HaqMehar

Lifestyle Relationships
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i hope thats how we right it:hmmm:

Anyway, I just got something in my head today and I know it might be stupid but I am not as clever as you all…:snooty:
How much is usually a good mehur to give to a girl in her wedding and HOW do you give it to her and WHEN?!

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Re: HaqMehar

soz dont hav a clue...but wud lyk 2 know aswell...

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Re: HaqMehar

***It is a Gift that is determined by the Bride herself and/or her Family and agreed upon by the Groom and depends upon the Grooms status, there is no limits set. the tradition for Prophet PBUH’s own Daughter Fatima RA was equivelant to Rs 120/-, However anywhere from $2000/- to $10,000/-

Mind You it is also considered a preneptual agreement since it is declared on the Nikah Nama!

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Re: HaqMehar

Whatever he can give her at the time, in cash......

Wife or Girlfriend??? (ONLY MEN, Ladies stay out and gossip somewhere else)
Wife or Girlfriend??? (ONLY MEN, Ladies stay out and gossip somewhere else)
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Re: HaqMehar

^
at what time..on wedding day:konfused:

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Re: HaqMehar

Yes that’s how you write Haq Mehar but that’s now how you **write **“write”.

Coming back to your point, I got married last year and the Imam said that Shray’ee (Average according to Islam in old days) in today’s dollar amount is around US $1,200. If one can, he can give $1,200 or $120,000, whatever he can afford. If one doesn’t have money, it can be ANYTHING that he wishes to give. I believe there are hadeeths that prove this.

Also, it should be given as soon as possible (because the man has to give it before he dies, and you never know when one will dide), so do it as soon as possible. The wife can either demand to have it in full/half/whatever before she “gives” herself to her husband or she can forgo it. Her choice but the man must offer it. What happens in Pakistan these days where parents come in and demand 1 house, car, and hundreds of thousands rupees in mehar (“security”), that’s just wrong. It is strictly between the husband and the wife. No one has the right to even make suggestions, let alone ASK for it.

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Re: HaqMehar

^ Or suggest that she not even take it....

I know that there are two types, one is upfront (where its given umm before "rukhsati") and another is deferred... alot of ppl believe hte defferred is just a written amount that will only be given in the situation of divorce...warna the guy gives nothing and the girl gets nothing....

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Re: HaqMehar

thats how it is exactly .....

Good answer .....

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Re: HaqMehar

Right. The deferred one can be given over a period of time but I believe one must be given before consummating the marriage.

I don't have a source for all this because the Imam told me all this at the time of my Nikah. I am sure this information is somewhere out there on the web.

Sind sagar I think your statement "determined by the bride and agreed upon her family" is incorrect. The girl cannot ask for it. The family cannot ask for it. In fact, they can't even suggest. I was having a hard time deciding how much to set for Haq Mehar and dad was sitting by me. When I couldn't decide for some time, he suggested an amount and before he could finish his sentence, the Imam asked him to remain quiet as he has no right to suggest an amount. The groom is an adult and he shall set the amount since he knows how much he can afford.

Again, it's what the guy can afford if the girl decides to accept it. If you and the girl know that you won't divorce (you can tell if you are compromising), then the amount doesn't matter. In most cases the girl will forgo it any way. If someone is asking for a high amount haq mehar as a condition of marriage, then that means there is no trust there and that marriage is no good to begin with.

Oh and also, if the girl takes that money, she can spend it on ANYTHING she wants. Her family can't ask for that money and the husband cannot question where she spent it.

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Re: HaqMehar

Normally it is determined with the status of girl (the family she is coming from) and how much the groom can afford easily. It has to be win win for every one.

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Re: HaqMehar

i always thought haq meher was the money given at the time of divorce

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Re: HaqMehar

So if a girl is a daughter of a billionaire, the groom has to give in millions? I think it depends on the groom and whatever he can afford. The status or the family of the girl should not matter.

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Re: HaqMehar

I had a thread on this a while back, when i was getting married.

I know in Pakistan atleast in my family, usually thep arents decide amongst themselves and its a pretty small amount. In my case, my husband asked me and my parents beforehand and i decided 500 USD was a decent amount. He gave it to me a couple days after the rukhsati and its all mine to choose how to spend.

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Re: HaqMehar

***right! .... In order to be practical is what I mean the sum has to be acceptable to the bride and her family..............

Groom may suggest a sum that does not meet the "Nisaab" expectation of the brides family.................hence in order to avoid all embarrassment it is more practical that groom consult the bride and her family before declaring the Haq Mahr in the Nikkah Naama..........

The main reason being that half of that amount is due before rukhsati(or the bride can waive:)) and the other half is due if marraige fails...........:(

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Re: HaqMehar

…so hugs don’t cut it? :bummer:

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Re: HaqMehar

^ No after all it is a Business Contract..........:)

Timepass
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Re: HaqMehar

:omg::rotfl::omg:

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Re: HaqMehar

Yeah that's a good idea to let the family know beforehand. That way there are no surprises when the groom announces the amount before so many people. It's a crying shame that some families (mostly girls' sides) make a big deal out of it and want the amount to be as much as possible. What's the point if the girl has a lot of money but is treated like dirt and is taunted everyday about how much her family demanded?

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Re: HaqMehar

whats so funny:smilestar:

Shikra u are always write:wink:

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Re: HaqMehar

^ dheet larki :D