Re: Haq Mehar
You know, in all this discussion on what a Haq Mehar should be, when to give it and all, one point I didn't see anyone mention is that its all good and dandy if you go though the Islamic structure of marriage. Where the concept being that in case of a divorce initiated by the guy the girl is entitled to keep the Haq Mahr. In case she initiates divorce on grounds other than domestic violence or infidelity she has to give it back.
Now such structure and statue is hard to maintain living in most western countries though its possible. Most women would gladly take the matter to civil courts, who in almost all instances give women a lot more than Haq Mehar, which defeats the purpose all together. As far as I know, you can't challenge your ex-husband to give you the haq mehar in a civil court, though you can probably get away with more than half of his junk any day.
So while discussing/setting/demanding haq mehar bear in mind which way you want to go forward.