future there to plan for. Do yourself a favor and cut things off for good and move on.

<<loads of people have given you good advice and it can be summed up as follows: Concentrate on your studies and day to day life for now. Keep speaking to the gentleman if you like, but do not make him a priority or obsess over the situation>>

:o
I m concentrating on studies :slight_smile:

Re: heart or mind?

Honestly, that’s life. In terms of relationships (or anything else really), we do not have anything 100% assured. Even if you were to get married, it may work out or it may not. If he doesn’t understand this, you really must question his level of maturity. What makes him think that if you get married now, everything will work out perfectly? It may or it may not, but rushing to make a decision now will not ensure that things work out or even increase the chances of things working out.

<<Then don’t post it again and again?.>>.

Ok ! :slight_smile: i won’t..what if somebody is sad and wanna know what people would say about the situation or tell me anything else than to comcentrate on studies lol :slight_smile: i know !! I m not a dull student and a girl who does not study ..but are we not here to post ? Is it hurting or pinching anyone if m posting or i have to pay much for posting it? Lol :slight_smile: anyways i was just feeling down today so i posted :slight_smile:

Re: heart or mind?

Then somebody should be ready for replies like “you’re young” and “people laughing” without feeling bad :slight_smile:

heart or mind?

Ok ^^ ma’am :slight_smile:

Re: heart or mind?

Good girl, ab so jao, Pakistan mein bohat time hogaye hai

heart or mind?

Acha :slight_smile: meri classes dopahar me hoti hain ajj weekend b classes thi :slight_smile: so m up..not sleepy :frowning:

<<If this was some guy in the same city or country as yourself, you might have a fighting chance and the advice being given to you would be a little different. But from what you’ve described, there really doesn’t seem to be much a future there to plan for. Do yourself a favor and cut things off for good and move on>>

I m trying :slight_smile: and i know Allah knows better than us :slight_smile: i keep praying for good..Right now all i need is moral support that i m not getting from any friend or family member..Instead if m sad they react like i m doing some kind of awful act and that crying means i m crying for some **** :mad:

<<Honestly, that’s life. In terms of relationships (or anything else really), we do not have anything 100% assured. Even if you were to get married, it may work out or it may not. If he doesn’t understand this, you really must question his level of maturity. What makes him think that if you get married now, everything will work out perfectly? It may or it may not, but rushing to make a decision now will not ensure that things work out or even increase the chances of things working out.>>

100% agreed! :slight_smile: we don’t even know what is going to happen v next second ..

Re: heart or mind?

There are relationships that start online and result in marriages. There are people who live across oceans and end up together. There are people who get together even after rejections and breakups. Everyone’s experience and qismat is different. It does take a while to move on from someone you genuinely care/d about and the longer the relationship lasted, it makes sense that it will take more time to move on. The process can be difficult and deserves sensitivity and not ridicule
but OP
for how long do you expect people to comfort and encourage you? There will come a point even in real life when your real friends will get tired of trying to lift you up. Yes, there is always the option of simply not responding to a post or a thread or a blog entry
but how often do you expect people to respond seriously to threads/posts/entries about the same issue? Sympathy and support have their limits in both the real and virtual worlds. Allah knows better than us. Whatever is in your qismat
tumhain mil kar hi rahay ga. If this guy is in your qismat, you will end up with him in the future regardless of current obstacles. If Allah knows him to be harmful for you, you can cry all you want and you won’t get him. Keeping this in mind, just focus on your ibadat, your studies, and other activities. If the suggestions/advice of people is not bringing you any sakoon
and that’s understandable because these people are flawed and imperfect and limited just like you
then turn to Allah, the one who has all power, the one who will never tire of listening to your concerns
and ask Him to make things easier for you.

heart or mind?

Thank you a lot for giving your time to make me feel better :slight_smile: i know that i need to stay focused on my life :slight_smile: i m working harder now and jahan tak ibaadat ki baat hai alhamdulillah i started offering prayers..Keeping myself busy in ibaadat :slight_smile: and yeah u are right i also believe in kismat but a few people say u don’t to leave everything on kismat ..if u don’t work for anything u ll not achieve it..it disturbs me sometimes..MY real life friends are already annoyed by me lol ..anyways,nothing in this world is permanent and they are quite busy..Nobody cares where u are and in what situation you are.. :slight_smile: the reason y i post here is not to get sympathies but to get help to ease myself :frowning: i left everything on Allah .. Because i know everything is going to be alright.. :slight_smile:

Re: heart or mind?

LOLLOL how true

heart or mind?

V funny ^^ lets laugh together?