There are sooo many misconceptions related to the mahr in our communities!!!
1- The mahr is not set by the parents, its set by the bride and groom. Its the right of the bride, so she can ask for what she likes. Of course she can consult with her family if she wishes, but its not determined by them and they should not make her ask for more or less than what she wants. The husband should entertain her requests and can negociate with her (if like she asks for something way too high)
2- The mahr goes directly to the bride, not to her family!!! It is in no way to “compensate” her parents for what they spent on her 
. Its a GIFT from the groom to his bride. It is not a business deal negociated between the groom and the bride’s father
3- The mahr is not meant to be set high as a means to discourage the husband from divorcing his wife. Some people set really high mahrs because they think the man will never divorce his wife since he will never be able to pay it off!!
4- The mahr is not meant as an insurance policy for the bride in case of divorce. Its a gift. If it was meant as a insurance policy, or security blanket, then why would the Prophet pbuh marry a woman to a man for a mahr of what he memorized from the Quran
5- The mahr is the right of the woman to receive and her husband should do his best to pay it as soon as possible. The wife can ask for it at any time she wants. This is one reason why its not good to set ridiculously high amounts which the man can never pay, its just set on paper and then the wife never gets one cent. She was forgive it if she wants, but she should in no way be pressured to do so and should absolutely not feel ashamed in asking for her mahr, as its her right given to her by Allah SWT. The mahr can be paid in installments if the husband cannot pay it all at once
6- The mahr will always differ from individual to individual, as every man has different financial circumstances. But the mahr with the most blessing is that which is easy for the man to pay. The woman should be considerate of his circumstances and not ask for something so high that it puts a burden on him or makes him go into debt. Thats why they should talk about, so she gets an idea of what is reasonable for him. For one man $50,000 may be easy to pay and for another man $500 is difficult to pay. And of course it differs not only in social class, but all around the world as well, as what might be considered an average mahr in Pakistan would generally be like peanuts here
7- Husbands should take the mahr very seriously and do their best to give it as soon as possible. They should not think that it is not to be paid until divorce or the time of death. If he dies without paying it, he dies with it as a debt on him, and its a very seriously thing in Islam to die with a debt on you. And it is the first debt paid out of his estate before the inheritance is divided. So he should try his best to pay it as soon as he can
8- The mahr is for the wife to use and enjoy as she wishes. She can spend it all on herself, she can buy gifts for others, she can give it all away in charity, she can put it into savings, she can do whatever she can and is not obliged to spend it on anyone except how she decides for herself