Is this common in Pakistani culture. IF it is not, has anyone else, besides myself, heard of it. i find it rather odd to put it mildly.
A family we know have two sons (and one daughter, but the daughter is not relevant to this particular issue). Son A is the eldest. When he was born, there was some sort of medical problem and i am sad to say that, he is not able to conceive children. Son B does not have the same medical problem, he was married (now divorced), with three young children. Son A is currently married; his wife is medically able to have children, but of course she can’t because of her husband’s condition.
Anyways, to cut a long story short, there were many problems going on within this particular khandaan (as is true for each and every family around the world). Son A’s wife (i’ll call her Wife A - bear with me, people, it does get less mundane) was not informed about the medical condition prior to the nikkah. i know - extremely wrong. There were some serious incompatibility issues between the two of them, as well as between Wife A and her inlaws.
Anyways, i assume that in order to ‘resolve’ the problems and hopefully ‘fix’ (???) what was becoming a deteriorating marital relationship, Son A’s parents suggested to their daughter-in-law to have children with Son B - i.e., for one wife to sleep with her husband’s brother. Now i know this family extremely well, infact i’ve lived with them even for a year. Our family connections go back decades. So i am not making any of this up.
Maybe this is common - afterall, they are not suggesting anything so completely out of this universe. Then again - i mean, that’s your husband’s brother… how can you possibly have children with him ? Not surprisingly, Wife A refused… To be honest, i am not entirely certain i appreciate how desperate some individuals in this khandaan must have been, in order for Son A and Wife A to have children together. Did they think that if they did have children together, that the marital relationship would improve ? (There was SOME hint of Wife A leaving Son A, so maybe they thought - if she has a kid, she will be less likely to leave?). When she refused, she was asked why…she replied she would never in a million years, she did not feel comfortable. Phir baat khatam ho gai; i don’t think they have brought it up again. So at least they are not pressuring her.
Honestly, i have no idea what to make of this… when i was told of this, i didn’t show any reaction; i just nodded my head and looked at the ground. i mean, afterall, you never truly know how desperate some individuals could be to even suggest such an arrangement. Then again, i mean - come on, there are like 30 million+ orphans around the world; that’s a conservative estimate. If you want to ensure your family name survives that badly, then just adopt. (NO i am not saying adopt from Africa or a non-desi country; any couple may adopt a child from the Edhi Foundation. Uss mai kia kharaabi hai ? If nationality is that important to the couple, then fine - go ahead and adopt from an org. you prefer). Maybe their rationale was that some individuals can’t give the same amount of love to non-biological children, as they would be able to, towards biological offspring?
i dunno why i’m sharing this, btw. Just found it unique. Is this common in “Pakistani culture” (whatever that means)?
What the hell is that??? I have never ever heard of such a practise in any culture or society and of all the places Pakistan!!! Is that any less than adultery/incest??? Disgusting!
