My wife has been through this path also despite my advice against it, you will not find any sincerity amongst general desis here, I saw people dedicate their entire life for the community and during the time of need, they all neglected them.
We dont socialize with desis anymore.
On the subject of baring the sole, humans are intrigued by mistery and if there is no mystery left we completely lose interest. You never fuse into each other, be independent and enrich each others lives.