mai chotai chaotai palai palai bachau kee batau ka bura nai manata....i have bunties..chocolates...colour pencils..and Maggi Noodles for them...:)
giving one example ..and pasting it on whole is not accurate...i am talking about majority......
there are many many aspects..colours..flavours and angles of this debate ...but on the whole..people in past ..live more happily..where bth sides mostly girl...and wife ..willing to sacrifice more ..for husband..home...children ..and other things..now ..by watching ..STAR ..SONY..and HUM...and AAJ ....many of them become choosy*...."Nakhreeli"...*in arrogance of high education..Masters will not willing to accept the graduate husband...standards..choices....etc etc...
as a result..there is very serious problem..of girls..not marrying..and as age crosses the 27 or 26 etc...then in last ..even matric pass ...is like*" gift"* for them....
no doubt..on boy sides..the "list of jahaiz" and "demand" have increased..but both sides ..have changed thier mental attitudes..and as a result..both suffer more..in contrast with past..where there is no such huge amount of divorces...and seperations .as we see today....
moreover...some "greedy" people want "on job" girl...many girls...themselves..not willing to stay home..to look after thier foremost priority...thier home and children..instead ...she is prroving to the world her foolishness...of being equal with men..and doing everything..what he can do !!!!!
and now..she is unaware of the word*"compromise"..as she earns her"own"..not dependant on "any one"...."independent"...."free"...cannot accept the "order of her own husband"..cannot stay at home ..as in "modern days ..staying at home is just like slavery of husband* ....bla bla.....
so let her prove her"**independence" **atthe cost of her own husband..good happy life of home with ...children !!!!
PS:its not generalization...to anyone...circumstances vary from individual to individual...
How is "happiness" measured and defined? Who is happy in this situation? Is a lifetime filled with sacrifice to people who take you for granted a life of happiness?
Why don't you get over these nostalgic delusions and myths and deal with reality?
I think some men are still stuck in the old world mentality..where a woman was considered the animal of burden...and everything was just fine and dandy..as long as the men had a mistress and their desires were being fulfilled by someone other than their wives...no one complained..no one could even say anything.....because women were not in the position to speak up....(due to the lack of education)
now that we can...its has become a HUGE problem to the male society.......all of a sudden...juxtaposed to the centuries of mistreatment of women---us independent women are the cause of the high rate of divorce....
i say kudos to the men who have said hello to that happy medium of compromise......thank you and you dont know how much we appreciate it....
and to those...who still reminisce the dysfunctional...not to forget the unjust past..which has taken centuries to change......i say...wake up...and EVOLVE.
Read your opening post 2,3 or 4 times...but not as sara-khan but as someone else...perhas as aly-sam or another stranger. Look at it from above...distance yourself from the relationship and transcend the emotions and ties you are presently feeling. Then think what advice you would give sara-khan.
Many people given you some good advice, but you and i both know deep down you not going to take it. So take advice from yourself. And whatever you decide, accept it and good luck.
One thing though, if you cant bear the heartbreak that come for a few years of being with him...imagine if you have to go through a lifetime of that feeling...would you be able to cope patiently or would you break-down?
And I think thats what your dad is trying to tell you too.
take as many advices as u want but in the end you’ll be the one to act on them n live with the consequences. so either u ditch the paki-lotafied-guy for a cute european or marry the lota…in the you’ll be the one lifing the burden. good luck.
PS : after reading about ur passion for european guys…i guess he is right in not caring about you. he should care for cute european girls with 0% nakhra and 100% personality. :k:
btw ladies, on the issue of living with inlaws.
realize that at some point you will have to. when they are older and whether its due to health or due to resources, your husband as a good son would have to live with them. Unless you guys are okay with someone shipping their folks to an old folks home.
wonder if youwould like thatto happen to yourparents cuz yer brother did not want to stay with them since his wife was not too keen on living with the inlaws.
just a point to ponder, no response needed :)
i recall you saying this exact same things several months ago in some other thread but i dont think i replied to it....
when you "eventually" live with your in-laws it's different because that means that the couple had their alone time.....they had plenty of time to adapt to each other. They had time to connect and grow...to fight and make up on their own without interference. To "eventually" live with your in-laws means that you are taking care of the parents and not the whole clan. Besides...if there are other siblings (sisters included) taking care of the in-laws shouldnt be the responsibility of one child....it should be the responsibility of ALL of the family members. If there are no other siblings then that would be a different story.
