Having your brother-in-law's children

Arts & Culture Culture, Arts, Literature & Linguistics
21

So, You say
[QUOTE]
haven't even told this to anyone in my family because i do not want anyone who knows this family personally, to be made aware of this
[/QUOTE]
and you are telling the whole world here.

Aside from that, its just sick and gross. I have never heard of this. I do know and have seen where Brother had a child just to give it up (adoption) to his brother and sister in law.

22

Nadia, I once got to know this guy a few years back and he told me about his family.

His mother and father were married for a number of years, had kids, and then one day the mother passed away. The mother's side was I think poor. So then the father married his wife's sister. I am not sure if he had children with her, but I think he did (but not 100% sure now).

Anyway, it is something my friend was not proud of. You could tell that he probably went through a lot of teasing as a result of what his father did. I dont think he was comfy with the fact that his father married his aunt. So no, I dont think what you stated or what I have stated here is normal or common in Pakistan.

23

don't think its common practice at all, perhaps it happens in a rare case...sick nonetheless...

24

First time I've ever heard of such a thing.

25

Lets get the mechanics straight first.

  1. Son A will divorce Wife A
  2. Son B Nikahs Wife A (Now Girl A)
  3. Wife A gets pregnant
  4. Son B Divorces Wife A
  5. Wife A waits to deliver the baby
  6. Son A Nikahs Wife A again

Its possible...legaly I guess...but...Screwed up kids they'll be.

26

Lol who-me..

Let me introduce Miss C.
this cant happen ----> 6. Son A Nikahs Wife A again.
unless Son A has nikah with Miss C, and divorces her.

I think.

27

Gosh, this is the first time I´m hearing of anything like that and I find it hard to believe. But then: It´s Nadia, so it must be true. :konfused:

28

good God :smack:
what the heck?
wait, Nadia, you didnt mention a few things. without knowledge of which any comment could be irrelevent. were they muslims? exactly how desperate were they? and did they mean artificial insemination or smthng? and if none of the above, were they from an ancient african tribe?
if muslims, it’s totally haram and inconceivable. even in non muslim cultures.

29

MM, 'Miss C' is not needed. You're talking about 'halala' which is for females only. If done as WhoMe wrote, its legal.

I've read a similar story in either khawateen or Shua few years ago. Why isn't she getting divorced from him, that is if she (Wife A) absolutely can't live with that family, or without a child of her own? Is she from Pak without a visa or something.

30

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Faisal: *
What I have heard, ofcourse, and seen too in a couple of cases, where a couple is unable to have children, then another sibling (brother, sister) gave one of their children to the childless couple to bring up. The children are told from early on that they are living with their guardian and who their actual parents are. Seems to work fine where both the real parents and the guardians live closeby and all children have good interaction.
[/QUOTE]

Even that seems weird to me. Handing over kids as consolation prizes doesn't seem right. It's totally different to adopting unwanted children.

31

Nadia u have some very weird relatives …and u stayed with such ppl for a year! :rolleyes:

PS: Nadia_H , R u the girl “H” in the story.?

32

yeah Mystical :) thats only for women... the man doesnt have to marry C D or E.. he just waits for A to get divorced and marries her... but then again, Allah Mian is watching ur intentions.. and this isnt really right is it?

33

Sadzzz,
Technically speaking, formally, they are “educated”. i would think they must have heard of IVF, artificial insemination, and other similar medical procedures…

Kaleem Bhai,
If for a second i would imagine that any guppy would be able to pinpoint precisely which family this is, their surname, their residence, blah blah, then i wouldn’t put this up. i haven’t mentioned which country they live in - could be Canada, the UAE, the States, UK, or Pakistan - all the places i have visited and lived in. So if there’s any guppy out there who can identify the individuals, their surnames, their locations, this khandaan, based upon this thread alone, then i’d have to say i’m a little impressed by their psychic powers.

Munni,
Well see in that particular case you mentioned, at least i mean - they got married. As gross as it sounds, but still - technically, the father did wait until he became a widower. It’s not as though a guy had kids with his sister-in-law while his sister-in-law is still married to his brother. Does that make sense?

DM, i agree.

Who—me, For the kids to be born, there was not going to be any divorce or talaaq from any party. The plan was for all of this to occur while Son A was still married to Wife A - i.e., Son A was not going to divorce Wife A - even while his brother was going to have kids with his wife. That’s the whole problem - the wife was asked by her in-laws to have kids with her brother-in-law while he’s still technically her brother-in-law (and she is still technically someone else’s wife). Plan was for all of this to occur in one night, she gets pregnant, and then i guess they tell everyone that the kid is the biological offspring of Son A and Wife A…not Son B and Wife A.

Umer, Yeah :stuck_out_tongue: You can believe me :smiley:

Haris, To answer your questions:

  • yes they were Muslims.
  • pretty desperate, i must imagine. Funniest/most bizarre part is, the parents are extremely “religious” and outwardly “good Muslims” - whatever that means, i don’t even know now. Asking someone’s wife to sleep with someone besides her husband, just so she can have kids and you can continue your khandaan ka naam, doesn’t exactly fit my description of a good Muslim but… whatever. i don’t even understand how one defines being a “good Muslim” now. It’s a bunch of bull.
  • No, they meant ‘sleep’ as in sleeping together. i wish i had thought then of IVF because i would have put the question to her as to why they weren’t considering that.
  • lol no. i doubt even “ancient African tribes” would concoct something as bizarre as this. They would probably do the decent thing and adopt an orphan from one of their kin tribes. But it’s generally us desis who manage to scream and run away at the word “orphan” as though pata nahin we are adopting Martian babies with three heads and an antenna. Simple as pie - just adopt an orphan if you want to have kids that badly.

UndertheCross, :flower1: No. If it is me, i will let you know. Until then, please don’t make assumptions about whether or not i fit in anywhere in this story. Thanks. :flower1:

34

thanks saba n sadz, wasnt sure on that..:p

35

Nadia,
:) i see..so the 3 possibilities i thought of didnt apply, in that case they were seriously twisted...but, anyway, we shouldnt be making fun of anyone i guess...everythings in Allah's control...who knows how desperate they may have been...
but then again, GOD! what was with them...! :D

36

The daughter in law should immediately
divorce her husband (son a). The marriage is lacking the
sanctity from day 1. Stop socializing with such people. A
man is recognized by the company he keeps.

37

i think the wife A can divorce son A (lol) merely on the basis that he kept this medical information from her, until after the marraige. Now though, she has enough reasons to get one asap.

38

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by humhaipakistani: *
Now though, she has enough reasons to get one asap.
[/QUOTE]
get one, what? One divorce should be enough. Why do you want her to get double divorce? :-P

Waisay, all those who are advocating she should get divorced.. sharam karo. 'Parayee shaadi mein Abdullah deewana' wali baat ho gayee hai. Chen say rehnay do sabb ko.

39

Haris, yeah i agree - we shouldn't laugh at them. Who knows how desperate they were. People do irrational things all the time... only Allah knows their motivations.

HumHaiPakistani, yeah - i think you have a very valid point there.

40

Faisal Bhai, Sorry - second time i am asking you to clarify something for me :smack: What does that mean - outsiders shouldn’t interfere in someone’s personal matters, i.e., we shouldn’t comment that this couple should get a divorce? Either way, i am not sure about the issue but i just wanted to clarify what your quote actually means, that’s all. Thanks in advance.