We read threads all the time about how horrible, uncaring, selfish, posessive the MILs are.. so why not talk about if they have ever been nice to you? Any nice moment that you have shared with your mother in law? Or is there any time when she has done something special for you?
We read threads all the time about how horrible, uncaring, selfish, posessive the MILs are.. so why not talk about if they have ever been nice to you? Any nice moment that you have shared with your mother in law? Or is there any time when she has done something special for you?
ummm... nothin that i can remember! hehehe.. just kidding! maybe, there is something, which is not such a gr8 thing but i feel really nice each time she does it... like she will say tum keema acha banati ho or mein ne dosro ko kaha hai mujhe dosri bahu (my name) jaisi chaiye... sometimes when i do somethin dumb or dont understand something (which is very often.. hehehehe) she wud say ohhhh.. meri masoom bahu.. i feel so pissed when anyone says that to me but i guess it shows i m innocent and unharmful... hehe she hasnt done something really major to touch my heart... just these v small things which dun happen very often.
Re: Has your MIL ever been nice to you?
shay i so agree with you!! i was also sick of those kinds of threads.. MIL bashing threads!
Mother-in-laws can be good friends, mine was and I miss her alot .
She have been super nice and understanding Mil .I have always been thankful to have such a nice mother-in-law who was more like a friend to me .
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My MIL is pretty much ALWAYS nice to me.
-She makes me soup and such when I'm not well
-When I was walking to my driving school every day during the summer, she would make up excuses to be in the area and give me a ride
-If she goes anywhere, she brings me back gifts
-She's gotten me TONS of clothes that always get compliments
-She is patient with me
-She jokes with me
-She is considerate and caring toward my mother
-When they are coming over around dinner time, and the plans are last-minute, she will generally bring as much food as possible
-She is encouraging of my career aspirations
-She wants me to have children, but she has never demanded it rudely
I could go on.
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awww such a cute thread. I don't have a MIL, she passed away several years ago before our marriage..i didn't get to experience that relationship...But, she was a very sweet lady :)
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when my MIL was visiting me,whenever i got her something,like a glass of water etc or did anything for her,she would always give dua in Punjabi,which meant jeetay raho,always be happy and may Allah shower his blessings upon you...every single time she used to say this....:)
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i get along well with my MIL too.. she is such a sweet woman. i think too much of allah ka darr in her heart so she is pretty much a doll to anyone and everyone.. so much so that ppl walk all over her… initially i was a new bahu so i would say anything but now i lecture her on how to take on ppl … so she tells others how her bahu is making her strong 
the funniest is our convos where MIl will tell me about a situation where someone has been rude to her.. and i would say well why didnt u do this or that?! and she would go :o mein kaise karu? hehe..
my MIL takes care of me when i am sick.. we didnt even know i was pregnant .. had some doubts so she made me rest completely! go to school, come home and relax.. u will not do dishes nor cook nor anything else. hehe.. its the same when i used to have my monthlys.. man it was hard to move around with the woman on my back going tum baiti nahi rehsakthi kia! awwww 
even things i just say in passing she will get for me immediately (in the beginning it would be irritating cuz i wanted the husband to do it and she couldnt understand what the diff was *but beta.. i was grocery shopping, u said earlier u want anar, so i got them,.. u dont want 
? * hehe..
she will veto anything my husband says he wants to do, if I dont want to do it so at our place, only damads and bahus get the upper hand.
she will hear some news bit bout some desi family that mistreated their bahu, or the husband beats her up etc.. and after telling us she will turn to my husband and go if u even dare to so much as talk to her in a high voice, i will throw u out to which me husband will go dayum who’s mom are u!
she appreciates things when i do them be they cooking, cleaning, dressing up (this she learned to do later on though, after her own daughter got married. so i had to be patient with this one. initially she wouldnt compliment nor appreciate). but now its a diff story so taht makes me wanna do even more for my in laws.
i have never felt exluded from family affairs cuz she has always involved me from day one and expects my input which IS taken into consideration. it means a lot cuz i see a lot of bahus that arent expected to know bout family secrets or their input means nothing for their in laws.
she is very very helpful, considerate and caring of my feelings and whats important to me.
couldnt have asked for a better mom in law 
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My mil is absolutely gorgeous, mA (those of you who have seen her know that :)) and super successful in her career. She's very formal with people and is not one of those hoo haa type women, going around gossiping or having a large circle of friends. She was a bit reserved when 'baat pakki' was going on but once everything was fixed, she opened up to me like no other. It started with both our families taking a trip to NYC and while hubby's family were taking pictures, she asked me to join them. That was the first sign of affection she showed me. She was also very generous and kind enough to let me choose everything on my own during our Nikkah time, and I mean every single thing including the 'joras' their side was bringing for me. After the Nikkah, I flew back with my husband to his house for a few days and I was welcomed with open arms by his entire family. My mil hugged me and told me that now I was her daughter, this house was mine and anytime I wanted something, I should come to her and my fil because they were now going to spoil me just like they have spoiled their three boys. She had prepped the whole house for my arrival and had decorated my room sooo well, it was literally like staying at a hotel.. lol. One time I remember we went out somewhere, and she saw me eating green peppers (I love them), the next day when she made salan, she put lots of green pepper in it even though noone really likes it except me.
Later, there were some issues with her best friend's daughter who came to me and *****ed about my inlaws. Ofcourse I went straight to my hubby and started crying. My mil saw that and tried to ask what was wrong but I didn't want to say anything because it would have created unnecessary tension. She got upset at me because she had told me the first day to communicate with her no matter what happened. She had said that if you ever have a problem, or are upset at us or anything, come and we will all discuss it and find a solution together. So finally, I just told her what the girl had said, word by word. She then hugged me, pinched my nose and said sorry for getting upset. She was so pissed at that girl though, she considers her as her own lil daughter and was very offended. She then called up the mom and called her over, it was basically like, how dare she said something to my daughter in law, and not just the mil, all my inlaws stood by me through this. It was a big mess but whatever, alhumdulillah, my inlaws didn't even spend one minute thinking who they should believe more.
There are alot more times when she has been super, super nice, such as if I am sleeping and have a headache, she would come and massage my head, or offer to put oil in it, and she really makes an effort to treat me as her daughter. She always tells me to go into her room, take any jewelry, anything I want at any time. We also have a great time whenever we are going out. Since we are the only two females in the house, we are always discussing what to wear, exchanging makeup, jewelry while the lil devar runs around passing things from my room to hers.. lol. My fil is the same way, one time I had a headache and when I woke up, he had made me breakfast (he normally doesn't do a thing in the kitchen btw) only because my husband had called from the hospital to make sure I ate and was feeling okay. Then when I was flying back home during Ramzan, my fil gave me a brown lunch bag with all my iftar in it to eat on the plane because my mil had called from work and told him to do it.. lol. When I cooked for the first time (it was only a chicken salan, nothing major) they took me out on a shopping spree the next day and had me buy the entire store. And ofcourse my hubby's grandma is the CUTEST of them all, she would cook everything I liked, and when I was cooking, she would stay with me to make sure I was okay and wouldn't burn my hand or anything lol.. and my parents in law would laugh so much saying she used to do the same with my mil thirty years ago.. we have also had small miscommunication once or twice (thanks to me depending on my hubby to tell her but he didn't) but each time, we hugged each other (we both would get tears in our eyes lol) and made up.. and the funny part is, it was not even anything big at all.. but i really like how i can go upto her and solve anything like that.. hehe, all disagreements/ differences aside, I just love my inlaws so much, alhumdulillah!
Ok, yes, the good things do get overshadowed by the bad things. What i can say about my MIL is that we had a period of misunderstanding at the beginning, but now we have come to understand eachothers places and respect boundaries she is an amazingly changed creature and i can say the following when i go to stay with her:
She listens to me
She tells my husband off if i grass him up!
She doesnt let me do housework or even do my own laundry, offers to do it herself if the maids away.
Asks me what i want to eat all the time and sends someone out to get it.
Forces me to take money and buy the clothes i choose!
Insists i go out and enjoy myself! (used to b the opposite!)
Also prays at the smallest of things, like if i get her a glass of water.
Compliments my cooking, my manners, how much of a good wife i am to her son, my friendly and decent nature (i could go on!).
Loves it when i look out for her cos she has diabetes and i push her towards a healthier diet.
I was never disrespectful to her, but i didnt get along with her at the beginning due to control issues, however, when she changed her attitude to the above (after a few words from her son), i decided to return the same, and since then, alhamdulillah we have been getting on really fine, mashallah.
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Shay your inlaws sound really lovely,mashallah.
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^Thanks hun! Yours, mA, is the ideal solution to all the problems mil/dil suffer from. Once both the parties start respecting each others' boundaries and importance, things do start to fall into place.
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Does everyone live with their inlaws here?
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^I dont think so!
Nice topic .. :) Lovely change .. Good to hear all the positive words
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i do.
its harder when u are living with ure mil and still have something nice to say about her... meeting your in laws on and off and how they treat u is wayyy diff from how it is living with your in laws day in and day out.
for sure there are problems.. but i think im lucky that at the end of the day, i can still say my mil is great!
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mother in laws, from what i have seen and heard, can be your best friends, if a good working relationship is engendered.
that should skip the son and husband altogether. without him having to wedge in, a good peaceful and kind daughter-mother (inlaw) interaction is very possible and likely to make the son or husband feel respect for both his Mom and his wife.
so, striving for that is essential. you need to protect your mother in law's space, without thinking that now that her son, your husband, is married to you, that you can take her son away from her. it does not go like that. and it never turns out good.
is this ur MIL or Real Mom:) yOU ARE 
so lucky
aap ka koi dewar hai ,is he single:blush:
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^ LOL!!!! Er, can we put in bids for him?
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Since 2006, from the engagement, my MIL has said to me and my husband, this is ur special day and whatever makes you happy do it! I arranged both sides of the wedding, partly because sis in laws were lazy but also because my husband/MIL said ur good at it, u do it! So I did! I did there mehndi plates - hand made - wedding invites, grooms clothes, favours, video, photo etc etc. When I went to Pak for wedding shopping my MIL came a week later with a few others and joined us in the shopping, she told me prior to coming to pick out my walima lengha so she could come and pay it with my FIL. I showed them the one i liked and they paid without saying, lets have a look at another one etc. She then gave me money and said buy the clothes u like that will be from our side! So i did! Loved it!
When we got back to the UK, they took me over a few days to look at gold sets for my walima, i found nothing i liked, or that matched and i was so upset, so they got someone to order one in from dubai to my taste!
After the wedding I work f/t and setting up my business, she has given me a room to set up my office and given me one of the garages for my stock. She decorated my room to nicely and it also had an ensuite - she said it good to have privacy! She has never talked to me about children or future plans, she says whatever makes u happy.
It's so funny because once me and my husband had a disagreement, my MIL turned to her only son and said, don't ever do that again and gesturly hit him! It was really sweet of her.