But you probably won't be in the same room during the nikkah, so how are you supposed to say anything? Unless it was all discussed in advance with everybody, openly, so that there are no surprises afterwards. I would say, discuss it with your parents, then have the parents discuss it with his parents. I don't know .... it's all tricky. Some people are so freaking laalchi, but that doesn't mean you have an excuse to act all cheap and not give anything as mehr. That's a woman's right and it's there to protect her during a separation or even divorce. Then if you get screwed over and aren't given anything, then what?
That being said, some women don't mind getting nothing as mehr. That's why it all has to be discussed before.
Trust me, you do not want to go into shock after your wedding when you realise that you aren't getting the mehr that you thought you were going to get. This is your protection and right. DISCUSS IT!! I can't stress that enough.
my haq meher was so funny. at 1st we asked wt was it in shariya..and the mulana was like "because there is so much maigai in pakistan the lowest haq meher is 1000rupees" lol dats like 10$ hehe.. yes so my haq meher was 10$:p yes ten dollars...and we ate icecream wid dat :)
because iam "priceless" in my hubbies eye "wink wink" lol hehe
my cousins was 101 pounds, my friends was 786 pounds.......
sometimes its numerical , like ur fave number orm something, so my other cousins fave number was asked, and she said 7, so they gave 777 pounds...shoulda said 9...lol
But you probably won't be in the same room during the nikkah, so how are you supposed to say anything? Unless it was all discussed in advance with everybody, openly, so that there are no surprises afterwards. I would say, discuss it with your parents, then have the parents discuss it with his parents. I don't know .... it's all tricky. Some people are so freaking laalchi, but that doesn't mean you have an excuse to act all cheap and not give anything as mehr. That's a woman's right and it's there to protect her during a separation or even divorce. Then if you get screwed over and aren't given anything, then what?
That being said, some women don't mind getting nothing as mehr. That's why it all has to be discussed before.
Trust me, you do not want to go into shock after your wedding when you realise that you aren't getting the mehr that you thought you were going to get. This is your protection and right. DISCUSS IT!! I can't stress that enough.
It's sad, and if a girl says ANYTHING abt haq mehr, she is also labeled as being greedy/lalchi/etc.
A few months boefre my wedding my SIL was visiting and my mom said we want to do sharai haq. And I was like.. but isn't that MY decision how much I want? My mom was so angry at me for days....saying i was being greedy/lalachi etc.
funny noone on my in laws ever said anything.
Anyways I got it upfront (at the rukhsati) , much easier/simpler this way.
I agree with Mehnaz that it should be openly discussed, at least with your own parents, so that they know what's going on. Agreed that it should be something that is decided between only the couple, without any interference from the parents/in-laws. Sometimes we girls don't really know what to say when the guy asks us what the heq mehr amount should be, and we agree to whatever the guy says, as we don't want to seem greedy. So talk to your parents about it, they can give some good advice.
But this whole thing about having the heq mehr paid if you do become seperated/divorced, I don't agree with. I believe it should be given upfront, or at least a portion of it and the rest when the guy has the means to. Realistically speaking, if God forbid you become seperated, you think the haq mehr would be given at that time? I hardly doubt it.