Re: Haq Mehar
In our family, the haq mehr is usually set on the low side. For most of the girls in my family, it was $1000. In our parents generation, it was 32 rupees. I think people forget the true spirit of the haq mehr. It's a wedding gift from the groom to his new wife. It's not a bride price and it's not alimony. You can defer receiving the mehr, but if the guy hasn't paid it, he can't simply sweep it under the rug in the event of divorce. That's when it becomes overdue.
I, for one, am against the idea of extravagant haq mehrs (someone I know had a haq mehr for $100,000), simply because it looks like you're buying a bride and not giving a sincere, loving gift to your spouse, which is what it is supposed to be. In Arab countries, there is a big trend of men not marrying Arab women simply because the mehr they demand is too high. So now, there is a bit of a social crisis in places like Kuwait. Men marry women in misyar marriages (kind of like muta marriage, where basically they legally "hit it and quit it"), and women accept it due to desperation and the fact that they've gotten old waiting for Prince Charming with the $100,000 check in his hands.
Anyways, any amount of mehr isn't going to provide that much social security for the bride in case of a divorce. And for those of us in the west, we have plenty of legal options if a divorce happens. No need to mar a wedding gift and consider it alimony.