Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married…
paying off debt, arranging sisters wedding, going to uni - why can’t he do those things even after he’s married? 
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
Nikah is a must IMO. Who's to say this guy would even be around in 3-4 years to honour his commitment? If he's really committed he'd make it official now, going for rukhsati when he's financially stable. Like Naabigh said, it's not right to make someone wait like that.
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
I was thinking the same. But then what should he do? If he goes ahead and gets married before fulfilling his responsibilities his family wl get against him. It's the girl here who needs to evaluate the situation and judge if the guy is worth the wait and more importantly can she trust him that much to keep her marriage on hold for 3-4 years?.
well as in Urdu we say ' Jis Raah jana nahii Us k kooS giiney se kia faida ' - no point calculating the distance , if you arent going to travel through the route ..
so the bottom line is , specifically for our society - Dont commit / fall in love / look for a potential partner - unless or until you are freaking ready !
waiting for some one for years - could go down the drain you know ...
what if a simple excuse - ' my mother wants me to marry to a girl she likes - or the one in relative ' comes in picture after waiting for 4 years .... Lo OkhaR lo ab jo Okharna hai :D
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married…
cuz it is said after the guys get married they change i.e wont be willing to fulfill their responsibilities. its sad though that such things need 2 be done to assure they fulfill all that :(.
but unfortunately nowadays even nikkah doesnt secure much…i c so many nikkahs without ruksati ending up in divorces for weird reasons.
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
paying off debt, arranging sisters wedding, going to uni - why can't he do those things even after he's married?
umm.....those things cost money and time....which he woudn't have when married...
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
im not sure why being married would cost any more money or time than being single - especially in a joint family system... and all the more so with a loving and compromising wife like the OP. :p
heck, she can work too and help repay the debt...
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married…
do u want me to whip out all the ‘rights’ of a wife???
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married…
well because we have made the institution of marriage scurrilously demanding - have build so many useless / unnecessary hurdles /expectations in the way …
In an ideal situation - both should get married - and work it off …
If the girl is working , I mean she could help him in running the home - while he quickly get the rest done !
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
well as in Urdu we say ' Jis Raah jana nahii Us k kooS giiney se kia faida ' - no point calculating the distance , if you arent going to travel through the route ..
so the bottom line is , specifically for our society - Dont commit / fall in love / look for a potential partner - unless or until you are freaking ready !
waiting for some one for years - could go down the drain you know ...
what if a simple excuse - ' my mother wants me to marry to a girl she likes - or the one in relative ' comes in picture after waiting for 4 years .... Lo OkhaR lo ab jo Okharna hai :D
well maybe he was nt looking but just fell in love :D it happens so cnt blme him for that :p.
however i do agree with u, it involves alot of risk and only the girl can decide if he is worth it :)
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
cuz it is said after the guys get married they change i.e wont be willing to fulfill their responsibilities. its sad though that such things need 2 be done to assure they fulfill all that :(.
If a man can't balance between his married life and his other life, then IMO, he has no need to call himself a man.
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
cuz it is said after the guys get married they change i.e wont be willing to fulfill their responsibilities. its sad though that such things need 2 be done to assure they fulfill all that :(..
Argh c'mon - no one gets change .... If they do - may be because we expect them to run two families in a single income ... Impossible with the inflation rate we see raising every day
so here parents need to take some responsibility as well ...
I am not Gona raise my kid with a hope then he would look after me , when I get old ... If he /she does fair enough ... if not who cares !
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married…
what about when the people involved in ‘other’ and ‘married’ life aren’t supportive?? 
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
well maybe he was nt looking but just fell in love :D it happens so cnt blme him for that :p.
however i do agree with u, it involves alot of risk and only the girl can decide if he is worth it :)
Nope in this age and time - it doesn't happen blindly ...
we all take our chances and take calculated risks ...
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
but unfortunately nowadays even nikkah doesnt secure much...i c so many nikkahs without ruksati ending up in divorces for weird reasons.
Still, divorce makes people think twice.
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
If a man can't balance between his married life and his other life, then IMO, he has no need to call himself a man.
Agreed.
Argh c'mon - no one gets change .... If they do - may be because we expect them to run two families in a single income ... Impossible with the inflation rate we see raising every day
so here parents need to take some responsibility as well ...
I am not Gona raise my kid with a hope then he would look after me , when I get old ... If he /she does fair enough ... if not who cares !
You said it yourself. That's why the parents don't want added responsibility on the son i.e his marriage.
Nope in this age and time - it doesn't happen blindly ...
we all take our chances and take calculated risks ...
Really? Hmm.
Still, divorce makes people think twice.
I hope it does because i see the opposite happening around me, people divorcing seems to be the trend now.
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married…
TrollNomi failed to troll waaaaan waaaaaaaaannnn
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married…
:D… its a valid question…u can ignore it calling it troll 
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
I don't think it's a good idea to do the nikkah in advance.
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
I don't think his parents would mind , they're more likely to be looking forward to our wedding, but that's something that he has to sit and talk with them, which i have to try to convince him to do..
2 years would have been enough to fulfill his responsibilities, besides he's already working.. guys, 3/4 years is a very long time to wait, and i think i'm reasonable to prefer getting married not too late and having kids early...
and like i said, i'm hoping to have a decent job (sollicitor) so it's not like i would cost him anything, quite the opposite.
Ideally, his sister and us would get married at the same time, if wedding cost is an issue, it would help a lot ..
Re: He wants me to wait too long before we get married...
whats the point of having expensive weddings when you are in debt? i think you should talk to your guy about possible solutions and how to make a wedding work, and what you are willing to do to share responsibilities. men are creatures of reason. if he still has issues, maybe the issue isn't what you think it is..