Re: Guilt trip
I understand what some of you are saying about being honest about your past…but came across some of this info.
Allaah says: “Every son of Adam is prone to err, and the best of those who err are those who repent.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2499; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
There are some cases in which there is nothing wrong with one spouse concealing things from the other, and** it may be wise to do so, because disclosing them may lead to negative consequences, and there is no purpose to be served by disclosing them.**
**Both spouses have secrets from before marriage**, **and private matters which must be** **kept private and hidden**, **known to no one except Allaah, and they must repent from them if they are sinful. **
..... they should be frank with one another in matters that have to do with their married life and raising their children,and making plans for their married life to be successful.
Source: Islam Question & Answer
Basically, a good man will understand that you are human and sinned, but also repented and regretted and will not love/respect you any less. If he does not understand, then you will have to deal with what arises, but know you will have done nothing wrong in remaining silent about your sin. Your sin was against your own soul. It is now only between you and Allah. Your repentance is enough .
Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam commanded us to conceal the faults of other Muslims saying: “Whoever covers up the fault of a Muslim, Allaah will cover up his fault(s) on the Day of Resurrection, and whoever exposes the fault of a Muslim, Allaah will expose his faults.” -Ibn Maajah This is because such acts spread evil within the community.
Source: Those who openly sin – II
yeah you have guilt, but guilt comes with wrongdoings regardless…it won’t go away, but know that you have a right to be silent about your sin , repent, and may Allah forgive and help you with your future relationships.
all the best
I wish that only if we could remember all of the Ayat and Hadees before doing something bad we wont need to use them while trying to hide our deeds.
On another note, if the thread was about a man asking about how to hide his past ‘mistakes’ then all the ayats and hadees would have been about fornicators and deceivers burning in hell. All the women would have advices him to shave his head and go live on a mountain top he no longer deserves to live a normal life.