i have got engagedd to my khalas son but i dont get on with my khalas daughter, i thought it wud get better once im engageddd as she will kno im gonna be her bhabi but now she has even more attitude???//
she is younger dan me and got married last year and is expecting now… my mums says its not coz she expectin n its mood swings coz she has not got on wid me even b4 her weddinggg…
i live in london and fiance is from pakistann… his sister got married here when she came here to london on visit!!!
what do i doo my fiance saysss if u dont get on wid her im not gona force u but at end the day dats his sister…
i dont wana break the engagement coz we both really lyked each other and it was mine n his wish to get marriedd and same with our familes…((
what shall i do with the sisterrr??? plzz advice neededdd
Re: Has any1 got engaged/married but doesnt get on with his sister?
why don't you ask her, nicely, what the issue is? perhaps its something you two can discuss like adults over a cup of tea. and i'd say since she's preggo, give her the benefit of the doubt a wee bit- its not easy having a baby and i'm sure her grumpiness is intensified because of it. maybe she's upset that her body is changing and growing, and you still have your figure- it could be something really simple like that, or it could be something more. either way, until you speak with her, you won't know and you won't give her the opportunity to explain her behaviour.
Re: Has any1 got engaged/married but doesnt get on with his sister?
Ignore her constantly and she will soon realize that she is not that princes she thinks she is. If she is being a snob you can give her the taste of the same medicine.
what shall i do with the sisterrr??????????? plzz advice neededdd
I am a little confused, are you by any chance marrying the sister?
if your spouse is with u then iu dont have to worry about the worst attitude by anyone in his family.
Re: Has any1 got engaged/married but doesnt get on with his sister?
maybe she doesn't like you because of the fact that you and her brother liked eachother and are having sort of love marriage...she can't help but love her brother, but she doesn't have to like you, you know...?
I think you should just be patient...treat her nicely and give her respect, evenif she's mean to you, she may realize someday that she's been wrong about you and you are not a bad person after all.
i have got engagedd to my khalas son but i dont get on with my khalas daughter,,, i thought it wud get better once im engageddd as she will kno im gonna be her bhabi but now she has even more attitude?????//
she is younger dan me and got married last year and is expecting now.... my mums says its not coz she expectin n its mood swings coz she has not got on wid me even b4 her weddinggg...
i live in london and fiance is from pakistann... his sister got married here when she came here to london on visit!!!
what do i doo my fiance saysss if u dont get on wid her im not gona force u but at end the day dats his sister...
i dont wana break the engagement coz we both really lyked each other and it was mine n his wish to get marriedd and same with our familes......:(:(:(:(:(
what shall i do with the sisterrr??????????? plzz advice neededdd
ahh... dun worry abt it... first of all ur her bhabi, secondly shes younger than you.... she should learn to respect u atleast as a bhabi. then it helps that shes married already and u dun have to see her every day but pls dun get excited cus shes ur cousin and in law so u will see alot of her atleast 1-2 times a month... so u have to learn how to tackle her. if there r some issues then clear them out.. since this prb is much easier to handle as compared to saas-bahu, talk to her and know whats buggin her... pls talk to her as an adult, bhabi and not cousin.... in a mature way... but in no case should u ignore her... na aaa! thaz a bad idea.. shes ur hubby's sis atleast have a hi hello relationship and lil chit chat..
Re: Has any1 got engaged/married but doesnt get on with his sister?
some sisters have weird obsessions with their brothers and find it hard to let another woman into their lives, kind of like some mother in laws. if you like your future hubby and want to get married, don't let it get in the way. it may never change, whether you talk or not, so just get on with it!
why don't you ask her, nicely, what the issue is? perhaps its something you two can discuss like adults over a cup of tea. and i'd say since she's preggo, give her the benefit of the doubt a wee bit- its not easy having a baby and i'm sure her grumpiness is intensified because of it. maybe she's upset that her body is changing and growing, and you still have your figure- it could be something really simple like that, or it could be something more. either way, until you speak with her, you won't know and you won't give her the opportunity to explain her behaviour.
Re: Has any1 got engaged/married but doesnt get on with his sister?
There's no gurantee's that things will change even if you talk to her!
I'm sort of in a similar situation - my SIL (nand) is my bhabhi too (she's married to my cousin bro) however she is older than me
She's got attitude, she's selfish, she annoys the living daylights out of me. Unfortunately I live in the same city as her......
Over the years, we have hd run ins, at first I used to keep quiet but then I mentioned it to hubby in such a way that he now no longer stands for it!
It's taken 7 years almost, but I got there with ignoring her behaviour and it's made life so much nicer
Well until last night actually when because of her jealousy and selishness I got upset...but i aint dwelling on it!!
huh? sorry didnt get that.. u mean ur hubby stands up for u and knows shes bad or he dusnt understand ur prb?? :S
Sorry, I meant he no longer stands for her behaviour.
Before he always used to say that I was exagerrating etc, but then some stuff happened I I explained to him in a different way, and luckily managed to have him see some of the instances and he put his foot down
my mamus and other khalas all know about this prob me n hubbys sister have and they have dun it sat us down n said thats not the way ect... to try sort out prob ... when she infront of them at the tym they all tryin to sort out she says okk i wont have the grudge but after a few days she gets up her own bakside again (sorry for bad language)
even my mum has triedd left us too in the same room and said talk it thru coz life will get hard in future... even then she jus sits there in attitude and jus gives the dirty looks and smerks.... its not coz she pregz lol she been in the air since the day she got married.... lykkk girlll touch the ground now lolllll
thats right she not gona be wid me 24/7 coz obv my fiance after we get married will stay where i stay coz his parents are in pakistan....
Re: Has any1 got engaged/married but doesnt get on with his sister?
Ignore the beast! LOL. I think husbands sisters can b like this all over the world, not just restricted to desi's. bcos my one of my english friend has had a similar problem with hers. She was plan mean, they lived near eachother. However, as soon as friend moved away very far, SIL was amazingly all sweetness and light on her next visit.
Moral of the story - if she is so much a thorn in your backside, MOVE FAAAR FAR AWAY.
i live here in london.... so i cant really move away away ... she here on visa a student one u kno da ones dat she not really a student but has the paperz.... i dont kno if she will get the perminant resident visa if she preggz but her husband is also here on visa... so it will be only her kid she has dat be british..
ignoring her dont workk... she licks my mums baksidee when she needs to use her and theres my mum who feels sorry for her and says dats my sister daughter we must help her in this staight any1 wud even help sum1 they dont kno and she is family...
Re: Has any1 got engaged/married but doesnt get on with his sister?
just talk about it i bet itll get better. and even if she has an attitude i kno its hard but still try to be nice to her .
my ovais has a cousin who his mom (my future mil) is very close to. and she doesnt talk to me much but as the bahu its our farz to lyk fix things kinda...i kno its kinda desi thinking but thts how it works.
my mamus and other khalas all know about this prob me n hubbys sister have and they have dun it sat us down n said thats not the way ect... to try sort out prob ... when she infront of them at the tym they all tryin to sort out she says okk i wont have the grudge but after a few days she gets up her own bakside again (sorry for bad language)
even my mum has triedd left us too in the same room and said talk it thru coz life will get hard in future... even then she jus sits there in attitude and jus gives the dirty looks and smerks.... its not coz she pregz lol she been in the air since the day she got married.... lykkk girlll touch the ground now lolllll
thats right she not gona be wid me 24/7 coz obv my fiance after we get married will stay where i stay coz his parents are in pakistan....
Shanno, you have to understand one thing when you deal with any sort of in-law situations: you can only control your behavior...not anyone else's.
With that in mind, Im going to say your best bet is to be absolutely consistent in your behavior. Be nice to her, ignore her snide remarks and meanness. Pretend as if you didnt hear anything when she says something hurtful. Its not worth your time or effort to dwell on such things.
Plus, she is human, she cant stay mad forever and if she did...people around you would start resenting her for being mean to you. She would look like a fool if she stayed upset with you for no apparent reason even though you are trying so hard to mend fences and be nice. Even your fiancee would notice that and respect/love you more.
You are lucky woman! You dont have to live with someone who mistreats you like that!
Kill them with kindness, its foolproof. I realize its easier said than done but its a permanent solution...not just a band-aid.
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