Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
Believe it or not, OP. He has friendzoned you really badly. I don't there is a way out for you.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
Guy is happily married.
You are Pakistani Christian.
You are friend with him and his wife.
You broke your engagement before wedding, how would you rate your love with married guy? There are possibilities that things between you and your married guy never work.
Success chance of Pakistani Christian female and Muslim male are high, but you as second wife will not be successful. Why did not you propose him before his marriage? He is now biwi bachon wala, and you are trying to break his family. At least, he will not accept your proposal, what will you do?
This one sided love is merely a crush. Give yourself time of one year, you will realize that how stupid you will be.
You need to look at other options, find a guy of your faith, but some families are okay with Christian girl.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
Go ahead propose him, let's see what he says.
My biggest fear. He will reject me. I would rather he won't say anything. I know he loves his wife.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
Can he take me as second wife as in do nikkah with me without telling his wife if i proposed him??
Are you marrying us, no right? Why don't you ask him this?
God help his wife and save us all from homewreckers.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
** Nah. You don't love him; you only love yourself. If you truly loved him, you'd respect his marriage since he's told you he won't hurt his wife. If you truly respected his feelings, you'd stop with your chichori harkatain of sending him flowers and giving him hints when by your admission he just brushes them off. You put your own feelings and desires before his and that's why you persist with your behavior. You claim to be friends with his wife, but you don't even know how to be a good friend to her cuz you put yourself first. Where does God and your faith and your conscience and your self-respect fit into this? Maybe all these things have also taken a backseat to your obsession which you insist is love. The guy is wrong too. He should keep a distance from you; he needs a reminder of the admonition to "lower his gaze." Maybe it's an ego boost for him to continue socializing with you unnecessarily even after brushing off your hints. He hasn't verbally expressed a romantic interest and he brushes off your passes. I could understand if there was a inconsistency between his words and actions, but they both seem to be on the same page. There may or not be a sexual attraction between you. It could just be in your head; wishful thinking. Or if there is indeed a mutual attraction, then again I fault him for his own laxity as well. They seem like a dense couple in the sense that women/wives tend to have a stronger intuition and I find it disturbing that his wife hasn't kicked you out of their social group. Since you lack the decency/hayaa to make a better attempt of at least hiding your interest from his wife.....she, too, gets annoyed that you talk about her husband too much. I am surprised that alarm bells haven't gone off in her head and that she hasn't put you at a distance. Respect yourself and stop playing the chichori.
He is well respect guy. Prays and follows his faith. Never touched me anyway. I just can't stop thinking about him. His wife recently keeping me in distance. I think she has an idea i like her husband.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
You women these days move really fast don't you? We had another thread here not too long ago where another woman divorced and re-married within months. You met your husband and fell in love with him at the end of 2012 and married him in 2013.....yet not too long after fell in love with his friend. You move fast!
Right. Makes you wonder is they are ever sincere with anyone but themselves!
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
How does his wife not know this? How is it ever okay to spend as much time with a "friend" as much as you guys do and still have no one suspect anything? She must really trust you and him. Maybe he told her you are like his sister.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
He is well respect guy. Prays and follows his faith. Never touched me anyway. I just can't stop thinking about him. His wife recently keeping me in distance. I think she has an idea i like her husband.
You can find other guys that are well-respected, pray and follow their faith, won't take advantage of you.....and are single. His wife has started to keep you at a distance and if this doesn't make you feel ashamed....then that means you don't value her friendship. Knock it off, OP. Stop focusing on his faith and praying and think about your own faith and your own self-respect which you're losing. The fact that his wife has started distancing herself from you shows that she's lost respect for you. And if she blabs about your behavior to other mutual friends, they will lose respect for you. And maybe it's only a matter of time before she starts pressuring her husband to stay away from you at work as well. And if he starts avoiding you too, then you'll feel worse...because it'll send home a clearer message that he doesn't want to marry you.
A married guy who senses your interest and avoids you ...is better than the married guy who knows of your interest and might be socializing with you for an ego boost. If he is from the latter category, then maybe you've placed him on a pedestal. Don't be his ego boost; move on.
She won't be ok with it. I know it. She is my friend. I do not want to ruin her life too. I was her husband's friend way before her marrying him. Sounds very selfish but i love him so much.
That sounds like the childish argument of "I found the toy first, so it's mine." It doesn't matter that you befriended him way before his wife entered the scene. That does not give you the right to carry on in an intimate manner with a married man. If he was interested enough, he would have attempted marrying you before marrying his wife. He did not do that, nor does he currently show any inclination toward taking on a 2nd wife. So, you're stuck in limbo where you're putting your life on hold.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
RV is here; we all can go home now.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
What dooes your religion say about being a second wife? Is that allowed for you ?
But that claim is the number one red flag
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
But that claim is the number one red flag
Yeah, but given that she is her friend too maybe she believed it for as long as she has. Per OP, she is keeping her at arm's length
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
My biggest fear. He will reject me. I would rather he won't say anything. I know he loves his wife.
He tells you he loves his wife but at the same time wants to keep you as a friend? Sounds like he is playing both you and his wife.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
Yes but i never got married. We broke up before wedding. I think we do have sexual attraction between us. Feeling is so UN-explainable. He will be faithful to her no matter what. But i love him too.
You THINK...your thinking has nothing to do with reality and most probably is wishful thinking. :(
She won't be ok with it. I know it. She is my friend. I do not want to ruin her life too. I was her husband's friend way before her marrying him. Sounds very selfish but i love him so much.
Your friendship became unimportant the day he married her...his marriage is more important than you. You need to accept this fact and move on with your own life.
Interesting thing you write: you love him
Do you know what love means? Do you know what lust means?
Love is...selfless and it basically means you care for someone else's needs and wishes so much you cannot think of your own anymore. That's not the case with you. You don't care for this guy's needs or wishes to stay faithful to his wife. You don't care about his existing marriage. You don't care about his current peaceful life. Your aim is to rock his boat, capsize it and somehow end up with him no matter what the cost is.
That's NOT love.
That's lust. That's infatuation.
I've seen people who are in love and am in love myself...you're not exhibiting any signs of love.
Remember one thing...if your weird fantasy comes true...you will eventually despise him because he will never give you the same place as his current wife. You cannot come close to her position or her role in his life and that's how you'll always feel. She will always come first and you will always be a third wheel...a zimmidari...a boj...a secret or worse...someone he just turns to when he's bored.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
This has got to be a joke. Sorry OP but you disgust me.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
My biggest fear. He will reject me.
LOL.....you are in serious denial. He has already rejected you. He is friendly/civil with you because he has no choice but to see you at work and he knows you hang out with his wife. But the fact that he didn't even show any romantic interest in your even when having problems with his wife should prove to you that he has zero romantic interest in you.
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=pakiQueen;10249889He was having some problems with his wife but he never cheated with me on her. Always brushed me off but been always there for me. He gives me good advices and treats me very respectfully. Does he know i like him? Yes he does but he ignores this feeling of his. He said during our random conversation that he cares about his wife.
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Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
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Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
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Oh but she us friends with his wife. And she does talk to his wife about him....to the point that wife got weirded out by it. I don't know if her talking to wife about her husband made her love him even more....bur it defo made her suspect OP's feelings.
The description you have of love sounds idealistic and human beings aren't farishtay. The problem with this description of love is that it keeps the person actively involved in life of the person they love. By being friends with his wife...means you are involved in his life. That's not healthy. It's better to distance yourself from this guy ... To not socialize with him unnecessarily...which she's doing. Love entails sacrifice, but it need not go to the extent of a self- destruction where you put your life on hold for someone who doesn't return the sentiments.
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
bus bhi ker. Aab kia ruliee gi pagli 
Re: HATE to admit but i am still in love with a married man
You're a Christian: polygamy is not allowed. Period. If you live in the US or UK: polygamy is not allowed. Period. Jeez -- you're giving Pakistani Christians a bad name.
You have been rejected completely and are simply in denial. Hey, I'm an old lady now, and I have waited for a married man or two in my day, and you know what? It won't happen. He doesn't want you. And WHY would you want to be a second wife?? Have you no self-respect? Are you not worth being the only wife? You've been watching too many Hindi movies. Sar Jhukaaoge To Patthar Devta Ho Jaayega -- what a crock!