It seems like a lot of families who have come over from Pakistan find the lifestyle of the west really difficult and as a result there is increased distance between the family members; especially husband and wife. I know of a handful of families who have suffered because of the migration to the west.
So do y’all agree that the wild west isn’t for everyone?
Re: Has the West ruined families?
It seems like a lot of families who have come over from Pakistan find the lifestyle of the west really difficult and as a result there is increased distance between the family members; especially husband and wife. I know of a handful of families who have suffered because of the migration to the west.
So do y'all agree that the wild west isn't for everyone?
It's silly to blame the West; those husband and wife would be estranged in their own countries as well.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
Can you be a bit more specific? What kind of distance are you talking about?
What are the difficulties that you are referring to?
Re: Has the West ruined families?
i don’t think it really matters…but ok…to some people it does matter…they say that the west as ruined their kids…how their kids living in the western world are becoming more “free” “independant” at a young age.
Erm, it depends on how a husband and wife live, how much “independance” they “offer” their kids too. its also not exactly the wests fault about the distance a husband and wife have between them. i really don’t know how to put this 
Re: Has the West ruined families?
what about in pakistan when acid is thrown at women
or
when girls are killed in honor killing
or
when girls are gang raped by tribal elders for suspicious activities
or
when girls are married off when they are 10 years old to men who are 60
or
when they are kept deliberately illiterate and kept locked inside a house permanently
or
when a husband has 4 wives he is seeing
Re: Has the West ruined families?
Can you be a bit more specific? What kind of distance are you talking about? What are the difficulties that you are referring to?
Well, the general relationship between a husband and wife of the baby boom generation is one of certain roles; but in the west it is more of equality in every facet of life. So these couples have a problem adjusting to life in the west as the dynamics of this husband-wife relationship have changed.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
what about in pakistan when acid is thrown at women
or
when girls are killed in honor killing
or
when girls are gang raped by tribal elders for suspicious activities
or
when girls are married off when they are 10 years old to men who are 60
or
when they are kept deliberately illiterate and kept locked inside a house permanently
or
when a husband has 4 wives he is seeing
All irrelevant to this topic.
It seems like you're venting; but in the wrong thread :) .
Re: Has the West ruined families?
^^ not really, we have so many family problems in our country
if women had freedom and opportunity to survive without a need for a husband to provide for them and could easily divorce their husbands then pakistan's divorce rate would be higher than the west
Re: Has the West ruined families?
^^ not really, we have so many family problems in our country
if women had freedom and opportunity to survive without a need for a husband to provide for them and could easily divorce their husbands then pakistan's divorce rate would be higher than the west
I'm not insinuating that life is heaven for married couples in pakistan; but specifically, the western lifestyle and the many things it offers that the couple from Pakistan have never encountered. For instance, it is quite common for western ladies to work. Pakistani ladies see this, find a job, and let the money (that they're earning) go to their head.
Another example, Pakistani men see the freedom that the western men have in terms of drinking and travelling and want to follow by shedding their responsibilities toward the family. Also, these men see that in western families the kids are out of the house by 18 and thus insist that their kids start earning as soon as possible w/o taking into account that to form a proper career children need to be supported into their 20's.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
:sighs: anil khan is back
yes i agree that the west isnt for everyone. some people really should stay in pakistan.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
Dunno much about the husband-wife thing, I think it depends on how close they stay to each other... usually 24hr working couples (hubby works morning, wife evening) are more prone to be "distant"... but I really think that some children can be easily misguided in the West's social environment. But of course it is not necessary, it all depends on the individual child's brought-up.
Well children should be independent to an extent far enough so that they are able to look after themselves when their parents leave them, but on the parents' side it is ridiculous to expect children to be guided rightly all on their own... so parents should guide their children as to how to make important decisions in life and parents should be available to their children when they are in need of help, and by the time children grow up they should be guided rightly enough by their parents so that they don't get into troubles and know how to make their own decisions. Overtly "independent" children usually end up in troubles such as drugs, crime etc. which can often be witnessed here in the west.
And in response to Promiscous Paki's posts: I won't shy from admitting that there are problems in our society, and some are really shameful... but that is mostly in uneducated villager families, and a good Pakistani family is really something goras crave... my dad told me about these goras at his office who told him how amazed they are whenever they see desi families.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
Re: Has the West ruined families?
Yep, I’m back but more tamed than last time. But I’m telling ya, getting banned and un-banned is getting pretty old; and it didn’t help you telling the admin that i came back as another nick.
Khair, back to the topic.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
It seems like a lot of families who have come over from Pakistan find the lifestyle of the west really difficult and as a result there is increased distance between the family members; especially husband and wife. I know of a handful of families who have suffered because of the migration to the west.
So do y'all agree that the wild west isn't for everyone?
yup west s nto for everyone. same can be said of money. nau daulatya types often are not able to deal with their new found wealth and behave in a moronic manner whether they are have nots who have moved to th west and have had material success (examples of such louts can be seen at APPAN conventions) or people who have the money and no class (examples can be seen in trendy restaurants all over karachi any day of the week)
Re: Has the West ruined families?
My views about western life....it is me and me..highly inward looking.....equal status of men and women..yes it is.. but divorce rates...atleast 70%.....6-7 'life partners' in entire lifespan...kids before marriage.....kissing, hugging, embracing in public places...flaunting cleavages....sharm hayaa naam ki cheez nahin......parents either rotting alone or in old age homes..many times hospital staff performs funeral/last rites.
Few months back I was talking to an elderly women living in my neighbourhood...atleast 75 years old.....three sons....one lives in UK and hasn't seen her in the last forty years...other two live in Denmark...they see her once in six months.....what a life.
The adage 'as you sow so shall you reap' is true. We dump kids in creches and when they grow up they dump their parents in old age homes never to take them back.
Human beings, being social animals need the company of fellow beings...else loneliness strikes...a common disease in Europe...how to tackle...consume beer..watch TV..can't handle it....take your life...2-3 suicides/attempts everyday...young and old.. all victims of it.
Eastern values have stood the test of time but it is painful to see many desis tripping over each other embracing morally corrupt western lifestyles..
A person irrespective of his/her faith would like to spend his last days in the company of his/her relatives/close friends...not in a hospital...It is a human desire which cuts across all religions.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
lets not commit intellectualdishonesty by comparing the bad of one culture to the good of the other culture. someone may counter with forced marriages, honor killings, sect/caste issues, lack of personal freedom etc etc.
east and west both have their pluses and minuses, people who win are those who maximixe on the pluses and minimize on the minuses of both.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
East had all pluses...minuses creeped into it over a period of time...process started 2500 years ago...to be precise.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
Equality in all facets (West) vs. playing tradional roles (East). Depending on where you are living, you should let go of the other.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
Pakistanis are blind paralyzed baboons. The west gives them eyes, feet, and a zap of evolution.
When you're away from your parents, brothers, and sisters - there is no reason you have to deal with crap at home. If your husband's an asshole, kick his ass goodbye. If you love your wife, you dont have pressures from dadi ji to pop out five kiddos. The west gives couples independence. What the west has done, is that it has destroyed sham weddings and strengthened the ones based on love.
Re: Has the West ruined families?
Nobody can corrupt you unless you have the desire to be lead on......
Our values are into a change. The former tradinational ways of hubby being the sole money maker is under rapid change. Our muslim identity is going through a global change. Pakistanis and new refugees from Afghanistan are so advanced, that I drop my chin most at the times. We missed out the era of progress in country of origin.....