Re: Haq Meher
This is a general rant, but I dont get why wiht us desis its seen as being greedy or "bad" if a girl actually takes the haq meher. Islamically its perfectly within our rights to take it, so why is it so controversial? The guy is only supposed to give what he can easily afford at that time and the girl (or her family) should be fair in determining how much to ask. This is all provided that haq meher is given only once, at the time of nikaah... If a guy can afford 100 or 10,000 (Rs, ponds, dollars, etc) she shouldn't be guilted out of not taking it (by family or in-laws)...
sara i agree, its a religious right even to women, and by all means if they want to not take it then it should also be their right, but i hate it when girls feel pressured by their parents /families into giving up a right that was given to them. That being said i think when asking for a haq meher both the bride and the brides family need to take into consideration if the amount there asking for is reasonable. I've seen atleast two engagements break up becasue the families couldn't come to an agreement over the meher (without checking with the bride/groom) and thats pretty stupid.
For me my husband and i are still pretty young, and im still in school, and he just graduated so i had to take that into consideration when telling him an amount. Basically he was pretty adement that i take something, so we came up with an agreement that was best for us.
I have mine still in the bank, im thinking of either using it to buy some gold so i don't waste it or my friend suggested that i use it as a down payment for our house and have the house under my name, which my husband is okay with so im not sure yet, haven't decided. Any Suggestions ?