hate it...

cant tell family for obvious reasons but i am not liking my stay here, MIL is what i expected, very blunt and can say hurtful comments, thinks her own children are godsends, and is always making odd spiteful comments, has a habit of cleaning my room, theres no privacy here at all, people just walk into the room ( apart from at night when we aslp) but otherwise its a gateway for them. im sick ofit and its only been a week…plus im not feeling well, and was lieing down, and she came home from work, and just looked at me and said tumhe kya hua…in a not nice voice and proceeded to huff and puff and say that no one else cooks i have to cook all the time etc etc, her own daughter is also not well, although she appears well, and the mother tells the world how ill her duahgter is and shes always making sure shes ok, i wasant asked once…ive only been here a week…god help me…i wana go home..bless my husband, he knows all this, and is supportive, he asked me to keep trying to be nice, if after another week its same, he will talk to his mum…but i dnt think thats good idea, shel think ive been brainwashing him,…dunno what to do..miss london…:

Re: hate it...

Learn to ignore. You are so lucky masa allah that your husband tries to understand you and does not blame you for everything. Who really matters your husband or your inlaws ? If your husband is nice with you why do you bother with the rest ? And don't expect your MIL to treat you like a daughter when you are not treating her like a mother. Offcourse she will always be more concerned about her own children. Why do you expect her to ask you how you are doing ? And people do come into your room in a joint family system . It has both pros and cons. Give some time everything will get settled.

PS: Try to look at positive side of your MIL too she is cleaning your room and doing all the cooking in 99% of the cases it's the other way round.

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You’re homesick Nadz…thats all. :hugz:

Dont read into these things at all. At least you dont have the kind of MIL that wants to know every single teeny tiny thing that transpires between you and your husband. Your husband is on your side and thats all that matters here.

Hope all is well with you!

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oh god.. ur scaring me .. :I

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… this episode will continue after the break… :khumar:

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Oh god she is back! ALLAH SAVE US!!!!

runs screaming from the thread

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Wherebouts in Pak are u anyway, Nadz?

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Are you and hubby planning on staying with his family permanently OR is this temporary since you've only been there a week?

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Give it time. Its hard enough for girls these days to move from one part of the city to another. And you have moved continents. You will be fine iA.

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Your MIL is barbaric!

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If you see any black crows flying around near you, or notice strange objects embedded in small crevices, alert mustanamalik.

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those of you that find this a good place to make fun .......

have you considered that this may be the only place she has to share her thoughts?

seriously people....grow a heart......

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awwwwiieee now i feel horrible.. sorry nadz, i was j/k to lighten up the mood :(

Anyway, your husband seems like a pretty awesome dude and it's great he's on your side. Hang in there. Hopefully things will get better. The whole living with the in laws stuff can be rough I guess. But I think you've mentioned before that your husband is your cousin so is it his mom you're related to, or his dad? If it's his mom, maybe as a last resort , I dunno, you can have one of your parents talk to her, if they are her sibling. :-/

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omg i feel so sorry for you
come back!

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Snuggle your baby and be glad your hubby is understanding and supportive.

And since your MIL does not seem evil, just maybe annoyed or resentful, see if there is any way you can see some issue from her perspective and can improve your relationship with her. You've only just arrived, but you are now part of this household; not a guest. How can you convey that to her? Especially since she is working, you want to make sure that you are making yourself a part of the family and sharing in responsibilities and joys.

Also, if I remember correctly, your MIL is your khala/phuppo/chachi/mumani/or something, so keep in mind that the family marriage brings with it added layers of complexity. She knows you as a niece and there are positives and negatives associated with that. And she knows you as the bahu who lives far away; she now needs to get to know you as the bahu and niece who is close to her home and heart.

Re: hate it...

well you wrote that she works and also that she was complaining about how she has to cook everyday....you also wrote that she cleans your room....well you need to take part in house chores....she seems to be one doing all work.....why does she clean your room?don't you clean it yourself? nayi naveli dulhan luxuries come only if there are any maids in the house, if there are none, then you have to start doing the house work ASAP to avoid more issues...how about cook and keep the food ready and clean the house by the time she comes back from work?I am sure she will be impressed...it is obvious that she is getting mad 'coz she has to do a job and then comeback and do all chores....it doesn't even sound fair that way!

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ROTFL!!!!! controls her laugh really hard

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double post

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I'm glad my being ashamed is a source of amusement for you. :-p

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^

:hehe:

Oh and nadz, give your self and your MIL some time! Things can always change for the better! Hope it happens for you real soon iA.