When marriage is done there is big deal on “HAQ-MAHAR”, that is one type is “Moajjal” paid instantaneously and other is “Gair Moajjal” paid lately or some time not .
In our case my husband pays my Mahar next day of our wedding. How many husbands in your knowledge want to pay as quick as possible ??
Yes. Mehar is Islamic and it should be paid as soon as possible, preferably before you consummate the marriage, I think. But you can of course pay it over a longer period of time, but definitely by the divorce, that is IF you ever try to divorce her. Of course she can spare you the Mehar, as many Pakistani women choose to do so.
This is from what I've heard, I may be wrong, and in that case, somebody please corret me.
Well, they let it forgo, the ones in our family at least. I think my dad gave my mom her Mehar on their wedding night but she said it's OK. I guess they let it, or used to let it, forgo because of the trust factor that they won't divorce her. But now a days, I doubt if anyone would let it forgo. Some people actually marry to make money these days, through Mehar.
My uncle's, mamoo, wedding was called off because of this. Nana's family did not demand any dowry but on the other hand the girl's family, the demanded that we write down a few hundred thousand rupees, a certain amount of gold, and a house for Mehar. I mean COME ON! My grandfather was OK with it because he knew divorce is not something common in our family and the couple does everything to make their marriage successful, but my grandmother said what if she gets divorced on purpose? There goes all that money, gold, and house. So the wedding was called off.
well, if it goes both ways that's fine..but if the girl is demanded to give lots of dowry and in return has to forgo mehr, then that's wrong..also i herd in sm famillies, the mehar isnt even for the girl its taken by her relatives or something
It doesn't concern with divorce but it is owened by girl means she is accepted tha marriage, my haq mahar is not too much but by paying quick my husband wants to make example for others to pay on time.
Mehar belongs to the bride, Islamically. Once again, it is preferred that it's given before the marriage is consummated. If the family and relatives take it away from her, that's not Islamic and that is something cultural or something that doesn't even exist.
any girl with a wee bit selfrespect would never take any money in this way. Seriously it had a purpose in the days where woman were economically dependented on the husband..but for a guy and a girl living in europe wit good educations and jobs it seems idiotic. Giving mehar shud ONLY be relevant in those cases where it serves a real purpose - perhaps in Pakistan or similar countries?
A man who wants dowry from the girl before marriage is not a man...this can not be justified in any way.
Haq Mahar is the woman’s right on the man. However as the Prophet recommended one should minimize it and get it over with asap.
Still it is the woman’s right to demand as much or whatever she wants and if the guy cannot comply he can simply choose not to marry her.
Demanding a certain ammount of haq meher doesnt have anytrhing to do with self respect. However yeah if the woman demands a huge sum and is greedy then the above does apply.
Asking for a HUGE sum is ridiculous. I understand that it's kind of a 'security' for woman in case if she's divorced, but some women marry and ask him to pay a huge sum and then get divorce on purpose. I mean if you are not so sure about this dude whether he'll be a good husband and what if he divorces you, then maybe choose another partner? rather than using this as an excuse that oh what if he divorces me, I need to secure my future.
And yes, I have seen it happening, so it's not a made up thing.
Even though it is in islam, Most of the women in my family have not taken haq mehar, I think anyone who has asked for it has been made to feel really bad for asking for it, most of the men will only consider giving it if they were to divorce their wifes.
By the way how much is haq mehar? Who decides this amount? My bhabis was only 5000 rupees which is only £50.
I think it should be enough to get you by for a while but not too much that it will put your husband in financial strain. Would 500,000 rupees be too much? That is only about £500.
I think haq-mehr is an silly thing. I cannot understand u girls who so hard headed keep saying that its ur islamic right.. Are u really so low that ur life can be valued in some amount of money?
I wish to belive that the woman I will marry is priceless, how the hell can I put a price on her life with me? As I said, a girl who is financially depended om the husband can use this right that Islam gives her, then it really makes sense.
For gods sake they are going to share their life together, their are partners and share everything.
Im surprised by those girls who suddenly cry out for their Islamic right cuz they can get sum money out of it..I mean do u guys expect that ur hubbys will never spend any money on u in ur marriage...oh well guess im going totally against mainstream paki way of thinking. Yeah fulfill ur customs, give ur jahez and ur haq mehr and what not..be happy ;) And for Gods sake dont ever think logically.
they dont forget but they usually forgive the meher on their husband.
i know my aunt did that. her haq meher was some 50 thousand or something, and she agreed that my uncle would pay him later. then after some time, he had some financial loss in the business, but uncle still felt bad for not paying her the meher, so she decided to forgive him… And now he doesnt need to pay her anything cuz she chose not to have it
Haq Mahar is not the cost of a woman but as man has a lots of rights, Allah gave her right for Haq-Mahar, if she forgive her haq-mahar its ok, if her husband wants to pay then nothing whats wrong with this. Husband has lots of money to do all stuffs of world but for haq-mahar which is allowed by Allah he has forgetten this matter to be concerned.