So I’m getting married soon and my fiance and I have known each other for a few years now (love marriage). We used to talk all the time but recently he just doesn’t message anymore. It’s always me messaging first nowadays. If I don’t message then we won’t talk for 2 weeks+. Now I wouldn’t mind if this was the case from the beginning but it’s started happening over the past 2-3 months. We spoke quite a bit last week and things were going really good between us (we were more lovey dovey than usual etc) but all of a sudden he stopped talking. We haven’t argued, nor have I done anything to upset him…he’s just suddenly gone quiet like before. I understand he may be stressed about his job/wedding planning but we’ve discussed all of that. I know he’s not busy since he’s online ALL THE TIME. I don’t know who he’s talking to but clearly if he has time to converse with someone, he has time to message me. It’s not even about not knowing what to say because we always have something to talk about.
I’m just confused. Why doesn’t he message anymore? We’ve had this argument so many times in the past few months and every time, he makes effort for a few days after that but then goes quiet again. I’m tired of messaging first. Is this normal before you get married?
He probably just needs space. I am terrible at calling and talking to someone, i find it useless to talk on phone. I much rather talk face to face but not a big fan o lf texting and such. Maybe he just needs space.
0r .... He found someone but I doubt it considerinf you were good
-is busy
-wants a bit of space
-wants to create longing for you
-is a bit nervous now since shaadii is fast approaching, and finally
-may be shy of folks k 'log kia kaheNge!' :)
btw, have you ever asked him the same questions point blank?
He probably just needs space. I am terrible at calling and talking to someone, i find it useless to talk on phone. I much rather talk face to face but not a big fan o lf texting and such. Maybe he just needs space.
0r .... He found someone but I doubt it considerinf you were good
Or .. He is thinking why she hasnt called me yet?
Or .. He got cold feet and went in his shell
But he's never been like that before. It was always him messaging or calling 24/7 but he's changed all of a sudden. We've discussed everything like cold feet etc but he's absolutely fine. He usually tells me everything so he has no reason to hide anything from me..we're quite open with each other. I have no idea what's going on.
^^ then no need to worry since you have everything cleared from his end.
Relationships are always evolving, it is highly unlikely that your relationship will be the same way every single day. And maybe now is that time for your relationship. Doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It’s just that - **change.
**Take what he says at face value and continue on. Be happy and pray that Allah has blessed you with a good person, if you really think about it, he doesn’t treat you bad, you have nothing negative to say besides the talking 24/7 stopped.
-is busy
-wants a bit of space
-wants to create longing for you
-is a bit nervous now since shaadii is fast approaching, and finally
-may be shy of folks k 'log kia kaheNge!' :)
btw, have you ever asked him the same questions point blank?
I have. We've argued about the same thing about 4 times. Weeks go by without any interaction and I always cave in and message him asking what's wrong...to which the answer is always "nothing". If I don't message then he never will. I guess this time I won't message and see how long it takes before he bothers contacting me
I guess you’re right but you don’t just stop talking to someone for weeks on end?! Surely there must be a reason especially if things were absolutely fine? Argh I don’t know
I have. We've argued about the same thing about 4 times. Weeks go by without any interaction and I always cave in and message him asking what's wrong...to which the answer is always "nothing". If I don't message then he never will. I guess this time I won't message and see how long it takes before he bothers contacting me
don't test this out and don't make decisions based on how he is not messaging you...he could've a very genuine/benign reason for that. don't push him too hard on this issue...please! :)
yes, I understand why you would be upset about that. It is a big change compared to history... but even then, take it with a grain of salt.. if you start to over think this, it will mess with your mind and that can lead to actual problems between you and him..
I am just saying.. at the end of the day, you have a great relationship with him (correct?) ... keep it that way by letting these thoughts out of your mind... enjoy this time as you are still his fiance, pretty soon iA you will be his wife, and that will be such a wonderful feeling... time will not go back to change anything.. so just enjoy it ...
and who knows? maybe after marriage, it will change again...
and another thing... husband and wife should be equals.. so don't think "I am always the one doing this and that" .... trust me, when you live together, there will be plenty of that (take out the trash) (you left the light on - again) (pick up your socks) LOL .... don't let messaging first become an issue hun
I would relax...its not the end of the world. Sometimes people get cold feet, get nervous and just start to realize the changes coming their way. No worries...leave him be and let him come to you when he's ready.
I have. We've argued about the same thing about 4 times. Weeks go by without any interaction and I always cave in and message him asking what's wrong...to which the answer is always "nothing". If I don't message then he never will. I guess this time I won't message and see how long it takes before he bothers contacting me
Also, don't create another problem (highlighted) to try to solve your own problem. Also relationships are not tests where you pose a question and get absolute answers. So just don't do that.
I am not sure but one other reason apart from the ones mentioned by others is, isn't it possible that he was pursuing you when he was actively initiating contact and now he isn't required to do that since you are engaged to be married so he's not doing that anymore?
Am i the only one that sees a potential red flag here? Being online all the time and yet not contacting you for TWO WEEKS at a time, sounds fishy to me?!?!
I mean just out of concern after a week a normal person would just send a line to checkup on his girl! so this behavior sounds weird to me.
What does ur gut say about all this? You know him & ur love more than we do so analyse things & listen to urself..do u feel he is confused or just wanting space before the shadi? If you have to ask him tough questions to get ur peace of mind like 'are you unsure about us?' or 'do u still wana do this?' etc make sure u ask all this because at the end of the day this is a marriage you both are entering and you dont wana go into it with a shred of discomfort or doubt.
Basucally just talk it out, ask questions if needed & dont accept one word answers like 'nothing'. Its your right to know!
woh desparate nahin hai. aren't you glad, bichri hui? 123cookie123, why don't you propose to him and then get married? hope u don't mind, i don't know much about many fiance fiancee situations!
Well I can give my example. Few weeks before my wedding, I kinda sorta stopped responding to Mrs. Chaudhry's emails / texts as well, well responded but less frequently. For me it was really the moment of Snap this is really happening and I am getting married and with that a period of depression came that resulted in the way I acted. Well the day of wedding came, wedding happened and the phase passed. If I have to guess, perhaps something similar. Not every one is like me but I am just purely basing this on my own experience. It shall pass, enjoy your freedom, you will have all life talk/text/message him, use this little time you have left before the jail time i mean wedding to fullest instead of worrying about him not messaging. Trust me after marriage, you will wonder why he is messaging back so much!
So I'm getting married soon and my fiance and I have known each other for a few years now (love marriage). We used to talk all the time but recently he just doesn't message anymore. It's always me messaging first nowadays. If I don't message then we won't talk for 2 weeks+. Now I wouldn't mind if this was the case from the beginning but it's started happening over the past 2-3 months. We spoke quite a bit last week and things were going really good between us (we were more lovey dovey than usual etc) but all of a sudden he stopped talking. We haven't argued, nor have I done anything to upset him...he's just suddenly gone quiet like before. I understand he may be stressed about his job/wedding planning but we've discussed all of that. I know he's not busy since he's online ALL THE TIME. I don't know who he's talking to but clearly if he has time to converse with someone, he has time to message me. It's not even about not knowing what to say because we always have something to talk about.
I'm just confused. Why doesn't he message anymore? We've had this argument so many times in the past few months and every time, he makes effort for a few days after that but then goes quiet again. I'm tired of messaging first. Is this normal before you get married?
