Heart or Brain?

[parissenoor]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@arshad5

That would normally be the right thing to do, but I am not sure it would apply to marriage situations.

You could wait and find someone perfect or you could wait and find no-one appealing to your heart and head and just have wasted your time. Perhaps you should acknowledge the limitations of ones mind, and simply surrender to the joys that the heart brings.

I personally think that if you find someone that you are 80% happy with then that is about as good as it gets unless you are a lucky few or infatuated with the person so much so that you don’t see the negatives. The 20% you have to compromise on and work on in a relationship.

no one is perfect…
why wait? why not live? life do not start at marriage:o

80%happy? you count all the time with someone to make statistics:bummer:

[arshad5]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@parissenoor

no one is perfect…
why wait? why not live? life do not start at marriage:o

80%happy? you count all the time with someone to make statistics:bummer:

Everybody lives a life…what I mean’t was wait until you get married. That does not mean that your life in on hold.

No you do not make statistics when you are with someone but at the start when you are setting out your ideals if that person matches 80% of what you are looking for, then you are doing well.

[mAd_ScIeNtIsT]

Re: Heart or Brain?

Brain. Logic must prevail over all else this world and your life will descend into madness.

[farishta2]

Re: Heart or Brain?

Firstly, i would hear what my parents, siblings, and friends have to say..
And, I would have to disagree with some of posts just because i think if something feels right, brain and heart would be on the same page. Both would be telling you the samething...

[arshad5]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@farishta2

Firstly, i would hear what my parents, siblings, and friends have to say.. And, I would have to disagree with some of posts just because i think if something feels right, brain and heart would be on the same page. Both would be telling you the samething...

In that case lets change the scenario a bit. Lets say that you like two people. Your hearts tells you to go with one and the head tells you to go with the other. Which one do you go for?

[farishta2]

Re: Heart or Brain?

^ In that case, i would go with the brain, atleast there would be some logic...

liking and loving someone are two different things..i guess you should wait until you find yourself falling in love with one of them and then proceed...talk to your parents and hear their thoughts..

[Fbi786]

Re: Heart or Brain?

bro thats a good question :halo:

my answer: love is done with the heart and not with the brain, and if it was done with the brain then you d like / love no one, coz sometimes the brain can be wrong but the heart is always right.

the heart should be given precidence, coz love is a game which is played with the heart not the brain.

classic eg for you to understand my point would be, once a man was prayng namaz and a man went infront of him, and broke his namaz, and the man praying said to him, you broke my namaz, the man replied if you were devouted and soo much into ur namaz with your lord you wouldnt have cared if i went infront of you, and the man who was praying said, couldnt you see where you were going? the man replied i was soo much in love with my beloved i was following her and didnt see or realise where i was going.

ehat this eg shows that the man who loved his beloved didnt care where he went or what he did but he did know that he loved her.

therefore, true love and living life after marraige (and life only starts after marraige) is only done with the heart.

[Mr_Fraudia]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@parissenoor

if heart and brain conflict, it means it is NOT the right person

I agree completely.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Heart or Brain?

Walk away for some time, dwell on other matters important to you, and then come back later and see whether its still important or not.

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Heart or Brain?

Brain, Coz Dil tu Pagal Hai

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@parissenoor

if heart and brain conflict, it means it is NOT the right person

Not really.

Brain and Heart are 2 different things are bound to conflict.

[parissenoor]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@Decent 6Chora

Not really.

Brain and Heart are 2 different things are bound to conflict.

theoretically, very true!

but pratically, the right person is the one for which both brain and heart can agree...sometime, and it is not 100%, but at least more than 50% agreement

[arshad5]

Re: Heart or Brain?

Lets say that you use logic as some people have suggested, what sorts of questions would one need to ask oneself?

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Heart or Brain?

There is the point. 50% agreement is actually a disagreement. IN fact 99% agreement also means disagreement. There are very rare cases in which both agree (i.e to 100%) If we move on just for the reason that “this is not the RIGHT person because brain and heart don’t agree”, then we might just end up “single and looking” for quite some age.

In most of the cases you have to listen to one of the two and in my opinion if such a situation arises, one should listen to brain then heart but again that’s my opinion only or that’s something I’ll do.

[parissenoor]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@arshad5

Lets say that you use logic as some people have suggested, what sorts of questions would one need to ask oneself?

first: do you think life together will be pleasant??
for example :
what about cooking styles? what about sleep hours and work schedule? do you agree if she is /yes /not going to stay housewife?

do you like talking together? going out together?
are you arguing all th time about diferent opinoins (political, religous, parents...)

do you agree to live in the same city? (can matter for couple from different regions/countries)

and also what is most important for YOU about your future wife? you have to answer in your heart and brain...that may solve your dilemna

[parissenoor]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@Decent 6Chora

There is the point. 50% agreement is actually a disagreement. IN fact 99% agreement also means disagreement. There are very rare cases in which both agree (i.e to 100%) If we move on just for the reason that “this is not the RIGHT person because brain and heart don’t agree”, then we might just end up “single and looking” for quite some age.

In most of the cases you have to listen to one of the two and in my opinion if such a situation arises, one should listen to brain then heart but again that’s my opinion only or that’s something I’ll do.

you see half empty glass when i see it half full;)

[Mamaof3]

Re: Heart or Brain?

This is a difficult question to answer when there is the question of arranged or love marriage. In arranged marriage, the question of love prior to marriage doesnt come much into play. If its a love thing then you need to be more vigilant...if your parents disapprove, question WHY they disapprove and realize that they want the BEST for you so try to LISTEN a bit! If its arranged then you really need to look at whether its a good fit or not...

I'd say that in the end, although love is a wondrous thing and all that, the brain must win. You can love someone to the ends of the earth but be completely unable to LIVE with them, yeah? Sadly, practicalities and "real life" have a way of intruding.

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@parissenoor

you see half empty glass when i see it half full;)

and I though we were having a serious argument

[parissenoor]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@Decent 6Chora

and I though we were having a serious argument :)

ok, let me explain:

to me: truth is not 100% probability, because i think 100% probability is called in modern science "utopia"
hence, i do tend to consider anything above averge, or above mean as a positive result, while opposite is negative, ok?

hence, to me when most of the time brain and heart agrees, even if it's not 100% of the time, it means, agreement is done!

otherwise, in the case where agreement is not reached more often that mean of the times, then i consider it disagreement, and so i think: leave it!

what i said was a very serious philosophical reference to the divergent point of views about life, if you do think that perfection should be reached in order to have anything good, you definitly are a pessimistic kind of person.
I am more of a realistic, optmistic kind: first i do reckon 100% probabilityis so rare, that it is almost perfection/utopia, then i have the hope (optimistic side) to consider, above average as positive....
yes i do admit realistically i should put the threshold higher, but how to define? any threshold is arbitrary, and arguing about them would have no end: mean or averga is plain simple! though reductionist

[Mr_Fraudia]

Re: Heart or Brain?

@parissenoor

you see half empty glass when i see it half full;)

the glass is always 100% full. unless thre is a vaccum