He is not going to marry you!

Lifestyle Relationships
61

Re: He is not going to marry you!

To make it simple for someone who still does not understand the essence of this thead I am glad to simplify that the moral of this real life story boils down to:

1- Relationship between man and woman is based on future direction more so for a much weaker partner i.e. the woman.

2- There are men who are players.

3- Playing this game can be as long as a man is encouraged/entertained/welcomed to be a player. No time limit.

4- Man is at fault if commnication is boken since man is responsible in ANY culture to take charge.

5- Women can be players but have lot more to lose in the end than men.

6- Third party can do so much. It is better for two directly involved to be responsible enough as not to involve third party.

7- Most of the time woman invloves/encourages third party because man is just too evil not to communicate.

Lastly:

Players gonna play if let be.

62

Re: He is not going to marry you!

If some 1 is with some 1 for whole year then he is nota player !!!!

63

Re: He is not going to marry you!

..

64

Re: He is not going to marry you!

Lets get the time limit set here for someone to be or not be a player !!!

Any idea?

65

Re: He is not going to marry you!

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/misc/quote_icon.png

Originally Posted by diwana http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/buttons/viewpost-right.png
To make it simple for someone who still does not understand the essence of this thead I am glad to simplify that the moral of this real life story boils down to:

1- Relationship between man and woman is based on future direction more so for a much weaker partner i.e. the woman.

2- There are men who are players. I agree

3- Playing this game can be as long as a man is encouraged/entertained/welcomed to be a player. No time limit.
The game will continue as long as the woman chooses to encourage/entertain/welcome the player b/c she’s too weak emotionally to take charge of her own life.

Yes.

4- Man is at fault if commnication is boken since man is responsible in ANY culture to take charge.
If a woman wants a man to be in charge…especially a desi woman…then she should not date at all. She should allow her DAD to marry her to whomever he chooses (aka he, as the man, is in charge of her future). But if a woman considers herself “mature” enough to enter into a relationship on her own for the purpose of marriage, then she should be ready/willing to take equal responsibility for the outcome of that relationship.

Yes as a principle. Not going to say if it relates desi or non-desi relationship.

5- Women can be players but have lot more to lose in the end than men.

Don’t know why no comment on this one. Women CAN be players.

6- Third party can do so much. It is better for two directly involved to be responsible enough as not to involve third party.
Third party should NOT be doing anything in a relationship! The only time a third party should get involved is if/when one of the people in the relationship is being abused or in in some other type of physical danger.

Yes. But IF the woman feels or any partner feels not getting anywhere, third party can be brought as second or even as last option.

7- Most of the time woman invloves/encourages third party because man is just too evil not to communicate.
Women involve third parties b/c they’re emotional and are unable to use their brain to analyze the situation. They’re unable to take charge of their own life and decide for themselves that they will not allow a man to “play” them.

Well, it is not necessarily because of their inability to use brain, it is their emotional weakness and natural need to be loved, being afraid of trying different options, having a stigma (desi or non desi) to be rejected before which may make them try to stick to the player hoping that the player may change his mind.
Lastly:

Players gonna play if let be.
I completely agree! If the man is allowed to be a player, then there is no reason for him to stop.

66

Re: He is not going to marry you!

I agree than woman can be players too. But don't think they have "more" to lose than the man.

67

Re: He is not going to marry you!

In our backward culture, yes they do!!

68

Re: He is not going to marry you!

Fine.

I see them potentially losing more because of some traits/weakness they have. Not to say to deny some degree of strength they may have not to 'feel' losing but that may not be enough for them to be winner in playing game.

As of simple coruiosity not to argue, would you care to explain why you think they do not have more to lose being player?

69

Re: He is not going to marry you!

Sorry to say it is nothing to do with culture.

70

Re: He is not going to marry you!

I agree. But that's why there aren't too many desi girls who're "players"...at least not in my personal experience. I did know of 2 girls back in college who had a.."reputation". But both had arranged marraiges after college so at least in their case, their past didn't prevent them from getting married (I'm assuming the groom's side never found out).

And non desi girls...the ones that I know of who're "players"...don't give a sh*t about what anyone else thinks.

71

Re: He is not going to marry you!

In bold sentence lies the answer. You had to assume no one could find out their past.

However, we are talking about man to woman interaction.

There will likely be universal reactions regardless of culture in the minds of men if they sense the woman is player and will have upper hand in making her lose/take advantage of the game, not vice versa.

Meaning, the woman despite finding out or sensing the man is player may continue to be played and be in denial till the last moment when the man eventually breaks it to her or simply leaves.

In other words, woman has more hope and nurturing trait than man which works against her.

72

Re: He is not going to marry you!

What do you mean that there is no reason to wait if he likes the woman?

He may not be ready for marriage and there can be a ton of reasons for it, which none of us 3rd parties will have any idea of. And on the other hand, if she is.... it doesn't mean she should dump him.

If one is not ready to marry while the other is, there doesn't have to be a break up.

Why does the girl want to get married to him?
A. Bec she is short of time or
B. Bec she genuinely likes/loves this guy and wants to marry him - in this case, time should not really matter... assuming he is a serious guy
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If they really like each other, I'm sure one of them can compromise for the other.... if neither can compromise then I suppose they should break up because they don't truly like each other.
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In this case, it seems like the girl is the one who really wants to get married, so assuming the guy is not a player and he genuinely likes her, she can try to compromise. The girl can give him X amount of time but maybe on the condition that they will definitely get married after that certain period of time or after he achieved his certain goal.

On what basis has this guy been established as a player? Bec they have been together for a year, he dodged your question straight away without giving an excuse and bec he is not ready for marriage??? Wow.

I didn't know there were specific conditions, which if met, establishes one as a player or as a serious person.

73

Re: He is not going to marry you!

Its true. These type of men are always players not real. They just know how to make excuses and to get away with all what they want from a woman.

74

Re: He is not going to marry you!

These points I hope to discuss later. :)

75

Re: He is not going to marry you!

If by 'it' you mean the case you have mentioned, then that may be true.

But in general, there is no doubt that our culture compounds this problem that women face. The stigma associated is much greater..