Well I can give my example. Few weeks before my wedding, I kinda sorta stopped responding to Mrs. Chaudhry's emails / texts as well, well responded but less frequently. For me it was really the moment of Snap this is really happening and I am getting married and with that a period of depression came that resulted in the way I acted. Well the day of wedding came, wedding happened and the phase passed. If I have to guess, perhaps something similar. Not every one is like me but I am just purely basing this on my own experience. It shall pass, enjoy your freedom, you will have all life talk/text/message him, use this little time you have left before the jail time i mean wedding to fullest instead of worrying about him not messaging. Trust me after marriage, you will wonder why he is messaging back so much!
Okay. I'll give you my example. I am the worst at calling someone. I can't do it. I get phone anxiety, I get shy etc. I always text someone. They on the other hand don't like texting, always call me. If I don't text them, they won't text me for hours, maybe for a day etc. If they won't call, I won't talk to them for days. It pisses them off a lot. We've had arguments many times as to why I don't make the effort and call, why are they the one to always call, but at the end of the day it is just who I am. You don't need to worry too much, I think it is the realisation of the fact that you guys are getting married soon. Just keep on the lookout for any red flags, but don't make it obvious that you're bothered. The other person doesn't want to know you're acting a certain way, it'll irritate them further and they won't come out of that frame of mind. Just act cool and have some patience. Inshallah everything should be well in the end.
I don't know what to say about other people's advice, but if you're in a committed relationship and don't speak for a few weeks, that's alarming. A few days, I get. A week, sure. But two or more? That's not normal. Even if you can't keep a conversation going for long, at least checking up on each other. Do you guys have that, or is literally no communication for weeks on end?
I would worry about the bit of being online and not talking to you, could there be someone else? 2 weeks is a long time.
Maybe it is just reality kicking in that he is actually getting married, it is a big commitment and responsibility.
But I think this time leading up to the wedding is very important, we were always calling each other, right up until a day or 2 before the wedding. So seem to think maybe there is something wrong, speak to him again or if you are close to his mum I would mention it in passing. I would be worried as to why he doesn't want to talk esp since you are getting married soon.
I don't know what to say about other people's advice, but if you're in a committed relationship and don't speak for a few weeks, that's alarming. A few days, I get. A week, sure. But two or more? That's not normal. Even if you can't keep a conversation going for long, at least checking up on each other. Do you guys have that, or is literally no communication for weeks on end?
No communication whatsoever unless I message first. Which I won't be doing this time
I would worry about the bit of being online and not talking to you, could there be someone else? 2 weeks is a long time.
Maybe it is just reality kicking in that he is actually getting married, it is a big commitment and responsibility.
But I think this time leading up to the wedding is very important, we were always calling each other, right up until a day or 2 before the wedding. So seem to think maybe there is something wrong, speak to him again or if you are close to his mum I would mention it in passing. I would be worried as to why he doesn't want to talk esp since you are getting married soon.
I highly doubt there's someone else but somehow the comments on this thread are making me feel otherwise... If he still doesn't contact me then I guess I'll get others involved because I'm 100% sure there's something wrong. This is really abnormal behaviour
Since this is a love marriage, have you two seen each other since his behavior changed? If so, does he act different in-person?
We've seen each other a few times but never just us two. He seems fine when other people are there. However it's been a while and his behavior has gotten more alarming since then
Id actually suggest not to mention to his mom, is she asks him he'll completely shut down out of the consequence of telling the truth (in case if there is something)
Talk to him and ask difficult questions and make sure he answers them properly!!
Apparently, he doesn't want a wife who is all up in his business all the time... texting and talking when he should be working. He is getting into the *married *mode.
You message, he messages, what's the big deal? Don't create unnecessary problems/arguments which turn into bigger issues later on.
It's weird. When that happens to me I take it the guy is not interested and I move on.
Normally, yes i would agree with the above, and so would most girls when you have just met a person and he is ditching you like so.
however in OP's position, she has already known him for a few years and are getting married in a few months, so there is alot more of time invested with an end goal of marriage... It isn't likely that he is goign to ditch her.. something else is probably going on like cold feet.. as far as the not-talking-for-2-weeks... OP is just as much at fault as her fiance because she also waited 2 weeks to talk to him...
but I think OP is just thinking way too deep into it
Apparently, he doesn't want a wife who is all up in his business all the time... texting and talking when he should be working. He is getting into the *married *mode.
You message, he messages, what's the big deal? Don't create unnecessary problems/arguments which turn into bigger issues later on.
Married life entails not speaking to each other for weeks on end?
Not normal. I'd ask him straight up what's going on. I've only seen this behavior with people who are dating and one party is trying to fade out of the picture.
We've seen each other a few times but never just us two. He seems fine when other people are there. However it's been a while and his behavior has gotten more alarming since then
I think you should meet him in person for coffee or lunch in a public place. During the meeting, without being emotional or accusing, simply tell him how you feel. Let him know that this change in his behavior is making you worried that he may be having second thoughts about this wedding. See what he says.
I think it's crazy that you two are engaged to be married in a few months yet aren't seeing each other in person despite living in the same city. Even if its with other people.....the fact that you haven't seen him in person for a while seems weird to me. And also, when exchanging messages, you can't see his facial expression or hear the tone of voice. I truly believe having a face-to-face conversation when there are issue is a relationship is much better than relying on messages.
Does he have a stressful job? Has ANYTHING changed in his job in the last few months? Also, where will you live in 4 months after the wedding? Meaning is he under pressure to buy a home or get a bigger apartment or whatever?
BTW, I strongly disagree on getting 3rd parties involved here. This is not a stranger. You have known this guy for a few years and this is a love marriage. There will be many issues in the years to come in the marriage. You and him need to learn to communicate with one another and solve these issues. It's a terrible idea to start involving 3rd parties because it can easily blow up the situation and cause resentment. I'm sure you would not appreciate him getting his family or friends involved in your relationship and telling them things that are happening between the two of you. Give him that same respect. Do everything in your power to keep the lines of communication open. Don't be stubborn. That will only make things worse.
I think you should meet him in person for coffee or lunch in a public place. During the meeting, without being emotional or accusing, simply tell him how you feel. Let him know that this change in his behavior is making you worried that he may be having second thoughts about this wedding. See what he says.
I think it's crazy that you two are engaged to be married in a few months yet aren't seeing each other in person despite living in the same city. Even if its with other people.....the fact that you haven't seen him in person for a while seems weird to me. And also, when exchanging messages, you can't see his facial expression or hear the tone of voice. I truly believe having a face-to-face conversation when there are issue is a relationship is much better than relying on messages.
Does he have a stressful job? Has ANYTHING changed in his job in the last few months? Also, where will you live in 4 months after the wedding? Meaning is he under pressure to buy a home or get a bigger apartment or whatever?
BTW, I strongly disagree on getting 3rd parties involved here. This is not a stranger. You have known this guy for a few years and this is a love marriage. There will be many issues in the years to come in the marriage. You and him need to learn to communicate with one another and solve these issues. It's a terrible idea to start involving 3rd parties because it can easily blow up the situation and cause resentment. I'm sure you would not appreciate him getting his family or friends involved in your relationship and telling them things that are happening between the two of you. Give him that same respect. Do everything in your power to keep the lines of communication open. Don't be stubborn. That will only make things worse.
I agree we need to meet in person and discuss this. That way I can see his body language too. As far as I know, nothing in his job hasn't changed. He's been looking elsewhere too and he's mentioned that he's a bit stressed because of that, but it wasn't a huge deal to him. We're going to be living with his parents so there's no pressure to move out. I really don't know what else it could be. I'm praying it's just major cold feet and nothing else
He might have bought a smart phone and perhaps busy in reading blogs, news, watching songs on youtube etc. It takes time to get used-to with all these. Have patience.