I think its right of woman, at the same time they shouldnt ask too much as condition for marriage.
in my view a huge haq maher doesnt deter anyone not going for divorce. a relationship cant be stable on basis of Haq Mehar.
I got married recently and been through this un pleasent scene, just before one day of wedding, my wife's mom called my father " itna haq mehar hoga- if you want this marriage to go ahead otherwise its not!!!" mind everything was sorted, invitations gone out.
it wasnt the case that I cant afford that huge sum. but for start of wedding life with this kind of thing was really upsetting for me, i said ok I m calling it off, though I like my wife. but my parents said its too late now. so gone ahead with it, but it did make initial perception of other family bit upsetting. mostly in our family we opt for minimum islamic mehar paid at nikkah.
there is another thing, i didnt ask or accepted a single penny Jahez from them, allhamdo lillah. and that was surprising when we didnt ask or demanded anything.
personaly i beleive marriage is a emotional relationship, it cant be based on monetry things. haq mehar or jehaz.
i know a family here who has 6 daughters. they are all american citizen, but all their daughters got married to pakistani citizen.. u know those guys who recently came from pakistan, or those who dont have legal paper work done to stay in usa.. And before shadi, she always asked the groom for 20,000 dollors haq meher which he can pay later in his life... and i think they main reason is that they are usually afraid that the guy would leave their daughter after getting green card. so may be for the security they charge this much money...
You are right, but the question is if haq mahar in an unimportant thing so why at the time of nikah the wakeel asked with the bride that your nikah is held with this amount of money as haq mahar.
yea but in my case i was on the other side, i didnt require citizenship but she will get it by this wedding, didnt ask for any dowry, so it was surprizing for me emotionaly as well as family relationship, and felt lack of trust by my wife and her family in me. so that they have to put this thing into it.
i have overcome now but its memories arnt that pleasent effect on me.
its important islamically but it shouldnt be abused to cornor a husband. i still beleive in maher, what ever conditions were, I know I have to pay her 1 million rupees.
Some parents feel this safe side for their daughters so they asked for a bigger amount this is bad but if both are happy it doesn't need anything. If haq mahar is in lacs but if both are unhappy it is use less, if they get separated then the lots of money is not a replacement of a loving husband.
In my case my haq-mahar is decided by my husband not by me. We are happy to spend money in proper place not in shopping.
i dont care about the money, but its such a silly thing to think huge haq mahar can guarantee a secured wedded life for a girl. it make me sick. i have sisters too we didnt ask for anything.
Yes you are right, now we are married for three years, Alhamd-o-Lillah we are happy and always try to understand each other make our life better forever aameen.
Why are you having a hard time getting it? You are right. It can be paid througout entire married life, but as I said before,** IF** they get divorced, then it has to paid right then ASAP. You can’t get divorced today and say oh, I’ll pay the rest of $20,000 over a period of 10 years. Paying it in full is what stops a lot of people from divorcing. Otherwise, you know what the situation will be like.
There is a certain amount that Islam has told use to give to our wives as their Haq Mehar. I think it is a certain amount of either gold or silver, if not money. I think the best way is to give the default minimum. That will save people from getting greedy. Same with dowry. If the girls' parents give something to the guy, fine. If they don't, it shouldn't be a big deal. But again, society and culture in Pakistan has more influence on people than the religion. :)
Huq Mehar doesnt have to be money, it can really be anything that both the bride and groom agree on. There are hadith which mention a garden and a surah being given as Haq Mehar.
i understand why mehar is important to some people because some women need to feel some security incase they ever get divorced. but some women now days are not financially dependent on their husbands so mehar is not important. if some people still feel a religious obligation to give mehar, the husband could give a nice present instead of tons of cash, property, or gold. does islam have anything like child support if a couple gets divorced??
I agree an unforced gift make more sense and will also strengthen the relationship.
yes Islam has child support thing if a divorce happen, Husband is responsible for his child after divorce. its also part of Law in Pakistan. but most families got sore relationship after divorce, they dont think its worthy to ask for the or froce upon the ex to pay through court.
Why are you having a hard time getting it? 
You are right. It can be paid througout entire married life, but as I said before,** IF** they get divorced, then it has to paid right then ASAP. You can’t get divorced today and say oh, I’ll pay the rest of $20,000 over a period of 10 years. Paying it in full is what stops a lot of people from divorcing. Otherwise, you know what the situation will be like.