Re: Guppies, I want to understand the male's perspective on this!
I personally feel i give him enough time and space and always leave it to him to maintain the frequency of communication the way he likes. Maybe less is more is his view on it. With me, less is less. That is where our expectations are wrong. I need to work on this because apparently he is working on making it better from his end.
@X2 : he is into travel, music, movies, friends, all that. He isn't a phone guy, I know for sure and i don't call him neither does he do that much. We usually use other typing modes to communicate which is a blessing for me as well. So expectations with that are fine.
I guess, what every one is trying to say is that I should be more patient, not have many expectations from him and take it step by step. I need to give him time. I think I also need to go missing sometimes, I am like ALWAYS available for him when ever he needs me.
So basically, should i remain quiet about things that are bothering me and let him take it with the flow he wants to? When ever we talk, i should keep it cool for him to be comfortable enough with the setting and then finally if he do reach that stage, it will be good. Insha Allah. I hope so.
I need to know how to keep myself busy & get my life back as it used to be. Ive been sulking too much over this and totally ruined the liveliness of my ownself just pondering over the ifs, whats, buts, hows of this.
Re: Guppies, I want to understand the male's perspective on this!
^ you have solved your problem - the last para was beautiful. There is your solution. Live a little - catch uo with your family - give them your time. Enjoy.
Re: Guppies, I want to understand the male's perspective on this!
I am in a long distance relation with husband (just nikkah,wedding to take place end of year) in Australia.
You’re busy & wife understands & does not disturb for long. But when you’re free, you don’t bother messaging or contacting her. When after long, you finally realize it you expect her to be as normal as anything even for your vanishing behavior. She still says nothing and acts normal to avoid any fuss.
Wife tells you story of a third person she is worried about, you pay no interest to it since it’s about someone who doesn’t matter to you and you really don’t want to bother listening to gossip even if wife is really upset over it and wants to vent out and confide in you.
Wife sends you a picture of her, you hardly ever praise it. She is good looking, even more so than you are.
Wife has a difference of opinion on something. She tries to reason it out with you and during the process gets a little impatient since she is unable to convince you. The situation ends on a bit of a discussion. You go to a hide out for 3-4 days and don’t act your normal self. Wife is upset over the lack of understanding and the aloof behavior, she decides not to take things to discussion level anymore since you get upset over it and act disassociated. She avoids arguments since you dislike them and keeps putting them aside for your behavior.
You have work the entire week, you are loaded with it and she tries to be understanding and does not demand your time much. You have the weekend partly free and you still do not give her the time she needs. She gets a bit depressed.
You know she is upset over something but you never ask what it is and you carry on your casual conversation.
She does not contact you for 2 days, you don't do much either.
you don't call her cute, loving names or shower love in an expressive way much.
Please don't tell me things can't work out & such suggestions that Life1 posters usually give. I want suggestions to make it work and fix from my end not to make it worse. Its not all bad, there are many happy situations as well when he is happy and acts the same way but here i am looking for suggestions to tackle situations when they are on a low note.