i know most men have certain goals before they commit themselves to marriage
Many people would like to be financially stable before they make someone else a part of their life. Does this mean a stable job/pay or does it mean owning ur own house(s), car, property etc?
Cant a gal be part of the plan to achieve these goals?
As a woman, I know I want to be financially stable before I get married :)
I've seen most couples buy a house 3-5 years into the marriage and not right off the bat. In the US, most live in a condo/apt until they have a kid and then build or buy a house.
Enjoy all the things we can while being a bachelor (e.g trip to the island of Ibiza) before being tied literally :D
my only goal before marriage is to get married.
but how does getting married stop u from travelling and whatever else?
There are certain things that can only be enjoyed while you are a bachelor . Enough said :D
actually i was not really referring to the things u can do when ur a bachelor.. these advantages apply to females too
my question was more towards achieving things in order to get married.. like job wise, money, house and bla bla... are these things really that important for a guy in order to get married? :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Rukhsarbibi: *
As a woman, I know I want to be financially stable before I get married :)
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I've heard a lot of women say that but I don't understand/agree with that logic. Maybe I don't fully understand it. Why do you say that Rukhsarbibi? How will you or even the guy being financially stable before marriage help? After marriage financial stability can be achieved together nai, you can both work towards it? Waise bhee isn't financial stability a relative thing? I believe jab tak Allah ke karam se haath paaon haen a person will never die of hunger, can always earn do wakt ki roti. And that's all that matters.
maybe financial stability for a female is finishing off a degree, getting a job and feeling independant. Not relying on parents for things and yeah..
most girls i know who have reached this stage are now lookig towards marriage :)
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
maybe financial stability for a female is finishing off a degree, getting a job and feeling independant. Not relying on parents for things and yeah..
most girls i know who have reached this stage are now lookig towards marriage :)
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o ok that makes sense sadzzz :) i have some relatives and many ppl i saw in college who finished studying after marriage, guys and girls both. thats totally possible too. i know most ppl would disagree but personally i think Rizq is in Allah's hands, no harm in getting married even if u r in the middle of ur education as long as the couple have an understading and commitment and are supportive of each other. had some people like that in uni where they were both students and had kids too, a bit crazy but it was sweet coz you saw the couple really sharing responsibilities and helping each other out and really involved in each others lives :)
yeah but its damn hard... a few of my own friends got married before finishing their degrees. They had kids and all.. and honestly its very difficult to study, not impossible but hard.. especially going thru pregnancies..
i know everyone else says "oh how sweet is their life" but when i talk to my friends its a totally different situation :)
Having the steady income to provide comfortably for a wife and potential family is my definition of required pre-marital stability for a guy. Being able to provide suitable living and transportation is important too.
sadzzz 
MS imho after a very basic level, comfort, suitable living etc r all relative, and is a state of mind rather than a result of physical conditions… i think :Pagri:
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
MS imho after a very basic level, comfort, suitable living etc all relative, and is a state of mind rather than a result of physical conditions... i think :Pagri:
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It's my own opinion that all a man can provide is the very basics, then he's not ready for marriage. I certainly would never permit any daughters I may have in future to marry a man capable of providing only the basics. My little princesses would deserve far better than that.
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…
…uncle jee aap bohut aache hein..
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
It's my own opinion that all a man can provide is the very basics, then he's not ready for marriage. I certainly would never permit any daughters I may have in future to marry a man capable of providing only the basics. My little princesses would deserve far better than that.
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yes very right.
"pensive"
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
Having the steady income to provide comfortably for a wife and potential family is my definition of required pre-marital stability for a guy. Being able to provide suitable living and transportation is important too.
[/QUOTE]
thats wonderful and shows your sense of responsibility...
Well, my younger brother is mashAllah engaged and well if I am not a hinderance in my family's way, I bet his in-laws would force him to get married pretty soon. But my ammi has told him that unless he is able to provide a suitable living for his family, he shouldn't think of settling down. My mum is a firm believer that the other girl also has dreams and her life shouldn't be made miserable...
little princesses ...i liked that :)
Irem your point is well taken and pichlay zamany main ppl really used to believe that the girl brings the luck with her....but now the trend is changing. Parents would rather have their daughters with them then tie them up with someone who is unable to provide for her...I would like my husband to provide me everything if its arranged but if it is anywhere between love cum arranged I would, I know let go off many of my desires...
Well for me, it would be to have a secure job and be financially stable, meaning a fair amount of savings and debt free. I am responsible for someone else, and part of that is being able to provide financial support. As a man, it would hurt me to not be able to provide for my wife, and tell her no we cant afford it. Also before marriage I'd like to have all my education finished as well(i.e. grad school). That way when I am married, I can spend my free time with her and not studying :) .
IF the girls chooses to become part of guy's mission to achieve goals, then why not. After all she's the life partner, she can help him achieve his goals if she wants to, and vice verca. Afterall, their individual goals are actually common goals because one will benefit from the other's success.
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*Originally posted by Minerva: *
...I would like my husband to provide me everything if its **arranged **but if it is anywhere between **love cum arranged **I would, I know let go off many of my desires...
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I read this sentence three times and I couldn’t make sense out of it. Please help a brother understand. How come you are willing to sacrifice in one case and not the other