Okay, here’s something which is bothering my best friend. She got engaged with this guy 3 months back, and wedding is planned to happen in June. It would be a love marriage. They liked each other, and parents agreed. But now, she says, there’s something about this guy which annoys/scares her. She is working,and earns good. This guy has his own business and he makes good money as well. Even then, this guy has a habit of asking money from her, in such forms as, ‘gifts’. Initially, when his birthday was there last month, he told her to give him some cash as birthday gift with which he could buy a mobile. So, she, instead of buying him any gifts, gave him the cash. But now, he is saying her that, he is short of some cash, and is asking her to give him some, so that he could buy a laptop!! But when she enquired as of why he doesn’t have enough cash, he told her that, he is saving his money for their marriage and future. She says because, she is a type who cannot be frank or speak up, so perhaps he is trying to take advantage of her.Now she says, she is scared. She says, what if, in future, after marriage, he would force her for money by forcing her to get from her family or force her to work for money?
What you people conclude from this? Is her fear reasonable? And what does it say about this guy when he asks money from her though he has enough of them himself? Would it get worse after marriage?
I would call such a guy “Bhegairat” and the girl is definately right in feeling odd about this. She should definately talk to him about it because i believe such habbits tell you alot about the person and their mentality!
Amen to what the ladies said^^^ SERIOUSLY? I would tell him to get a job, but it seems like he has a business of his own. Which only makes this kind of behavior more odd.
Fully agree....very odd behavior indeed...I would take it as red flags, and proceed with caution..how much does she really know about this guy's finances/"business"...smell's fishy to me....
Although this case sound fishy and guy has odd behavior. Your friend should investigaete and see if the guy is even serious in getting married ot not but if a guy is in need and he ask for some money from his life partner (or partner to-be), this does not make him begharat automatically.
Very irrational (or immature) approach if someone blankets all such guys as beghairat.
I've seen this happen to a few of my friends, and the way it is after they get married is that the guy justifies himself by saying 'your money is mine'; i.e. joint bank account.
It's not a nice feeling at all, but your friend probly needs to decide whether she can have the guts to talk to the guy about this, especially as she is now engaged to him, so it's become a bit more serious.
Personally I wouldn't say no to lending money if it was for a serious thing, as a lot of guys have their pride. But if it's for things that can wait, and also if he's not gonna give the money back, then that's another issue.
Although this case sound fishy and guy has odd behavior. Your friend should investigaete and see if the guy is even serious in getting married ot not but if a guy is in need and he ask for some money from his life partner (or partner to-be), this does not make him begharat automatically.
Very irrational (or immature) approach if someone blankets all such guys as beghairat.
Pre-marriage , indeed it is begharitti ... why cant he ask his mates instead of asking her
More than anything, I would want to know what the guy really does for living? Everyone who does nothing these days would say I own a business. He definitely doesn't have money to buy his phone/laptop that's why he is asking the girl. Like others have said, she should investigate and find out what he really does for living.
I find it strange that first he demanded a gift, later more money for something that it not a necessity. I am sure he has a laptop and if he doesn't have enough money for a new one, he can wait and save some. I see red flags, time to run!
Do some background check on this guy , seriously , if his business is doing good then he should be showering her with gifts instead.
Those people who have some kind of business and are financially weak then they should not be getting married before their finances are in order.
If his business cannot give him enough income to buy a mobile or a laptop then he is not doing any business , he is just a leach. Trust me on this one.
I know plenty of his kind. I was not born yesterday.
and the girl is definately right in feeling odd about this. She should definately talk to him about it because i believe such habbits tell you alot about the person and their mentality!