Guppies, I want to understand the male's perspective on this!

[X2]

Re: Guppies, I want to understand the male’s perspective on this!

@AbraCadabra

@X2 : Your post is what i was looking for over here. Everything you have said is right. He does want to enjoy his last few months before the wedding, but doesn’t that hold true for both? Why is that my willingness to be with him or for him weighs over my need to enjoy the last few months?

you are two different people, you make your choices on what you feel is a priority for you, he does not have to make the same choice. you can’t judge him by the same criteria.

do u guys have the same level of responsibilities now? will you have the same level of responsibilities later? if he is working full-time and you are not, he has at least 8-10 hours less than you on a daily basis, so his time to himself is much more limited than you may think. and if some of that time either gets taken or interrupted by something else, it will fight for time. why put that sort of scheduling conflict on him.

you should enjoy your free time at home and with your friends too, make the most of it, once u move you will not see people so frequently and even when you do it would be for limited times. why waste this time stressing, this really is a very good time to just make the most of your single days.

@AbraCadabra

About talking serious discussions, again you are right. He doesn’t like serious talks much and he usually tries to side line them by a joke to not make it an argument. Again you are right, he isnt a big phone person or a lets-talk sort as well. As for your last part, we already are at that pace with the calls. Its usually online that we chat often and that too when he starts it. I usually dont disturb him anymore. .

think about what do u guys talk about, is there something u guys have somewhat common interests in. travel, sightseeing? music? movies? could be anything, what will he do when he is over for the wedding, which of his friends are coming over, could you give him info to make his free time when he is over more fun or productive. make it specific and relevant to him and yourself. as you figure out what he is interested in or not. start a silly game..online scrabble if he is into it, do a one up thing where you send him a picture of a silly thing, and he has to match it, or send him a picture of the most hilarious ass clownish sherwani saying thats what he is wearing (knowing its a joke) and he has to reciprocate…make it fun, have some laughs, dont stress out, its all cool.

some guys are not phone ppl, not just with spouses, with anyone. My dad, great guy, just not a phone person, when i was a teen and moved away for uni and would try to chat he would say he for detailed stuff i need to think about, fax me to send me a letter, ..there went that plan of action to connect with the dude :). and as far as phone guys, I used to be a total phone guy at one time, would yap for hours with people, but as schedule got busy, i became less and less of a phone person, and now i would really only make calls while commuting usually.