[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
It's my own opinion that all a man can provide is the very basics, then he's not ready for marriage. I certainly would never permit any daughters I may have in future to marry a man capable of providing only the basics. My little princesses would deserve far better than that.
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awwww, that's really smart and sweet MS.
** no harm in getting married even if u r in the middle of ur education as long as the couple have an understading and commitment and are supportive of each other**. had some people like that in uni where they were both students and had kids too, a bit crazy but it was sweet coz you saw the couple really sharing responsibilities and helping each other out and really involved in each others lives :)<<<
Irem bibi, so marrying off kids when they are hardly 18 is a good thing? Why would you want to burden kids with the responsibility of a married life so soon?
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*Originally posted by Fayz: *
I read this sentence three times and I couldn’t make sense out of it. Please help a brother understand. How come you are willing to sacrifice in one case and not the other
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Fayz bhai.. umm.. give me somtime...smiles sheepishly things are just so complex that we go overboard sometimes...I have an explaination but somehow I dont feel like sharing it right now...
Minerva baji…I hear u…well and good…I understand where you are coming from…
khush rahein 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
It's my own opinion that all a man can provide is the very basics, then he's not ready for marriage. I certainly would never permit any daughters I may have in future to marry a man capable of providing only the basics. My little princesses would deserve far better than that.
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Actually maybe I have a different mindset from you MS because some of my first relatives, first cousins are not educated and very poor. They earn less than 10000 rupees a month and live in rented houses. Yet they are caring husbands mashallah. What matters to their wives is not whether they are eating chicken or daal but that there is a warm and caring atmosphere in the house. I dont think marital bliss has anything to do with money.
:k: thats exactly what i have been trying to say
i havto agree with irem here … what if the guy isnt very stable .. means doesnt hav his own car or house but loves sumone dearly .. .does that mean she wont marry unless he gets all that ?!? .. wuts the guys supposed to do then… rob a bank ?!? this is really weird … i mean we girls just sit on our lazy bums n demand the stability in our husbands without even thinking .. we dont even care for the situation n vice versa as well…u take care of the hubby n he will do the same for you.. y draw lines wut he should do n wut u should be doing… ? i kno m just generalizing n i shouldnt b doing that but sumtimes it really pinches me with that typical thinking…
p.s: m sorry its just ‘out of the blue’ outburst … carry on with wutever u guys r driving at…
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
but how does getting married stop u from travelling and whatever else?
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with my husband and I taking 3 months off to travel this summer before we get to NYC...i ask the same.
What getting married does do it changes some of the choice you'll make since it is a joint decision, hence my husband would have loved to have gone to france to work but i'm not comfortable with that right now...
But, to be really honest, guys who are caught up in what they have to do before they are a ready to be married...i'm not sure if marriage in itself is just the same thing, i.e. to be a successful grown up i have to do get a job, check..get a house, check...get a car, check...get married, check....and then i've gotten somewhere...
AS for money and stability, my husband is a grad student when we got engaged and married, for the last year, I'm the one making the money, but it hasn't bothered either of us.
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
maybe financial stability for a female is finishing off a degree, getting a job and feeling independant. Not relying on parents for things and yeah..
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that's what I meant sadzz - thanks :) I don't like being dependent on others. Also if for some unforseen circumstances, my husband loses his job or vice versa atleast we won't be left in a lurch trying to pay bills etc.
how come everyone freaks out and makes such a big deal out of marriage.. no one ever says anything or has a problem when its just a "premarital relationship" ie bf gf but as soon as young people and the word marriage comes along everyones like oh their not ready and they should be stable first etc. but its ok to be premarital until that happens then? lol.. come on life today, no one can wait that long to become stable.. people are just afraid to give their daughter to someone for fear that that person might not become rich when in fact , wats written for the female will come no matter what.. by getting married you are making yourself stable..
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*Originally posted by digitalsurgeon: *
a_bad_hair_cut uncle, 'understading and commitment and are supportive of each other' means that they decide not to have kids till both of them are ok with it. did u ever think about that ?
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I would have ignored your remark, but your utter ignorance and lack of interpretational skills intrigued me enough to quote your reply.
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*Originally posted by yusuf1982: *
how come everyone freaks out and makes such a big deal out of marriage.. no one ever says anything or has a problem when its just a "premarital relationship" ie bf gf but as soon as young people and the word marriage comes along everyones like oh their not ready and they should be stable first etc. but its ok to be premarital until that happens then? lol.. come on life today, no one can wait that long to become stable.. people are just afraid to give their daughter to someone for fear that that person might not become rich when in fact , wats written for the female will come no matter what.. by getting married you are making yourself stable..
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LOL just heard that in Jumma today.
Getting married is better than having pre marital relations, obviously, but realistically parents and society make such big demands (as can be seen even in this post), and usually place culture over religion, it just never happens.
Get stoned, get laid, get drunk, get arrested, streak across an india pak game, throw an egg and bush and sharon, get of a vacuum cleaner, climb everest and finally go to the mosque and beg for forgiveness and become a modern mulla.
Then search for the sould who will help u to the success.
[well atleast the mod read it, if it doesn't get through hehe]
i dont see any ignorance or lack of interpretational skills by ds there
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*Originally posted by 5Abi: *
Enjoy all the things we can while being a bachelor (e.g trip to the island of Ibiza) before being tied literally :D
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Once I'm married, I'm dragging my husband to Ibiza.
rozi rooti dena tou Allah kay haath mein hai... you can have all the "secure jobs" you want but what is the guarantee that u will have that job the next day after your shaadi..?
to me the conditions of marriage should be based on mutual happiness. ... and money should not be a part of it! both husband and wife will be able to get the money to meet their ends and achieve whatever goals they set for themselves..
it takes time.. no one should expect to get everything (eg. house, car... etc) right after shaadi.. (applies to both men and women)
having said that .. i bet all of our parents would want us to have a job before they decide to get us married (applies mostly to guys) To them this is a way to satisfy themselves that the couple will have a good life after shaadi.. since the income will be there to start planning with.. nothing wrong with it but again there is not guarantee for the job
I say marry someone when u think its right for you whether this "right" is getting a good job or getting a degree or jumping off the mountain.. whatever it is..
:k: