Re: haq meher
I agree with Mehnaz that it should be openly discussed, at least with your own parents, so that they know what's going on. Agreed that it should be something that is decided between only the couple, without any interference from the parents/in-laws. Sometimes we girls don't really know what to say when the guy asks us what the heq mehr amount should be, and we agree to whatever the guy says, as we don't want to seem greedy. So talk to your parents about it, they can give some good advice.
But this whole thing about having the heq mehr paid if you do become seperated/divorced, I don't agree with. I believe it should be given upfront, or at least a portion of it and the rest when the guy has the means to. Realistically speaking, if God forbid you become seperated, you think the haq mehr would be given at that time? I hardly doubt it.