i don wnt 2 hv kydz evn aftr 40. too many unwantd mauts 2 feed in da wrld alredy. jus adopt. re-deuce populaysun.
Heres my 2 cents. I'm in my late 30s and expecting my third precious baby in a couple of weeks. I have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old. They are just the joy of my life. Do I wish I were younger? Of course! (Dont we all)?
Age really doesnt matter when it comes to parenting. From what I've seen, many girls who marry young and have children right away seem to resent them. Maybe because they never had a chance to get on their own with a career, never had a chance to be independent for a while, they feel trapped. I cant tell you how many younger mothers just complain all the time at how hard being a mother is and how they have no time for themselves. I find nothing but joy in motherhood.
I met my beautiful husband later on and wanted these children so very badly. Wanting to be a good parent and really wanting children is the most important factor I think. Yes, I did have some fertility problems and yes I did have 2 miscarriages mostly because of my age. But that didnt stop me. There are tests that are done to determine whether the baby is normal or not and there is technology to help conception when there is trouble, sometimes as simply as taking one baby aspirin a day!
I think the reason that having children in your 30s is frowned upon comes from the older generation when healthcare wasnt as advanced and people really began to feel old in their 50s. These days, 50 is young and my dad, at 72 is healthy, strong and sharp as a tack. And he's more the rule than the exception. Inshallah, I fully expect to be there for my boys, to see them graduate from college and go on to marry. Although I wish I were younger, I have more than enough stamina to care lovingly for my boys. I am grateful that I am well educated, had a career and we are financially established enough that I can stay home with my boys and still provide well for them.
I also want to comment about the age of other mothers - I live in New York and I am around the same age as the other mothers dropping off their little ones at nursery school and gym class. Its much more common here, I guess.
Pressuring younger couples to have children when they arent ready is a recipe for bad parenting.
^ Thanks for sharing your perspective. Well, from what I’ve noticed too, I think it’s totally true what they say about the pasture always looking greener on the other side. Although I want to get married at this point and produce 2 gorgeous, lovable mini-Sweetpies (hehe), I have also heard more than one younger female tell my mom how lucky I am to have a career, continue my studies, and lead a worry-free leisurely life (from their perspective) while they’re basically “stuck” with husband, kids, and (what they make sound like) mega-responsibility at such a young age. So I think while here I sit wringing my hands sometimes about the whole marriage/having kids situation, others actually perceive it as an opportunity they never got to have. And knowing this much in turn makes me feel how unappreciative and unfulfilled we can sometimes be no matter which side of the coin we choose to side with. Therefore, once more, I’ll reiterate that marriage/kids all happens with due time and what most people say does ring true…“it happens when you least expect it” (especially the marriage part).
