Just curious. Have you? How are they doing and dealing with it?. What if a person chooses to just live alone all his/her life??
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
I know quite a few people who never married. On my husbands side of the family, my mil has 2 nieces who never married. They were each the eldest children in their families, had parents who passed away early, and they took on the responsibilities of raising and educating their younger siblings and never married themselves.
I also have a chacha, one my Papa’s younger brothers, who never married. He’s dedicated his life to Tablighi Jamaat and is happy and content in that. I know my dadi always wanted him to marry and settle down but he felt his calling elsewhere.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
Bhishma and Vidura
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
So many people have seen..but by choice i dont know might be two or four…and by choice if you are talking so this hadith comes in my mind
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5063) and Muslim (1401).
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
Many and they are fine with their decision.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
I have an uncle who never married. He’s fine tbh. Goes all about his daily stuff without any problem. Obvs you get the aunties that talk but then again they would pick a fault in anything.
IMO it doesn’t seem like a bad life-style. Do what you want, whenever you want, how you want.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
I know of a couple of people from my grandparents’ generation who never married.. One didn’t marry because he felt he had to look after his sister whose husband had died and he was supporting her + their kids.. He thought if he married his new wife might not want him helping them or something, sounds a bit strange nowadays but that’s what they said.. Another was slightly disabled (it isn’t noticable tho, he just has a very slight limp) and he didn’t feel anyone “decent” (horrible way of putting it but I can’t think of another word) would accept him like that and want to marry him which seems a bit strange to me as well.. This guy has a house abroad and Dad was saying he has an English gf now so it might have been he just wanted to marry her and his family wouldnt have been too happy about it? Who knows..
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
I know of a few people that have not married…not by choice but because things just turned out this way due to other circumstances…they never found the “right” person and now they feel that they are content with their lives on their own.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
I have talked to elders face to face …the ones who remained unmarried. They tell me about circumstances etc, and how life paned out. In the end, I always asked them, “would you recommend me to marry?”. To all odds to my conventional wisdom, they always said: “YES!” “It’s always better, and one must always try to avail”. They always said marry as many times as you must…meaning even after divorce, try remarrying
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
I know several people in their 50’s/60’s that never married (including some in my family). I have never asked the desis I know in this situation why they never married or how they feel about it and they never volunteered. But from the outside, their life seems fine.
The non-desis I know who never married…all of them have told me it was by choice and they don’t regret it.
I think there is a big difference between never getting married b/c there is no desire for that type of partnership/commitment versus never getting married because there were circumstances beyond that person’s control (even though they had the desire for marriage).
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
I know three ladies but don’t know the actual reason.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
My cousin who’s in her 40s now doesn’t expect to get married (poor decisions taken by her mother when she had looks, education, pleasant personality on her side). She’s content because she knows she’s more of a help to her aging parents. I do feel like her parents treat her like a teenager than a sensible woman with a career. Being married doesn’t suddenly give you magical adult pills and being unmarried doesn’t take them away.
There was an elderly lady in the family who passed away and people were tsking that who would mourn her when she never married or had kids. Her brother’s grandson cried throughout the whole funeral because she was his ammi jan. Another old lady who had a full stock of grandchildren passed away days before a granddaughter’s wedding and the mehndi was as if nothing had happened. Kind of made me realise that being married with kids doesn’t mean someone will remember you by and vice versa.
Two guys I know might be avoiding marriage with one of them having confirmed gay rumours. It may be a nuisance for the mothers but I think that’s better than a closeted dude cheating on his wife at least.
A couple of my friends are on the never getting married track. A total arranged marriage is not on the books but neither is dating so they’re in a conundrum and have decided to ignore boy troubles completely. Two have very persistent parents while another’s think she should consider marriage after she hits 30. I have no idea how they’ll navigate this although I think they’ll succumb to parental pressure eventually.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
One of my husband’s dad’s cousins did not either. She is very happy and content and social and full of life.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
One of my cousins, not by choice… it just didn’t happen to her. I still secretly hope there is someone out there for her though.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
Marriage is something that is so…personal!
There was a time when I felt like I’d rather clean toilets than get married but it was more because it was just the wrong time…simple as that. I felt like I had more “to do”.
The time can come along when you’re 17 or when you’re 75…your focus should ONLY be on becoming the happiest you can with yourself. Marriage is great but it only works when you’re ready for it and happy with your life.
And so what if you don’t marry? More freedom to do anything you want I say!
Make a bucket list of all the things you want to do in your life…check them off one by one.
Help someone…become a mentor to someone in need.
The people who I know that didn’t marry…some of them are miserable because their 10000000% focus is still marriage and getting married. Some of them are doing great because they’ve been accomplishing their goals.
Moral of the story: if you take marriage OFF the table entirely…you’re not doomed or anything. You might actually end up being a pretty happy person.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
A relative passed away in our family a few days ago , she was 77 years old, never married, no children nobody..no siblings, she was an only child.
She lived with her other cousins, who took care of her etc.
mA, she was able bodied till the end, but their entire village , and our khandaan is crying for her as she raised the other children, she was an Amma and Grandmother to everyone .
The young and the old, all are morning her loss, from lil children sobbing, from 17 yr old boys sobbing away.. she was so loved.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
Two of my mom’s siblings haven’t married. I think my mamoo is 40+ and my khala is 35+.
They had rishtas when they were younger but my nani was extremely picky. Recently my mom found them both very decent rishtas but my nani didn’t even open the door for them when they came to visit. I have a feeling that she doesn’t want my aunt or uncle to get married because my aunt does the house chores and my mamu makes the money. I think she is being selfish and doesn’t care how their lives will turn out later on. Everytime my mom tries to speak with her siblings, my nani takes the phone away right after they say hi/hello.
P.S. My aunt has an MBA but my nani won’t let her work. She says who will do the chores then.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
I knew two sisters who were our neighbors, they never married and always just lived together. idk the rest of their circumstances.
Another lady never got married because she had vitiligo. She was content with her life though and said she was happier this way.
My mom told me about a man who never got married because he had a girlfriend who cheated on him and he lost trust in relationships… hmm
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
This was also happening to some relatives and the eldest daughter was patient when her mother refused rishtas for her but did a coup when it came time for her siblings. Now all of them are married even the eldest who couldn’t have kids by the time she got married and managed to adopt instead. I think we’re all taught that our parents are right in absolute terms that no one thinks it’s okay to go against them. I hope your mamu, khala can fight to live their lives on their own terms. The cousin I’ve mentioned in my post above also let her mother break rishtas without even consulting her so I know it’s not going to be easy.
Re: Has anyone come across anyone..without being ever married?
Yes, my sister!